Encouraging speech I can understand!

[Paula71]

Okay, me again. Ds twins are nearing their 2nd birthday and had a really positive 23 month review with the health visitor. Just one thing, and it is me who is worried....

They have developed their own twin-speak where they chat away to each other but no one else can understand them. The health visitor says this is normal and not to worry but I do! I know they can say certain words and phrases but they just won't!!!!

So, how do I encourage them to use English rather than BooBear speak? I am at a loss for what to do next. We are going back to check on their speech development in a few months and the health visitor seems to think they'll be fine by then!

Help!

My dad & his twin also had their own language, until they went to school (5yo). Only other person who understood it (a bit) was my grandmother.

My dad & twin both went on to University & high achievement in life, so I don't think it's the end of the world. They can't remember any of their childhood language, either! Maybe just make sure they can speak & understand English with you, and probably a good case for putting your 2 in separate classes when they do go to school.

Interestingly enough, my mom reckoned her twins (my brothers) didn't develop their own language.

My ds2 will be 2 next month. Not a twin, but yesterday we visited a friend who has a ds who is 9 months older. DS2 doesn't really have any recognisable words except yes and no (I think he has verbal dyspraxia but that's another story). Anyway he chatted away in gobbledook to his friend, and his friend replied (in English) as if he had understood him, and this carried on for 40 minutes- an hour. The 2 of them sat at the dining room table chattering away playing with playdough. In that time ds2 said nothing recognisable at all.

I used to feel like this with my Ds who's now 28 months. When he was around the 2 mark, said very little and most of it, we were unable to understand. Which caused no-end of tantrums because I'm supposed to know things like a cowf is a tractor??? At toddler groups, I used to look on in a kind of sad way, as he'd be chattering away in his own little language but most would answer back knowing, or looking as if they did, what he was on about and they'd have a little chit chat.

I was always looking on jelously to others who could have a conversation and know what it was that their children wanted, rather than having to go through a huge list of possibilities before the timebomb of a tantrum started. I started to leave him one morning a week, where he has had to fend for himself verbally, his translator (sometimes if I understood - me) was not there. Result = one changed little boy, his pronunciation is still not fantastic, but hey hes only 28 months. So now we can have a little chit chat and its great.

It will come eventually but I know thats no help to you now. I just wish that whoever drops these gauntlets by saying they should be doing this and that would shut up and leave us to it.

Oops, didn't realize this was the multiple birth section, so have absolutely no idea, sorry!

Hi
I have b/g twins aged 31 months. They too had their own twin speech including lots of words for objects which didn't even sound remotely like what they should do e.g. dub-dubs (biscuits) Uda (dolly) ughhhh (water) etc. My ds was more behind my dd in speech but overall I found them both behind the average singleton. In fact I used to ask dd to tell me what ds wanted! However, it all suddenly changed rapidly between 2 and 2.5. The weird names were dropped and replaced by the proper ones and their speech came on so fast they have now caught up and are saying massive sentences. My ds is still behind DD and they don't pronounce 's' or 'f' yet but other than that the progress has been incredible. They only thing I can say (after reading the book BabyTalk written by a top speech therapist) is to always repeat correctly what they say (without correcting them obviously) and keep talking to them, describing what you are doing all the time....although very tiring. Hope this helps and keep me posted.

Jimjams, as I understand it, young children are extremely sensitive to body language - much more than speech - and communicate and sort out turn taking, pecking orders etc using body language over verbal language every time. I think having advanced verbal language is great for adult/child interactions but can actually put young children at a disadvantage with groups of their peers - they can neglect the all important non-verbal signals and find themselves on the periphery of groups. I think that is slightly true of ds and also of the daughter of a friend of mine who was/is a very early talker (she's four now).

Oh thanks for that mum2twins, it is like Furball said, there are so many people saying their child spoke fluently from 9months old, it is off putting. Reassuring to hear about your two.

At the moment they are improving, they now call the cat "garden" pronounced gahdin, as in "look out in the garden mummy, the cat is wanting in!"

I shall look out for that book, who wrote it? I will also continue repeating what the say, correcting it but in a positive way.

And Furball, if you look back in here, all input is valuable! I don't have any friends living nearby that have children of the same age so I look on here for advice!

Hi
The book is called 'BabyTalk' Dr Sally Ward, and starts from birth until age 4. I think you should be able to get it from Amazon. I bought it, as like you, was worried about their speech. I also seemed to always meet annoying people who had 'incredible speaking children' But don't worry all the twins stuff I have read have said even if there is a delay it has normally gone by age 5/6 and twins are often on a par with their peers.

I am off to order it now!

I wanted to join excellent Mumsnet to ask this very question - thanks Paula71!

I have B/G twins aged 2yrs 3mths and we're off to the health visitor tomorrow for a speech review.

The babies have finally started using proper words although they don't really link them together into phrases. The 'twin-speak' side of things though is very evident even though we do try to stick to the English equivalent when replying to them (Gan Gan is a Drink apparantly!)

Although their language is so sweet I can't say I have a clue sometimes what they're on about and end up pointing helplessly at everything.

