pregnant with twins

[pop]

I have just found out I am pregnant with twins. After the initial shock/euphoria/relief at having a reason for being soooooo sick, I am now feeling quite scared about what is in store. I have a 2 year old and am worried about the implications for me throughout pregnancy/health of the babies and the effect on my toddler. Any advice/comments/shared experiences would be very welcome.

congratluations - I have twin girls 4 1/2 and daughter 7 1/2. You'll go all sorts of emotions - total panic, to extra smugness. TAMBA (twins & multiple birth association try their web site do some brilliant leaftlets on how to breast feed , to write ups on buggies etc etc. and I think they even do a video. advice - find your nearest twins club. Try and get your toddler as involved as much as possible , we had Ted (Katie's ear trying out cots and prams and he even had nappies and his bottles). Make it clear to every-one (like grandparents and friends that you have a toddler and in many ways they come first and shouldn't be forgotten). Um loads of other advice - get and take as much help as you can from whoever asks. ASk at the local colleges if any of their students need work experience. If you can geta tumle dryer (save the place looking like a chinese laundry). I also had a winderful swinging chair run by batteries that the babes lved eing in.get a freezer and Get 2 kettles 2 electric sterilisers and loads of bottles - enough to do a complete days feed. I did breast feed for 4 1/2 months and then went back to work. Oh I could go on, I think mumsnet will pass on my e-mail address if you want to get in contact. Good luck, and I hope your preganancy goes well.

Congratulations!
My dd's are almost 5, and a delight (most of the time!!). I think there are so many positive things, e.g. the pleasure and fun they derive from one another, the double levels of excitement and entertainment they afford us, dh and I each having a baby to cuddle, the list is endless. I also felt very sick, and had horrible heartburn, but otherwise no health worries.
I did get very tired towards the end of pregnancy, but I did work up to 35 weeks ( they arrived at just over 38)...but I didn't have to look after a toddler. definitely second the tumble drier advice from helenmc, and a dishwasher! Twins do attract lots of attention, so I think your toddler will require lots of compensatory attention. Definitely get in touch with your local twins club..your midwife should be able to give you a number. I breastfed for ever (over 4 before we finally stopped), but it is time consuming. I never mastered the art of feeding both together, but I reccommend you try it as you also have to spend time with your toddler. there are some good books around. You're so lucky...I'm feeling broody just thinking about it! Try and get as much help as poss, my mum came for the first 2 weeks, and then dh had a week off, but otherwise all my family live too far to be any help! I got a cleaner for 2 hours a week, which I really valued, as I didn't have time to do any.

Many congrats pop, I think I spent most of my pregnancy in shock - I really thought one was quite enough. It didn't help that everyone I talked to sort of gave a chuckle followed by something like "you'll have your work cut out for you then" or that my pregnancy was so extreme.
BUT now they are three they are so Fantastic in fact they really always have been. It's just so magical watching them interract, grow, play together, I actually feel incredibly privileged now - which is a long way from what I felt at the 13 week scan believe me. Remember you have the perfect excuse to take every short cut (think maternity nurses (finances permitting), dummies and jars), everyone will think you're a supermum anyway and sooner than you know they'll be best friends and amusing eachother in the mornings. Best of luck

"Ooooooh, Double Trouble."
"Which one is your favourite?"
"Who's the eldest? He can't be! He's smaller."
"They're identical, aren't they? No? Are you sure? I'm sorry love but I think you're wrong. They look EXACTLY the same to me!"
"Hey, Twins! I'm a twin!/My Mother/brothers/sisters/sibling/grandad/thirteenthcousins twelve times removed are twins!"
"You've got your hands full there, love."
"Rather you than me!"
"Twins! You are SOOOOOOOOO lucky."

Here's some of the banter for you, pop. Get used to it! I think I heard each of these about a million times for the first 18 months or so of my twin boys' lives! However, I have to admit I was proud as a peacock of my beautiful babies and often nodded sagely at these sort of comments and tried to look worthy of the honour/burden.
In your case I'd give lots of thought to including your toddler- people are insensitive and he'll be sidelined by this sort of attention to the twins, as well as by the sometimes stunning parental workload that goes with looking after more than one baby.
I think the pregnancy experience/health of the babies is mostly luck, unfortunately. I loved being pregnant up until the last month or so. My p/g went to 41 weeks and both boys were very healthy but the only things I did were to regularly tell the babies not to come out early and eat lots and lots and lots and lots- clue to why I liked pregnancy, perhaps?!
Good luck with the pregnancy, pop. And don't worry too much- despite having heard it so many times, I genuinely agree with the last of these statements.

scrummmummy - isn't it funny how all the comments stop at 18 mths. and shopping used to take 3 times as long once people discovered you had 2 in the pram, As to breast feeding two - I found it easier (didn't have to remember which boob was used for the last feed, and no squirting milk!!) I used to prop my self & babes on the settee or the arms of our armchair and I even fell asleep in hospital propped up in a chair with the 2 of them.... oops It was a bit more difficult when out and about. But your midwife should be able to help.

