Help re sleep for 9wk old twins

[claireinmodena]

Hi all,

I'm sure tgi has been done to death but in my curreng sleep deprived state I cant think straight let alone search topics, apologies!

My 9 wk old b/g twins are very fractious in the evening and wont settle until about 12 or 1am.
They then sleep quite well in the morning which is when sometimes I carch up too, but this is just not viable long term as I also have dd1&2 aged 11 and 7 and need to get out in the mirnings for shopping, chores etcs.

The dds go to bed at 8.30pm and I am not sure how to fit the twins around that as from 6pm onwards I am quite busy making dinner, packed lunches, tidy up. I am always on my own until about 9-9.30pm when dh comes back. dd1 will help with twins while I am busy, but it would be so much easier if they were in bed at some point!

I breastfeed them plus top ups as and when needed. For reasons I wont go into now, I can only feed from one breast so tandem feeding is out.

At the moment settling them to sleep involves on and off feeding(one, then the other then back again) rocking, bottles (mostly refused but I always offer in case they're hungry)until eventually they fall asleep in bed with us! Slso dtb seems to suffer from colic and often has crying fits of tge pulling legs to chest variety.

I have coped so far, but now I think I need some steucture! Especially for dd2's sake who is suffering for lack of attention. Besudes, dh will have to do some work travel soon and I'd love to have this sorted so I dont need to have my mum/mil come and stay.

Sorty if long, I hope it makes sense, thanks everyone!

Hi claire.

Sorry this won't answer your question but it might rsassure you that it's not just you. My b/g twins are nearly 8 weeks and are so far from going down in the evening it's untrue. I see people refer to the 10/11pm feed as the dream feed - not in our house, they are still wide awake!! Ds in particular is really fractious after his 7pm feed and basically cries nonstop until 11pm. Sometimes some cluster BFing helps, sometimes not. There's no point putting them down in the nursery as one of us would spend all evening running up and down the stairs, so we've got pretty good at eating a cold dinner one handed! After the 11pm feed It then takes them both a couple of hours to settle, eventually falling asleep at about 1am and waking again around 3am for another feed. Dd often then grizzles for the rest of the night.

Like you, mine will sleep for an hour or so after their 7am feed in bed with me. As these are my only children this is ok, but I want to get out of this habit as I'm sure this must be contributing to their lack of sleep in the evening. But when every hour of sleep is precious it's really hard to give it up!

I've been looking at other threads and am hanging on to the hope that at some magical point at about 12 weeks they will start going down in the evening. I'm also considering whether the 7pm feed should be a ff - currently the 11pm feed is the only ff of the day, partly so they sleep for longer and partly so dh can feed them and I can sleep. But perhaps a ff earlier in the eve might help them settle.

Again Rory this is no help, and good luck!

X

Oops, who is Rory?!, meant sorry, stupid computer.....

Hi Claire! This a quick post my girls are 13 weeks now (I also have DD 2 yrs). I can't do a full post but just wanted to say that things have changed dramatically since a month ago. Mine started going through a few weeks ago. The main changes were more structured feeding times in the day- they are ff so every 3/4 hrs and moving them into their own room. This may not work for all but did for us.
Hang in there ladies xx

Hello twinnie and mummy thanks for the replies!

Things are slightly better in that they at least tend to sleep 11-3ish then til 7ish, so I get two good blocks of sleep, if you can call 3 hrs at a time that, but it is an improvement. I have bern trying to get up in the am, but they just sleep anyway, wether we're at home or out especially dtg

Funny how boys always seem to have more tummy probs than girls! A friend has just brought me some infacol from the uk (I'm in Italy) and am trying that when I can remember to give it to him, stupid sleepdeprived brain!!

I have also tried to put them diwn around 8, and sometimes they sleep 30-60 mins, (before starting the crying dance again). It gives me a chance of eating, tidying up before the witching hr hits!! I find all the crying especially hard and dh is never home before 9/9.30, so I am often on my own tryong to soothe two crying babies.

I am also waking them up for feeds during the day if they go longer than 3 hrs. Hopefully all this will help, i am pinning lots of hope on the 12wk mark, (this is also when the older dds got better as they found their rhumb and started selfsoothing, bliss!!) two more weeks to go....

Hi Claire

Just wanted to say hang in there! At 12 weeks my twins started going down at 8.30 (having previously been cluster feeding until 10pm) and now at 14 weeks they've suddenly started going down by 7.30 with no fuss.

I think starting a bath/feed/bed routine has really helped. The bath seems to tire them out and they go to bed still awake but just drift off to sleep.

Good luck.

Hi - I was at a low ebb at 9 weeks but from then until 12 weeks their bedtime just got earlier until we hit 7pm (6pm bathtime) pretty regularly. 8pm was (and still is) a bad night normally caused by illness, teething or bad day sleeping. So I can only say hang on in. I think a bath/feed/bed routine helped us but it probably helped me more than them. And I tried to get them out for a walk each day in the hope that fresh air would magically tire them out. Again, more for my benefit I think.

