Help! My 3.5 year old twin boys are driving me up the wall!

[RosinaCopper]

That's it, really. It feels like they are completely out of control at the moment and it's driving me to despair. Their older brother keeps having to get out of their way or go to his room so that he doesn't caught up in it all.

Time out worked on their older brother, but I'm finding it impossible with the two of them, as once one is back 'in' the other needs to go out and so it continues. They are running rings round me and I don't know how to stop them.

And the fighting is getting me down, too. It starts as a bit of wrestling and then escalates until one or the other is crying and they are really bad for scratching each other. They seem to have completely swapped personalities and the quiet, gentle one who always got upset if he was told off has become the one who usually starts fights, or snatches toys and takes no notice if he's told off.

I do have a dh, but he works and I am a SAHM, so I need coping strategies for when I'm alone. I keep telling myself 'this too shall pass' but will the next stage be even worse?

Please share any tips that worked with your pre school twins, before I o mad.

Oops! Go mad. (Perhaps I already have!)

And please tell me how to keep calm - I don't like being a shouty mum, but it's impossible not to be at the moment.

Thank you!

Been there. Done that. Got the T shirt. Survived just.
My worst bit was at 2.5.
Best bit, when they were at school full time!!

Tips. Crumbs. Mine are many years older now, so struggle to remember all of it.
It did help a bit that they had younger siblings.

Um.
Sometimes I gave one to my husband and I kept one. That works reasonably well.
Mine did loads of play fighting. Right up to about 16 I am afraid. I thought it literally was never going to end. Helped sometimes when husband joined in. Had the opposite affect at other times.

When they could play outdoors, that was good.
Also we have a large living room, and at one point I had an indoor climbing frame in it and other bits and pieces to burn off their energy.

I could probably go a bit on and on.
If others dont post, perhaps I will pm you?

Also had the swapping personalities bit
Mine were also super competitive until one knocked that on the head at about 15. Other one still is really, deep down.

Hello, I have DTs who are now nearly 4.5 and I know what you mean! I found 3.5 to be quite a difficult age, lots of emotion and lots of arguing. The next stage won't be even worse, I promise (although that may just be cos mine are now at school so I see less of them!).

I'm afraid I don't really have any useful tips, we did use time out and zero tolerance for things like hitting but it is very wearing. Also sent them to separate rooms to play if getting v argumentative. Going out a lot helped as did going to classes like gym and dance that they can do on their own at that age (so you can have 30 lovely minutes of peace and quiet). Do they go to nursery?

It's not easy to stay calm, I can be a bit shouty too, especially towards the end of the day when my patience is wearing thin. Hope you get some more helpful advice!

Oh, these boys, I remember it well. I took them out LOTS. We spent a lot of time at the park with them just running round burning off energy. I did play fighting with them too, as it teaches boundaries - wrestling and tickling is fine, hitting, biting, pinching and kicking is not. I also used a lot of distraction and time out too. It's really difficult not to shout, but if you can bring your voice down low and explain that it's NOT nice to hurt someone then guide into doing something else. My lot still wrestle at age 14, including DD. The racket sometimes does my head in.

Madlizzy. Agree with your there about the racket. All my kids have now left home. The silence is golden!

DH wonders why I have the telly off and just sit in silence when everyone is out of the house. Add into the mixture DD's 16 year old boyfriend and it's a very noisy household sometimes.