To help with breastfeeding twins the NCT Maternity Sales Catalogue has a twin lapsac bean-filled feeding pillow, for £25.

thanks everyone for your comments - it's great to hear such positive things. What were the labours like? Did most people have sections? How DO you go shopping with twins and a toddler? Any more comments welcome!!!

I had a fantastic labour - 2hrs 45 mins, with second breech weighing in at 6llb 15oz and 6llb 15 1/2 oz. (and 6 stitches). Had an epidural and 2 teams standing by just in case anything went wrong. The epidural was brilliant - no back ache or headaches afterwards (smug or what!!!).

Shopping with toddler & babies is more fun to say the least!!, I did take my aunt shopping at Safeway and we each ended up with a baby in arms and one of the assistants doing the picking and pushing trolley. Seriously think of Tesco or sainsbury on-line for groceries. And I think Boots do delivery as well. Also try and take just the toddler as a 'special treat'.

Didn't know whether to post this in breastfeeding or here, but as there seems to be a twins gathering thought I'd ask advice here. A friend is due in a couple of months and wants to breastfeed. She's asked me for advice but I only know about b/f a singleton and frankly I found that pretty hard work. She's also getting lots of comments from other friends and her mother (she wasn't b/fed) along the lines of oh you can't b/f twins, you'll need to get the bottles in - and I don't really know what to advise. You obviously can do it (and it can't be so bad if Faith continued for so long - hats off to you Faith!) but how do you manage at the beginning when b/f is soo hard anyway? Do you have to have a rigid routine or can you demand feed without feeding all day and night? I used to express for mine in the morning (while feeding) to do a top up feed, but how do you do that with twins? And (stupid question perhaps) do you automatically have enough milk or do they recommend topping up with formula? What about coping with sore nipples taht aren't getting a break? And how do you manage when they have growth spurtsand want to feed every hour. Sorry Pop if this sounds negative, it's not supposed to, I just want to support her in b/feeding and indeed in bottle feeding if that's what she eventually decides and be able to give her concrete advice, tips etc from those in the know.
Ta

Holle, all your questions could be answered by an NCT breastfeeding counsellor, contactable on 0870 444 8708 from 8am to 10pm every day or go to their website NCT . You don't need to belong to NCT to use their services and it's free. HTH.

Scummymummy, my favourite comment was: Oh, they're not twins, they don't even look the same!! I didn't think it was worth the effort to reply.

pop, I can understand your apprehension at the prospect of twins - I remember feeling just the same (complete panic actually!). I already had 3 children, who were 4, 3 and 20 months when my boys were born, and I would reiterate what others have said about accepting help from friends, relatives and any other possible source. I was able to afford a cleaner for 4 hours a week, and also had help from social services (the Crisis Team!) which was organised by my midwife. I also had a student nursery nurse for a few hours a week.

As far as breastfeeding goes, your body should produce enough milk for 2 babies (I think feeding them at the same time helps the supply). Mine were in special care for a few days after they were born, and I had to express milk, and it really boosted my confidence to find that I was producing enough for 3 babies!

One thing which might be worth thinking about is asking to have a look round your special care baby unit, since so many twins have to go there for a few days. Mine were very happy to do that, and it reassured me after they were taken there when they were born, as I knew where they were.

My twins are 5 now, and a real delight. And they still attract attention whenever we go out! Good luck.

Hi! my twins are due in 2 weeks. Iam having an elective c section due to on of the twins being transverse. So in 12 days when i will be 37and 5 days preggo I will have two babies to care for and Iam terrified,
Iam also soooo tired Iam huge lika a barn door and Iam so sick of people telling me.
When did you all go into labour Iam scared it will happen naturally before then as Iam so big i can hardly breathe.

