21 month old twins fighting

[MamaChocoholic]

my ds2 has been biting for a few months. when not biting, he will hit or push, and will bite/hit me when I tell him off. now dd is biting back and things are turning into proper fights.

I have posted in Behaviour/Development, but the responses were mostly "wait, he'll grow out of it". but dd has a blood blister on her cheek, and teeth marks in four places at the moment. I am feeling so negative towards ds2. I can't wait and allow this to continue.

does anyone, please, have any twin-specific advice?

No advice but I am in the same boat as you.

DT's have just turned 2 and fight most days, they have bite marks on their face, arms, legs and back, and slap, pinch and pull each others hair too.
The bit I found hardest was that DT2 seemed to be doing most of the biting etc and I was really worried that DT1 would grow up being scared of him and feel like he was being bullied.
The tables have turned now and they are both as bad as each other.
You have probably heard all this anyway but I tend to just comfort the victim as much as possible and tell the perpetrator that biting hurts and has made his brother cry. They both say sorry when asked to but I dont think it means much to them.

Have you tried time out with your 2 ?

We have and they didnt seem to get it and sat in the hallway laughing.
I have spoken to a family worker at our local sure start centre who suggested trying t o when they are a bit older but to carry on doing what we are doing and they will grow out of it.

Frustrating isn't it.

Yep biters here too. Very frustrating, mine are 17 months. Can't leave them for more than 10 seconds alone together. When they are 2 will do time out for it. They will grow out of it just need to hang on in there. My eldest bit a few time at this age. Theyll stop doing this then there'll be another problem!

glad to hear we're not alone. I get so frustrated/angry and I really don't think that helps, even though I try hard not to show it. today he wanted more milk and bit the back of my leg whilst I was pouring it, which led to 4 more bites for me, hitting ds1 until he finally went into meltdown. his speech is lagging behind dd's, and I'm really hoping biting will improve as communication does (so he can say "Mama, faster" instead of biting).

time out also a failure here - try getting him to stand in the corner and he just thinks he's playing boo. I do get him to say sorry, because dd and ds1 seem to need that as a resolution.

I do have some success if I catch him going in for a bite, saying "no, ds2, no biting, give dd a kiss" and then give him lots of praise for the kiss.

:sigh:

I also used to give him a chewy rubber toy to bite so if I could see that he was going to bite or even if he had just bitten us I could say dont bite us bite this. He would have a good chew on it so I dont know how much was down to teething.

On the plus side my 2 only seem to bite eachother, me and once their Grandad never another child at a playgroup.......everycloud has a silver lining

I have the same problem, also looking for some answers! I have 21 month old fraternal twins, My boy is constantly biting my girl for no apparant reason. She is covered in bite marks to the point where i have now involved a behavioural expert, however, the advice of calmly saying "no no we dont bite" and taking him out of the situation and favouring my girl seems to have made matters worse! He also does not bite any other child within my family or at playgroup!

My boy DTs started biting pretty young, especially the youngest (although funnily enough I can't remember exactly when). The bad news is that they still do and they have just turned 2.

That said, there had been a good few months without any biting until this recent episode. I try to be super vigilant and if I see or hear that things are getting heated, I make sure that I'm near enough to put my hand in the way of the bite. With any violence I tell the aggressor off and give lots of attention to the victim, but then we draw a line under it and carry on. Sadly, mine used to bite one other child at nursery too, but that seems to have stopped. And luckily they have never bitten me.

For a while we borrowed a playpen, which we used for time out, but it was only half successful because they quite liked being in there for the novelty value and it obviously took up quite a lot of space.