We have an older dd aged 5 and she can talk for England and spoke far better at this age. I am a bit concerned and worry that this is my fault because I don't have nearly enough time to spend on them as I did with my first child. Am I stimulating them enough? They are all adored but having twins was a complete surprise and turned us from a family of 3 to 5. I am always rushing about (school, mountains of washing etc) and feel sooo guilty that I can't just sit and enjoy them as I would like. They seem happy I have to admit and are adorable but into EVERYTHING just now and love nothing more than to dismantle the house. We always look like a burglary has just occurred - I can't keep up and am so exhausted!

Can any multiple birth mums out there say something reassuring. Any tips on remaining sane in all this chaos?!

Even though I don't have any other children I know what you mean about all that running around. I do feel that perhaps I don't stimulate them enough. I try and get them to say things but they just look at me like I am mad for trying!

I know they can say things, I have heard them speak clearly a couple of times. The other day the younger one turned to his older brother who was misbehaving and said "now now!" meaning for him to stop it. I am sure they do this just to turn my hair grey!

Had a look on Amazon and there are tons of books on Baby Talk, so I am off to the library tomorrow to see if I can get one immediately! TinyG does your HV have the same view as mine that it is all perfectly normal?

It still isn't reassuring me though! When I hear of other mums talking on this site about what their children are doing at this age it does make me worry, no matter how good their review went in December!

TINYGANGHQ totally identify with what youa re saying. I have 19 month old twins and a 4 year old. 4 year old spoke really well fairly early on and am constantly comparing. My twins are identical and seem to have the same words although they are not clear to anyone else. I feel the same about never spending time with them. I think of all the 'quality time' I spent with my son and the girls just seem to get left to get on with it. Although I am dreading him going to school in Aug in some ways I am looking forward to spending time with them on their own instead of dragging them everywhere he needs to go. It is sooo hard work I sometimes feel like I am nagging and being stressed with my children and worry that I will look back and regret things but at the moment it is just a case of everyone surviving each day!!!

I have had the same sort of experience only in reverse. Ds twins language developed quite normally, but dd who is now 25 months was very slow to talk. I had made a list of the boys vocabulary at 21 months and when I compared it with dd's vocab at the same age I was quite shocked to see that she had only about a third of the language development of her brothers. I have to say that I felt guilty that she had missed out on my attention and have been trying very hard to put aside one to one time with her to read stories, etc.

Her language has improved a great deal in the last few months, whether or not due to intervention or just maturity, I don't know. She is so funny though as she is still fairly incomprehensible to me a lot of the time and when I can't understand a word she just carries on saying it louder and louder as if the volume will help me get it!

I think that as long as you are happy that they are understanding what you say to them, then not to worry too much as they will get there in their own sweet time

I am a twin and I remember having a secret language with my sister. It is all totally normal and natural and yes you do grow out of it. I only remember a couple of the words now so try to write them down if you can. Twins can develop more slowly firstly because they don't have the pressure of siblings to either aspire to or boss about if older. Also they tend to be more in 'their own world' so may stick to habits for longer, so could be longer to do any of the baby milestones such as walking, talking and toilet training. don't worry though they will catch up.

TINYGANGHQ - as for worrying about being stimulating - don't. Twins get more than enough stimulation from each other. Your older child can help to teach them.

Have written down quite a list today of all the words and do you know, when I write it down and actually think properly about it I get what they are meaning!

I can understand a little more now. Of course, if I let on, knowing my two, they will either change the meaning or the actual word!

been having a problem getting back on - will this work??

testing

Pop, thanks for that...nice to hear that others occupy the same mad world that I do and know what you mean about survivng each day. I have found things a little better now that my older dd has started school. Like you, I didn't really want her to start but she has been just so happy there. It has given me a better length of time to spend on the little ones, even if it is a panic to get there on time every day.

I wouldn't say it's nearly enough still, but before, we always seemed to be getting into or out of the car/pushchair every 2 hours to go to or from preschool with the older one. Loading/unloading the car/pushchair up with three small children for such small trips is no easy task (as I'm sure many of you can vouch for!) Who designs all those damn fiddly straps and buckles anyway?!

Eulalia - that is SO reassuring and great to get a grown up twins perspective on all this. You make your twin childhood sound fun with the special language...What you say makes perfect sense and they do seem very happy together. Their big sister loves to get involved too and I know they watch her closely. (Also, I really like your suggestion about writing their special words down for later - will do that).

Paula - We did the HV speech thing - it seems that they are doing ok after all. Apparantly they should be linking three words together by the time they are 2.5, so she will check them again in a few months time. I'm not sure if they will be doing that by then, but if you listen carefully, they are having a bash at it in their own way now so I guess they'll get there in time. Like you, when we wrote down the words they say regularly, there was much more there than I had realised!

We were advised to keep sentences very clear and short and to just keep using the real words instead of trying to learn their language instead. Also lots of books,nursery rhymes etc, but we were doing that anyway. I take them to a singing group too which they seem to enjoy. Guess I'll have to stop worrying about this for now, and let time do its thing.