any advice gratefully received re night times :(

[twin2makes4]

My id twins are 33 days today and for the last 2 nights one of them is not able to settle after the night feed she initially goes down ok, only to start grunting and fidgeting and then crying, I've tried swaddling not swaddling holding her to rock her to sleep but she does not lay still pushing her head back and arching her back and thrashing her arms and legs, I've tried a dummy but she won't keep it in :( this goes on for about 2-3 hours she then drops off in my bed only to wake after about half hour for a feed. This means im only getting about 2-3 hours sleep a night which doesn't bode well for the next day whilst looking after 4 children :(

Any advice on what it could be and how i can stop it?

What if you just take her into bed as soon as she starts grunting? One of mine has been a bit grunty and we did wonder if it was reflux - it went away at 12 weeks but before that it sort of came and went so I wonder now if it was just unsettledness. She'd sleep OK between feeds and then start the grunting at about 5am at which point I'd take her into bed.

Erm, the other thing... my one just grunted and grizzled, didn't really cry, so if she starts it again I might just ignore it... currently they're still sleeping in the same room as us but once they sleep through the night we'll probably decamp.

Have u tried white noise? Oh my goodness a god send for all my children, if you have a phone that can download apps get it!!!

Before my iPhone days 7 years ago with my dd we used to have the Hoover on at night :) madness but we would of done anything for sleep :)

Thanks for your advice she doesn't want holding so taking her into my bed isn't helping and unless i sit downstairs which defeats the object of trying to go to bed the white noise would wake everyone else, she has done it tonight in between the last feed and so i have not yet had any sleep the other twin is now crying and i seriously do not know what to do :( I've got to sort something as i am losing my temper and shouting at her which i know is wrong and irrational but i am so tired :( and i don't know what's wrong

I am up as well twin2! hang in there, the night times get easier very soon. you need dh to help you so you get some sleep. have you tried troublesome twin in a bouncy chair? try anything that might work at this stage. no answers but happy to chat. / moan about lack of sleep!

ifhand dt over to dh and try and get an hours sleep and then think of some possible ways to deal with this in the morning. I know its hard but try not to think of what you can do differently when you are so knackered in the middle of the night, try and leave that for the morning (over a strong coffee and chocolate).

Sending you a hug and sleepless night solidarity!

I'm up too!

The thrashing and back arching does sound a bit like reflux which both my twins had - if it is, medication will help so may be worth trip to Gp/ chat to HV.

If it is just (I say 'just' with inverted commas round it obviously..) inability to settle/fighting sleep I found swaddling really helpful when they were little though I see you've tried that. I also second white noise, with my eldest we had a little set of portable speakers that we attached to an iPod which we could put in/close to the cot. It wasn't the sort of sound that would wake others up. Certainly less so than crying. In fact one particular track on our white noise CD always had DH asleep within about 90 seconds!

My twins are a little bit older now, so I know it improves, but I can remember how hideous it can be when you are so desperate for sleep, especially when there are older children you are fearful of waking. Sending you good vibes and hoping tonight is a better one. Having three kids is very hard, so I can only imagine what four must be like. It is basically just survival at this stage with two little ones. I know it won't seem like it to you, but from here it sounds you are doing a really good job. Hang in there x

How was last night twin2? I am up again with both system in bed with me, so no room for me!(single bed in their room). And dd will be up at 6......

I agree with notsofast. It does sound reflux-y. Ypu cld try some meds or as you ate formula feeding and she is ok in the day Ypu cld try 'comfor' milk. Hv suggested this for my 2 as only mild reflux and it has made a huge difference. You also try keeping her more upright, like in a bouncy chair.

Re white noise we have a 'ewan the dream sheep'. It is fab and really seems to help my boys.

At 10 weeks my 2 really turned a corner and night times really improved - it really will get easier soon I promise - there will be hard nights still (like mine just now thabks to their recent vaccinations), but the good nights start out weighing the bad.

Bloody help I can ramble - and i have poatwd three times! i must be over tired

Thanks ladies well up for the day!! Straight to sleep after feed but she must have been exhausted, bouncy chair sounds good they have taken to sleeping in them during the day so will try that tonight, dh works nights so alone if he gets up early in the afternoon will get to nap later, will be better for catching up once school is back. they are going onto new formula soya as ds was allergic to milk not sure if this will help. i just feel guilty for being annoyed with her :( i appreciate your support thank you xx