Routine for 9 week old twins?

[Susan1981]

Hi all. I posted elsewhere as I thought I may be developing pnd when my twins were 5 weeks old due to being completely overwhelmed and not knowing how to cope plus they both have reflux and are colicky :(. However they are 9 weeks old now and I am so much better I think due to the fact I threw the rule book completely out of the window. But now Im wondering if Ive done the wrong thing! Typical of me to ask this when things go right but basically Im concerned that twin mums always recommend a good routine and so has my hv but I found it impossible to implement. This is how our day gos-feed when both when one is hungry (tandem bottle feed though) this is between 3-4 hrs usually. Play when awake/smiling. Put down for nap when sleepy if wont settle cuddles :). Theres no set times for anything. At any time of day I usually have a baby in a carrier or do things one handed. The one thing we do have is bedtime routine though bath about 6-7 then top up or full feed at 7 then bed which was working but the last few nights Jamie hasnt settled and has been back down having a cuddle. By following this very very loose and flexible routine if you can call it that we all seem so much happier but I really do wonder if Im making a rod for my own back and should at least try and implement some structure though I may wait until 12 weeks? if so how do you do it? and what are your own routines/how did you do it/what age did you start? Id quite like to pit Jamie down at 7-8 each night though to see if hell setlle as he has been do you think that could work again? Oo Im like a fish out of water swimming on dry land being a mum never mind of twins!

xx

I should add all of this is completely fine with us we love having all day cuddles! but maybe in the long run not a good thing?

Hi Susan, so glad you're feeling a bit better. Our "routine" was always very flexible! I also fed on demand, and when one was hungry also fed the other (otherwise it felt like it never stopped!). We tried a bed time routine at around 8 weeks, and it was a complete failure! So they just went to bed when we did, then 7pm bedtime just seemed to fall into place around 12 weeks (I think!) It wasn't until I started weaning that I could say we had a proper meal & sleep routine going, and even that is flexible - but it works for me (they are now 6.5mths) ! My DSil has 6 yr old twins, and had a very strict routine from day 1, and was shocked when I didn't, but I think you gave to make it work for you, otherwise you feel like you're always failing! If it feels right, don't worry!

Hi Susan,
I was like you at first 'must have routine, must have routine' but that quickly went out of the window mainly because I spend a lot of time looking after the twins on my own. Also I was getting so stressed out and the twins were picking up on that. So I totally chilled out. Now they are 19 weeks and they have settled into their own routine (sort of!). Now they are asleep by 7.30/8pm each night.
Relax and enjoy those cuddles xxx

Hi Susan, I read you're original post and really felt for you. Glad you're feeling a lot happier. I'd agree with the other posters, relax if its working for you. Mine are now 21 months but thinking back I had a pretty relaxed routine, the only "fixed" thing was a bedtime around 7 pm, everything else floated around then. I tried to make sure that I was somewhere I could easily feed the twins when I expected their next feed to be - every 3 / 4 hours, either at home, park or nice cafe. I always feed them both at the same time, especially if they woke in the night. Advice from my SIL who had twins before me was to wake them both up.

As for cuddling Jamie, I wouldn't get too worried. Mine slept relatively easily at nap& bed time, tried to time it around feeds at that age so they got themselves off to sleep. I wouldn't let anyone hold them to sleep, bit anal about it to the annoyance of my MIL but nevermind. I didn't want them to get used to something that I couldn't do with both twins on my own.
If he is sleeping himself some of the time, he can do it and you have something to build on. Try to get him to settle himself, it may not happen all the time but its a start.

Thankyou everyone for the replies. I am definately happier with the way things are. A friend of mine who's opinion I trust advised me to start watching if they have regular nap times I actually think that Jamie will do better in this respect as my other twin Lloyd is such a cat napper and when he actually goes down usually only has about 45 mins rarely longer he wakes up crying and I find it hard to resettle him so he usually ends up in the sling! She also suggested just trying to resettle Jamie a bit longer after his evening bath before bringing him downstairs well I did it last night only had to settle him twice and twice more for his brother and they went 7pm-4am! I was soo chuffed but know tonight could be very different! I feel that there CAN be quite a bit of crying in this house and am absolutely ashamed to admit I dont know what they mean so just try everything. The evenings are the worst until bedtime me and my hubby never eat until late! But were getting there slowly its just very frustrating isnt it?Im happy with the non existant routine but a few things could probably be adjusted if it makes for happier evenings anyway!

Bigjoeent I know what you mean about the mil and in my case its my mum too Im too afraid to say anything (my mil is scary lol!) as they love them so much and have had children whereas I havent but yes youre right that theyve never had twins and could be making things difficult for me on my own! I also do the same thing of making sure I can feed the twins when out but can I ask did you feed them together on your own when out? I have a tandem pram so not sure how to do it but really want to as am fed up of timing outings between feeds or waiting till someone can come with me usually the weekend. If I can do that therell be no stopping me Ill never be home!

Susan I had a side by side pram and they were bottle fed, I have some ready made cartons of milk (I know not BF and v expensive but it suited me) and I just sat in front of them and fed them both at the same time. I didn't do a lot of winding TBH, took them out about half way through and winded them and then carried on. I didn't wind them a lot anyway, and I didn't have too many problems. One twin had reflux so I think I added the powder (can't remember the name) to the bottle before I went out and shook it really well.

At home I propped (spelling?) them up on my knees so that could be an option if you can find a park and take a blanket. Thank goodness its nearly sumer.

