twins- snatching stuff off each other

[toomuchpink]

Hi, just wondered how people out there dealt with twins taking toys from each other. Mine are 9mths and I don't like them snatching, but I also find it impossible and a bit OTT to police it constantly. Sometimes they seem to quite enjoy a tug-of-war but at other times one will howl in protest if the other steals a prized possession. Any advice on what to do? I don't want them to get the idea it is ok to grab what you want from another child.

No advice I'm afraid but with my b/g twins who are nearly 16 months it's a constant battle. Even if there is 2 of the same toy they want the same one. She has been bitten twice quite badly already. Hey ho it will get easier I'm sure.

Mine are also 9 1/2 months. Dt2's favourite game is pinching dt1's dummy - from his mouth. He'll stick fingers in the eye for fun too. He also tries to take all his toys. Dt1 tends to get cross when this happens but only initiates by pulling dt2's hair if he gets too close or retaliates that way too. Generally I try and prevent the situation from arising if it's already happened by placing dt2 a distance a way (not much use as he commando crawls back), only interfere if dt1 is yelling or hurting is going on/about to commence, offering other toys to both (often ends in dt2 grabbing all), saying dt2's name, "no" while pointing finger and say "it's dt1's dummy" - he generally stops at this, grins at me, pauses and returns to try and steal it again.

No idea but would also like advice

Oh dear. Has no-one got a strategy that semi-works long term, even just a tiny bit?

I don't claim to have it sussed as our boys are only 2 but my strategy has always been to give the item to whichever baby had it first & say the other can have it when it's free and then making a big deal of making sure they know when they can have item. Often the baby who had the item in the first place had lost interest when it was returned so it seemed pointless but we made a point of doing it anyway. I suppose it does take some policing but we've always made a big deal of being `kind' and they do take pride in sharing. They don't always like it and we do have squabbles, but they understand that it is expected.

The difficulty we have now is that cheeky ds2 knows that taking toys from ds1 results in a meltdown but that sharing is kind. So he takes things off ds1 so he can a) upset him b) claim to be kind for returning. Wins all round, so he thinks .

Until they are 2 you can't really expect them to get that it's wrong. Until then we bought 2 of everything (literally, everything - inc wooden spoons!) and then started trying to explain about sharing. At 3, they finally get it but sometimes still do it anyway

Deep breaths and be consistent.

Similar to AtLonglast, sometimes if its going on a bit long and X has had it for a while, we say OK share it with Y and ask them to give it to Y. There is a lot of squealing, it does my head in at times. I look at it that they are having to learn to share earlier than other children so we are having earlier pain and hope that there is some gain later. Hoping.....

It has got to the point that TG if she wants something from TB will try to give him any old thing, even if he doesn't want it and saying "share".

Thanks guys. Good to know other people are facing the same battles and trying the same negotiations as me. AtLongLast, your ds2 sounds a bit like my dd1 who thinks more or less anything is ok as long as it is followed by sorry!

Haha, we went through a phase of `random tat' offered in exchange for prized possession too Bigjoeent. It's a pretty impressive leap in terms of thinking skill imo and is amusing to see the look on the face of child who suddenly realises they've been conned!

We've yet to master `sorry' yet toomuchpink but I suspect it'll be a catch-all here too...

This just made me chuckle. Even at 16 months my dd will look at what's in her hands and hold out the "worst" toy for ds as he starts to charge at her!