Due to the higher risks associated with giving birth to twins, their is pressure on the mother to accept far more intervention during labour. I was made to feel quite guilty for asking to try for a vaginal delivery as opposed to a caesarian, despite both my babies were head down. I accepted the higher risk of the second baby turning last minute, so had an epidural sighted in case this should happen. It didn't and both my babies were born naturally as I had wanted. I was very keen to breast feed them both, and would encourage anyone to do the same with a number of caveats - it IS exhausting and you need to eat continually. I felt I had to feed both babies at once, to save time (having an older child to look after). In retrospect, it may have been easier to feed them independantly - far more relaxing, less physically difficult, and you have that special time with each child. To anyone with young twins - good luck and my heart goes out to you - it is hard, hard, work, but DOES get easier and the joys are infinite.

could i just echo SueDonim's advice re the NCT breast feeding helpline. i called them when ds was small and plummeting down his centile charts - very helpful and i'm sure they would have the answers about the special issues re bf twins.

Mine own experience of breastfeeding twins was very much shaped by the fact that they were premmie (10 weeks) and so by the time they came out of hospital were on a pretty good four hour routine. I just kept it up (with the help of dummies) and was very grateful for it - I'm not sure I could have breastfed for six months had I been demand feeding - it would have been too hard. I fed them both together (under-arm style) and found those V-shaped breastfeeding cushions very helpful - each babe rested along one bit of cushion. In the early days I would wake one up when the other woke to feed. I found this wasn't a problem, but being identical and the same size probably made this easier - they were on similar patterns I didn't have to force anything. From pretty much the beginning I gave expressed milk/ formula top-ups for the last feed in the evening. This was obviously more work - had to make bottles but still had to be there to give breast feed first - but they were so small (4lbs when they came home) I needed to know that they were getting enough milk - it also meant they were definitely full at night and very soon slept through. Initially we gave the top ups from a feeding cup (for about 2 weeks) on the advice of the hospital, as they said giving a bottle from an early age could put babies off breastfeeding - apparently bottles are easier to suck. The cup, from which they lapped was a bit of nightmare - lots of spillage, which when it was precious expressed milk was frustrating. It's certainly possible to breast feed twins - even premmie ones who weren't too good at sucking initially (they were tube fed my expressed milk at first) but you need to devote yourself to it for the first few weeks I think to get it established. I did very little else but eat sleep and feed, but then I guess that's true whether you've got twins or just one.

Thank you so much, Thea, for that really encouraging info about giving birth to twins naturally. I'm really fed up with people implying that I'll end up with a c section. Like pop, I've only just found out that I'm expecting twins - and it's completely scuppered my plans for a lovely home water birth! I was booked for a home birth with my first child, 2 and a half years ago, but ended up in hospital on the midwife's advice for an epidural, after 23 hours of labour. This time I was determined to have a home birth. "Blast and botheration!" is what I say, but I'm blowed if I'm going to let 'em cut me open unless there's a VERY good reason!

I had a talk with my obstetrician some time before the birth of my twins. He warned me that whoever was on duty would persuade me to have an epidural, which I really didn't want (I'd had 3 children already, without epidurals), and he also said that this was for their convenience so that a C-section could be done immediately if necessary. I asked him to write in my notes that I wanted to have a general anaesthetic if an emergency arose. Having said that, they did try to persuade me to have an epidural, and the registrar on duty was furious with me for refusing. He walked away muttering that he couldn't understand why anyone would want to suffer pain when they don't have to!

I still believe that I may have lost at least one of my twins if I'd had an epidural, as they were in fairly poor condition when they were born (which took the medical staff by surprise), and if my labour had lasted any longer, I don't think they would have survived. I also asked to be mobile (upright) for as long as possible, as I'd found in my other labours that this was the only way for me to keep the contractions going. Funny how the midwives listened to me, but the registrar thought he knew better.

Does anyone have any tips about getting twins in the right position for a natural birth? I know with a singleton you're supposed to crawl around on your hands and knees for weeks before the birth, but I don't know if this will work with twins.

First thing to say is CONGRATULATIONS - any baby is a huge blessing and you have two at once - fab. We have twin boys (20 months .... YIKES !)and yes I do have a few words of advice .... and its completely normal to feel totally panic-ed as well as totally elated.
first is to EAT - you want big babies that feed well and sleep well from the start so you are aiming to grow them in-utero as big as you can. that takes massive intake of food. now is NOT the time to be worrying about your figure.
second is GET LOTS OF HELP - others have said it and I echo it - you will need extra support and encouragement especially if you want to breastfeed as you will have no time for shopping,cooking,washing,hoovering etc etc. Now is NOT the time to be a heroine or a saint - lean on people and you will come through with sanity.
third on breastfeeding - its a huge commitment - you will do little else for the first few months so be prepared. you have to continue eating and I would recommend feeding them together if you can - get expert advice on positions and on getting the babies latched on (many women seem to go for weeks without proper latching which can be frustrating - its a question of having someone show you and to help you the first few times). The more you feed the more milk you will have (providing you are getting rest and food) - I alternated my twins on advice from the maternity nurse, one getting me, the other a bottle and then switching round. They did very well and went onto bottles fully at 7 weeks (once my support had dwindled to dear hub - its HAARD to do on your own)- but I suspect had I been encouraged to feed them together from the startand had I realised that that was ALL I would be doing for the next 8 weeks, then I might have had more milk and not expected to be getting lots of sleep or going out within 6 weeks of birth. If you want to breastfeed your twins, then do it. You have two boobs, so you should be able to, but get lots of support and structure your expectations of what your life is going to be like for the first couple of months. Go for it, and ONLY listen to positive comments about twins, they are a total joy -- yes hard work, but worth it worth it, worth it.
best of luck.