Good luck

I kind of do the opposite as at home I sit between the car seats and the winding is the same as you did :) but I always try to catch the sickier twin first! The only thing is the other one screams when you take the bottle from his mouth hes a proper hungry boy lol. Is it the Gaviscon? We have it and loads of it I didnt think it was much help until I ran out and wont be doing that again! They seem to be improving a lot. Id like a side by side when they get a bit older so will be easier feeding them then if they cant hold the bottle which they may be able to by then maybe I can pursuade the hubby to get me one just for solo trips out and feeding session! ha ha he wont be happy to feed my pram addiction though! Im glad its nearly summer too though doubt well get much sun its nicer doing night feeds now though we came home from the hospital in the snow and being dragged from my bed a few times a night (sometimes all night you know?!?) was a MASSIVE SHOCK. Dont think it helped my mood much in the early days. x

Oh they are bottle fed too and I also take the cartons out with us. Formula is expensive but tried BF for a few days and well..it isnt for everyone definately wasnt for me but well done to those that do especially with twins.

I'm another twin Mum who went with the flow! The only thing I would advise is to write things down. It sounds a bit silly, but I never tandem fed mine so I'd make a quick note each time I fed one. My Dd had really bad reflux so I just didn't feel happy feeding them together. I also used ready made formula and never warmed it (terrible Mummy!!) so I could feed each of them much more quickly. I also noted down when I changed a pooey nappy. I think it helped when I was completely frazzled and couldn't remember if twin 1 had had a poo ten minutes or three days ago! Being a Mum to newborn twins is an amazing experience and don't question yourself too much. If you're getting through it and your babies are growing and happy you're doing fine!

Lol at the things we do to make it all work! I do constantly question myself I dont know if its cos I work with health visitors and feel maybe big brother is watching me when obviously theyre not but cant seem to do what I feel is right for me not by the book! Is it naughty not to warm the cartons then? I always give them room temperature they didnt like it at first but are ok with it now. I do warm the feeds at home but only cos I erm...(whispers)make them in advance and store them in fridge for no longer than 24 hrs as guidelines suggest but do not advise! So I am a very naughty mummy and if big brother really were watching me I would be in trouble! Sorry to those who dont approve though :(. I do start the day by writing some things down but then forget why I was doing it ha ha!

Hi Susan,

For what it's worth, here is my routine (12 week old twins), which we had from about 8 or 9 weeks onwards. Please note that the sleep times are targets, as surprise surprise the twins don't always do what mummy or the book has in mind ;)

I feed them one after the other, btw. They are bottlefed.

6/7 feed
playtime, ca 1 hour nap downstairs (they sleep very differently, so my DS normally sleeps much less than my DD)

10/11 feed
2 1/2 hour sleep in nursery

2/3 feed
playtime, ca 1 hour nap downstairs

5:30 bath (sometimes I bath both together, sometimes one first and then the other just before her feed, depending on whether my DH is around to help)

6/7 feed

10/11 feed

currently waking up around 3 and 4 respectively, just settling them with dummy (no idea if this is right, but I have another thread to ask for advice on this).

joesgirl. I couldnt fidn the thread but would really love to know others opinion on the dummy settling? Do they settle then? If so Id say go for it but from my 2 I think if theyre hungry a dummy wouldnt work anyway? It must be really hard trying to implement a routine in this way and you must have amazing willpower! Are you making any progress? Tho I am happy with the way things are Id be stuffed when I go back to work this way but theyll be much older then.

hi susan

my twins are 21 months. apart from gina ford, i think the books all say 4-6 months is rhe time to implement routines.

i found this to be true. i managed to get my dd3 in a rountine at 4 months but it took a lot longer than that with twins. also imo, you can write things down and try to notice patterns and work around that, but i think the patterns are mostly imagined flukes, as they will change a lot.

i have 4 kids and there is no rhyme or reason to them before 4 months ime.
you will just get stressed out trying to stick to it. they are 2 different people with different personalities. my twin girl eats less than her twin brother and can sleep a helluva lot more. i think people make the mistake of seeing them as the same person by trying to feed the same and put them down at the same time, but if one isnt hungry or tired- it aint gonna worj iyswim.

the 1st 6 months was HARD. it was one big breast feed and skeep deprivation nightmare!!! but it gets a lot easier. i would never have advocated having a routine before having twins, as i am a horizontally laid back person- but it is a must.

just snatch as much sleep as possible, accept help and enjoy them until they can sleep through! good luck. x

Hi Susan. i have 6mo twins. . We had a routine in place from coming home from hospital at 1 week old. Used to feed every 3 hours during the day and every 4 at night, then stretched to every 4 hours when they were about 6 weeks old. I mix feed - bf followed by top ups.

My routine from 6 weeks until 12 weeks was almost identical to Joesgirl, except bathtime started at 6pm. We were lucky that our twins slept through the night from 12 weeks old (from 11pm to 6am), and then in the last month or so we've been able to drop the 10/11pm feed too so they go 7/7.

On a good day when everything goes to plan, I've even been able to take baths and cook roast dinners in their nap times. However they don't always follow my rules, and on a bad day like today its pretty stressful! All day today they have napped at different times and I've had to give extra bfs inbetween the 'main' feeds. They've either slept, fed or cried all day. The poor mites are currently teething, weaning and now have colds (as do I) so I will probably be up in the night!

I never tandem bf or ff when out of the house. I either time trips around feeds, take a helper (ie DH, DM, MIL ) or if I have to feed alone I will try to preempt hunger either by giving a quick bf before I leave the house, or wake one up about 15-20mins before their feed is 'due' and feed them one after the other. They take their bottles in less than 10 mins now so usually not a problem. They're also nearly holding own bottles now too!