Returning to work after maternity leave - childcare.

[Albaba]

Hi all. I have 7.5 month old twin girls and am due to return to work in September after a years maternity leave. I thought when I first finished work that it would never come round but I have literally not stopped since I finished work and it has come round far too quickly. The question is what to do about going back to work. My job is very dull and I could not face going back to work full time. I thought that 3 days a week would be ideal but my dh is pushing towards 4 days a week. Having done the sums after paying the mortgage and for childcare vouchers and other necessary exspenses I would be taking home very little. If I worked 3 days the plan is my parents would look after them one day, dh one day and nursery for the third day so that they could mix with other children. Dh has suggested that I do 4 days and that his parents could look after them a day. I am very uncomfortable with this idea. They would look after them for the occassional hour or two if I had to do a message but they have never suggested or shown any interest in looking after them when I go back to work. They are both old and very sat in their ways. Fil is only interested in sitting in his chair with his nose stuck in a newspaper or watching tv and I don't think that mil would be fit to look after two of them all day and do all the feeding and changing and entertaining thats required. Theres days that I am knackered doing it and i'm used to it. It's ok maybe one baby but two is a lot of work. Just wondering what others would do. I am going to go back to work in some capacity. It's just whether to do three or four days. I'm also thinking that if I done four then thats practically full time and would I end up doing five days work in four days but not be paid for it? Help?

Hello there,

Has your dh spoken to his parents about this or is he just asduming they will look after tthem? They may well say they di not feel up to it!

I am still on mat leave with my twins but used to do 3 days between dc1& dc2 and thought it was the best of both worlds as I had 2 full days to do stuff with dd1 and 3 days among adults! I didnt get much left over every month, but it was still worth it to

1. Keep a foot in the working world (much more difficult to get back in after a long break)
2. Get me out of the house and nit talk feeds and nappies for 3 days saved my sanity!

Agree with your points re 4 days vs 3. Have you told dh about your reservations with his parents looking after the kids? Would that go down well if your parents are doing one day? (would he think you're leaving them out?)

Good luck with your decision!

I'd be wary of you in laws having them if they aren't really up to it as it is such hard work looking after two toddlers! If you can afford 3 days do it

Also if your twins are anything like mine they will be poorly a few times in your first few months at work and its easier to juggle this if only working 3 days, assuming your workplace would let you switch days occasionally

If they are both really old then I doubt they'd be able to keep up with them once the children are mobile, our two are extremely fast on their feet. Do you know why DH is volunteering his parents when you have been considering yours?
3 days a week working suits us fine but you'd need to look at your finances to see what you can afford, especially if you get let down by in laws.

Thanks for all your replies ladies. My parents have said from the start that they are prepared to come to our house one day a week and look after the girls. DH has suggested that maybe his parents would suggest that they would look after them for one day a week nearer the time I am due to go back to work. I think though they are happy to pop over on occassion and coo over them but don't want any of the work that goes with looking after them. Both early seventies and in good health but have always been old even when they probably weren't. Fil likes to moan and complain about everything but physically there is nothing wrong with him. Going to view nurseries this week for hopefully one day a week. Doing the sums doing 3 days a week probably won't leave much left over but probably worth it to get out of the house and have adult company and conversation. If others can do it and survive I'm sure that we can to.

Look at how much tax/proper take-home money you'll pay doing 4 days - depending on how much you earn/commuting costs, there's a point where you might well earn very nearly the same doing 3 days DS you would 4 days.

I would go with the one that have already made the commitment ie yours. Sounds like DH hasn't really thought it through as I'm seeing the word "suggest" too many times for it to be a definite commitment to childcare.

I don't think looking after twins is that hard but it's all I've ever known. My mum says she doesn't know how I do it even though she had my brother too so be very aware of being let down when people realise they can't do it anymore.

Hi
I worked a three day week after my first, but had to go up to four days for a while when she was two. I loved the three day week, but did not like the four day week. Maybe this was cus I was pregnant with twins by then and knackered, but mostly it was cus the balance of childcare was then with the nursery not me and I felt it was tiring for DD1 to be away from home that many days. Working three days was also great cus I looked forward to going to work on tuesdays and looked forward to being with DD1 on Fridays. I did not get too bogged down in office politics and stuff cus I was off to put my mum's head on again. Other mothers I have spoken to also seem to think 3 days is better than 4. When I return after my current mat leave when the twins will be 10mths I am going to a 3 day week permanently and would not have gone back at all if they had made it 4. I quite agree with you that caring for twins is v different from caring for one.

Firstly, finances are an issue but it also depends on what type of career you have and what you intend to do in the future. I work 3 days and wouldn't have it any other way, I always told myself that my twins would be with me / DH more days than they wouldn't! Having said that, its a sacrifice - I have a job where part timers are not really considered for promotion etc - 4 day workers are viewed in slightly more favourable terms - somehow only being out of the office one day a week is less noticeable, but those like me who work 3 days a week are pretty much side-lined.

I also think looking after twins is hard work - not necessarily in the baby stage (although the lack of sleep etc is hard work) but when they're mobile, talking, bickering etc. My mum looked after them for the 3 days I worked when I first went back to work - between 14mths and 24mths - but reluctantly agreed after that it was too much for her when they got to 2 (and she was a really fit 60 year old who loved them more than anything (including me!!). I also think that in-laws are slightly more tricky anyway if you're imposing your views of childcare / routine / food etc on to them. It depends how relaxed you are - I have to admit I was a bit uptight and over-protective as they were premature - which my Mum was prepared to go along with as she'd seen what I'd been through, but my MIL would have been a bit dismissive of all that I think, would have let them have treats / things I wouldn't let them have, wouldn't have stuck to sleep times etc or taken them to the groups I'd taken them to. Its quite a trade off between knowing they're doing you a favour so biting your tongue. It may not be an issue for you, but it definitely was for me!!

I am currently on maternity leave (since 6.5 months) and am expecting another baby due in Nov 2012! Am I entitled to SMP Maternity Pay if pregnant when on maternity leave for the 2nd time from Nov 2012 onwards?
My companys Maternity Policy does not state anything except: 'It's important that you work up to the 15th week before the week in which you expect your baby. If you do not, you will lose your rights to SMP, Unless you are certified as incapable for work.'

From my understanding even thought I am on maternity leave I am still classified as 'employed' by my employer and therefore should qualify for maternity leave. Am I correct?

I would really be gratefull for any help as I'm really confused! Thank you in advance for any help and advice : )