Hiya Pop,

Just logged on to catch up on the news. I have two year old twins - boy and girl - and I TOTALLY agree with the comments that people make. Is ther a booklet out there somewhere of 'fifty twin phrases'?
As to giving birth naturally - you can do it - it really depends on haveing a good team with you. Like BrightSide, I too had a home birth planned (and booked) but it's a no-no. However - I told the midwives that the consultant had passed me as fit for a home birth, and made it clear that we wanted as little intervention as was possible - while allowing for the fact that we MIGHT end up wwith a c-section etc.
They were fantastic and let us do our own thing - music, oils, massage - the lot and five hours later they popped out. I was on all fours for the boy, and as I was then rolled over onto my side, so they could check wher his sister was lying, she popped into the midwives hands.
Warning - we were asked if student midwives/nurses could watch as a twin birth is often seen as a teaching opportunity by many hospitals.

Best of luck

Hi Pop
My twins were born when my little boy was 2 and 2 days. i had an epidural, with boy 6 pounds first and the girl, who had been breech, born almost 40 minutes later by emergency section. It was great to have the epidural ,although it had'nt kicked in for the first birth as he delivered so quickly, because i was awake for her birth and cuddled her immediately. I had a lovely female consultant, a mother herself who emphasised to me that the doctors and midwives suggest intervention for the babies safety, not to oppose your wishes. wishing you a happy and safe delivery

Hi!
I am 31 weeks pregnant with identical twin boys and have severe SPD. I have a support belt and crutches. I have now been given a prescription for Clexane (blood thinning drug) which I have to inject daily, because I am apparently more at risk of blood-clots due to my limited mobility.
I asked if the babies could be delivered early (ie at 35/36 weeks) due to these problems, but my consultant has refused - saying I have to go to 38 weeks. It is looking like a c-section as twin 1 has always been breech and twin 2 is still transverse. I am so upset at having to take these drugs and being so immobile - just can't see why they can't deliver a bit earlier. Has anyone else had similar experiences?

Poor Hen... that must be difficult to cope with... I had SPD as well and was bed bound the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy... no twin and no c-section however.
Maybe it's a stupid question but have you seen an experienced (in pregnant mums) osteopath ? I have found that a good one is worth every penny. He made a very big difference in my SPD problem and was very good at turning a potentially very difficult delivery into a very easy one (not the same issues as you as it wasn't twins....)

Sara7
how did things go? I really hope all went well - do let us know (when you have a moment!)

Dear Hen - Poor you. I too had a pregancy that spiralled out of my own control and I felt very helpless (only 1 baby tho). At 24 weeks spd was diagnosed and i coped ok to start with, then as I got bigger needed crutches and was signed off work to rest. Altho I hated being so immobile, the spd was definitely better the more i rested. Then at 32 weeks i found out i had a grade 4 placenta praevia (lucky me!) and was sent to hopsital and told i'd be there until i gave birth. i was beside myself with being away from home and also having to be monitored all the time. However, my consultant was quite sympathetic and forward-thinking and because i'd had no bleeding, let me home for 2 weeks as long as i was with someone all the time and promised to stay in bed. After being in hosp, this was a real treat! Had to go back to hosp. at 35 weeks and a planned section was scheduled for 37 and a half weeks. I would have preferred to deliver a bit earlier because i was so frightened that i'd go into labour naturally (a v.bad thing with placenta praevia) but i was persuaded that it really was in the baby's best interest to hang on as long as poss. On the plus side, the spd more or less disappeared because i was sat on my backside the whole time! However, i did feel very out-of-control and suffered from bouts of worry and tearfulness at certain stages. I have to say that the c section was a very positive experience and once my daughter was born i found motherhood wonderful after all that intervention in the later stages of the pregnancy. Hang on in there, try and rest as much as you can and try to focus on the positive.