OK................... let's get serious......QUADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MarsLady]

No not me you dreadful women lol!

I need some helpful advice for a first time mum who conceived QUADS naturally.

She's not eating or sleeping and has no time at all (is it any wonder poor love. Bloody hard enough with twins).

Apart from putting her in touch with TAMBA... (Twins And Multiple Births Association), what else can I suggest for her?

Surely MN won't be defeated on this subject?

How old are they, can surestart help?

bloody hell.

speechless (and thinking "thank you god for not playing that trick on me")

is this her

scroll down and click pic

They were born at 28/40 wks. They are 10 wks old.

LOL.

I've seen that. Not her.

does it make you broody mars?

god how does anyone manage quads, let alone the emotional trauma of such preemie ones?

key is, I suppose, lots of help. has she got a tame mother? can she afford to pay for help? is her partner able to take time off work?

WHAT a nightmare. although I'm sure it will be lovely when they are about 7

notanotter........... the second word is OFF!

she can get a home help am sure of it - get her to do some ringing around - am sure she can get someone to do washing and things.

i tried to tempt dp but 9 was a little ott

LOL!

There will be no tempting here I can assure you!!!!

Message withdrawn

I don't know her money situation, I'm guessing it's kinda average. If I find out more I'll post what's appropriate.

Just need to have a list of really practical suggestions for her.

Many thanks all.

have they just come home then?

where about is she - are they any mumsnetters who could help out! if she's in my neck of the woods i would be happy to help out

I am pretty sure she is entitled to home help of some description-at no charge-I think this included one night a week too.
I had a friend who had triplets and she was told that if she had had quads she could have help...
Not sure whether start point would be HV or Social Services though-sorry.

Know someone with triplets, I'm sure she got some help (form a maternity nurse sort of person) for the first few weeks at least. She then managed on her own with family help for a few months. She then got help via Homestart and now has a mothers help for a few hours a week.

Your friend's HV should know what's available locally - if there is a 3rd level college offering childcare courses, she may be able to get a student on work experience for free.

I don't know much about Tamba, they may be able to offer guidance and put her in touch with others in a similar situation but probably not any direct practical help

She should be able to get a college student (maybe even 2 or 3) my friend with twins got two!

quads naturally

The poor woman must have passed out when they told her!

Hibernate for 6 years?

Get in touch with the local papers and beg for any help at all. I saw a triplet mum in ours, with a good story, don't know if it got her anywhere or not though.

Get an au pair? Cheapish help, but depends if she has the room with four babies.

Hoemstart and surestart def, if she is in their areas, but they will prob only be able to do a few hours a week.

Good luck to her!

What she really needs is solid advice from someone who has been there done that but how she finds out who has......I don't know. Surely everyone must make special allowances for her situation and Surestart/Homestart should up their time allowance appropriately. She needs all hands on deck or else she will remember nothing but stress. I'd advise her to video lots so that she can look back and enjoy and remember it (I imagine atm there is little to enjoy) as it will all become blurry.

I send her my best and hope she can get together a survival team that will stick with her a while.

Local college with wannabe nannies who could be hands on - GREAT experience for them.

All the luck in the world to her x.

Gosh, very hard to imagine another one, three was verrrrrrrrrrrrrry hard work though funnily enough I find it harder now they are 8 than when they were babies and toddlers! We had a lovely lady from Homestart just 2 hours a week, she was terrified og the babies as they were so small, but she ironed and did all sorts of things, sadly only lasted 9 months then they took her away, though we are atill in touch. The other thing I could have had but turned down, was a nursery nurse student, offered for free, suggested by my health visitor. Good luck to your friend!

surely teh best thing you can do is arrange for a laptop and give her access to MN.

What a woman!

try asking this over on www.twinsclub.co.uk on the forums there - - there are certainly peoepl with triplets there - not sure about quads.

I think the answer is - get as much help as you can in the first year at least.

A friend of mine is her doula

I saw a tip on a twins thread which I have rememebred for my sister who is expecting twins. what this person did was to pay a local girl to come in and help at bath time early evening- nothing skilled but just an extra pair of hands- £2.50 an hour. I know alot of local girls who would come n and cuddle babies etc. Perhaps she can find some near her. Quads does make you gulp a little...

on twinsclub.co.uk there are a couple of quad mums that should be able to offer advice