My 11 week old twins were also really fussy in the evenings till I gave them a strict bath bottle bed (sorry not b/f so I know its not the same really) routine at 7pm. It still wasnt great though and ds2 was ending up back downstairs with us till my trusted friend suggested if they were still a bit fussy (they were)to make the bedtime even earlier. They are now bathed about 5.15, fed in the bedroom with lights low and quiet music (for my sanity if nothing else) and little bit of shushing and rocking. Down, sleepy but awake by 6.30 if I can. It really works! They have been sleeping 6.30-2ish (I dont dream feed) most nights and then unfortunately do wake about 5 but have just got a blackout blind and hope that helps. The other thing is if they wont settle we shush/pat some more and they go back down. I dont want to get ahead of myself as I know how much things can change. you wont know yourself if you get your evenings back(eg I spend lots of time on mn talking about my kids-or looking up louboutins on ebay and shouting fake whilst my hubby snores in front of the sports channels)! It must be hard with other children though so maybe agree on who sees to twins/who sees to everything else and just enjoy a late dinner if you can stay awake. Also when you are as busy as you are maybe skip the bath now and again and just top and tail they still get the message bless them. Good luck.

also I meant to say I know you said oh/dh gets in later but can the packed lunches and stuff wait till then? maybe then you could see to the children do a later dinner and when he gets in he could do those other jobs whilst you slug a large wine a cup of tea.

thank you all for the advice. I am actually waiting for the magical 12 weeks to arrive!!

actually things have started improving already, and dtb went down at 9pm last night even though he was awake (but quiet) for a good half hour before falling asleep. Unfortunately his sister is still irrationally attached to 11pm falling off, but one step at a time hey! At least she doesn't scream in pain as he normally does at that time. I have started giving him Infacol which I think is helping.

I agree with bath,feed, bed routine, (always did it with dd1&2) but I find it hard to follow that every night with four children, as it means I can be out of sight for a couple of hours and I don't think its fair on dd1&2. Which is why I end up giving last feed in the living room while dds watch tv.

Susan you are right about doing certain jobs later (would amke sense) but I find after a certain hour and especially if I have spent hours rocking/feeding til my nipple falls off/soothing 2 babies I just can't contemplate doing anything else, I ahve to ahve everything tidy before I face the witching hour or I keep thinking about what needs to be done and stress and then I try to rush the twins, and this can only make things worse. Once everything else is taken care of I can if push come to shove, go to bed with them, feed/soothe alternatively til they succumb!

thanks again!!

(will update in a couple of weeks, for sure)

I just joined mumsnet after reading this thread. I have 9 wk id twin boys and this describes my last three evenings. Great advice on routines - tomorrow we're starting the bedtime routine early! Claire - please do update, I hope things are improving for you x

Hi, I have a few ideas that might help you . I Dont have twins but could the girls help you with bath time ? Could you give the babies their bath first and then the girls theirs ? Or the younger dd and the babies at the same time ? Could you prepare the dinner at some point during the day so that it is easier at night ?When dh is there at wknd batch make a couple of things for the week? I dont know if it would work for you but i do know that some people batch make sandwiches and freeze them for the week. The girls should be old enough to get their other snacks, juices etc for the boxes which would help you . It will get better.

homeaway

thanks for the suggestions, I already do some of the things you mention like making dinner earlier during the day (if I manage and I am not out for activities with the dds).
The older girls tend to have 2/3 baths a week and they do it by themselves, they're quite good at it, but they take hours! (so I do have to hurry them up!)
I suppose I could get them more involved with the lunch bags, but they do do a lot already, like setting the table, clearing their own plates and putting in dishwahser, they take themselves to bed prepare clothes for the day after, pe kits etc. Sometimes it feels like I am asking too much (but most of this stuff I used to ak even before I got pregnant with the twins). Mother guilt and all that, just gets worse the more kids you have

Things are getting a bit better though, hello Iklewoowoo, here's your update:

the frantic colicky crying has definitely got better, I have started giving Infacol to dtb who was suffering terribly with colic, and he is soooo much better. They still do cluster feed a bit, but more from 7-8pm to very latest 11pm.

Some days one or both are asleep by 9ish which is great! And they go longer at night, at least one big stretch of 5-6 hrs and then 4ish so not too bad either. They still sleep lots in the morning hence late bedtimes, and I do wake them up every 3 hours during the day, but they often feed just a little and go back to sleep immediately...

We still do not have a proper routine, but I try to do top and tail (when not bathing) around7ish and put them in their baskets even if it means picking them up only half an hour later...hopefully they will get the message!

Curious to know how is it working out for you, hope you had an improvement too. Mine were 12 weeks today, I can't believe how fast it's gone!!!