Going out with twins, does it get easier??

[Star18]

Really down just now as I seem to be stuck in the house unless going for a walk now and again in buggy. Have tried numerous times to meet up with friends in child friendly places such as soft play etc however all they do is cry and really gets me stressed!!!

My twins are 6 months now and I always get smiles, babbling etc but whenever we go to visit someone or go out somewhere they always turn into monsters. Have seen me meeting up with friends and come home after a couple of hours not having spoken a word to them due to seeing to the boys and think what was the point.

Not got twins but have a 2.3 yr old and an 8 month old.

If you're getting out at all you should feel successful .

It does get a little easier when they'll play together. Ds was probably just over 1 when he started chasing after the bigger kids at soft play.

If you need some good chat time though, can you leave them with your dp/dh/mum/sitter and meet friends for an hour or 2 in the evening. Or if they nap, invite people round then (assuming you don't sleep then too).

Not much help, but I sympathise. Dd is 8 months now and just crawling so soft play for eg. is a wee bit easier as she doesn't need me so much to stimulate her. Probably only 90% of the time.

Try to be kinder to yourself. You're doing great!!

Have you tried taking a helper with you- I know it makes things less spontaneous (ach, bad spelling!) but maybe another friend/ doting grand parent/ family member who would mind them there whilst you chat? Or have you tried getting a HomeStart volunteer- they would do just that....

God, mine are the opposite. Can be total meltdown at home, we go out and they turn on the adorable switch. Nobody believes me when I say it's quite hard work!

Do you have a local childrens centre? Whenever I go to ours the staff swoop in to grab both one of mine do I can chat to other mums a bit more easily.

Have you tried taking a helper with you- I know it makes things less spontaneous (ach, bad spelling!) but maybe another friend/ doting grand parent/ family member who would mind them there whilst you chat? Or have you tried getting a HomeStart volunteer- they would do just that.... I know just how essential it is to get out. My HomeStart lady kept my twinnies busy when I went to meet friends at a softplay place, my older DD ran around with her pals and I had a lovely long natter and came home happy as Larry!
I hope you can get some satisfying social downtime- you really deserve it! X

Thanks for taking the time to reply, was feeling really down earlier!! I'm a single parent so it is difficult at times but have them in a great routine, just getting fed up of little or no adult conversation. I do try and speak to friends when boys are in bed but by that time I need to tidy up and get organised for the next day, not to mention being absolutely knackered and wanting my bed also lol.

I usually have someone else with me i.e. friend that I'm meeting but boys are going through a strange phase just now and the lip comes out and they start to cry at the look of someone they haven't seen for a while or someone new, my friends reassure me that it's fine and not to worry etc but I do. They are also crying at anything and everything just now (loud noises etc) that's why I want to take them to different places to get used to new surroundings. I suppose most kids go through this phase and just hope it gets better. I just don't want to hold them back and I'm hard on myself if I don't manage to get them out somewhere every couple of days even if it is just a walk, run in the car, visit to family member for an hour. Can't help that they are teething at the moment I suppose. They don't cry when out in buggy so might just stick with that just now. Sorry for going on and probably thinking out loud.

I think 6 months is a particularly tough stage for that. Walks etc. were fine but meeting anyone was tough unless there were a lot of extra pairs of hands around. One always cried or needed feeding or changing and just getting them into the buildings wasn't easy. I found it a lot easier when they could sit up well so you could use high chairs. Plus they got more interested in food which would distract them for longer. They'd also sit on a mat together and play for a bit which gave me a bit of a breather.

I think it's one of the hardest things with twins.

Hi - I found 6 months a really hard time. It has got better (mine are now 10 months) and I will take them to a lot more places for longer periods of time. They are much more interested in other babies and children (started at about 8 months) and sitting in high chairs isn't such a palaver. They are also having snacks rather than bfs which was a nightmare with two when out.

However, I still avoid soft play as mine aren't crawling -they don't get much out of it and I find it quite hard to protect them both from over-friendly toddlers. I find other people's houses, cafes, parks and parent/baby sessions at SureStart the easiest things to handle.

I also found the easiness of the day was linked to the amount of sleep I had had - its much easier to get out if you have some energy.

You are doing well just to get out at all - and I'm sure you will find it easier over the next few weeks and months.

Hi Star18, I echo most of the mums here who say you are doing well to get out, you are trying to do the best for your babies! Its tough at that age, I went to a twinclub literally 10mins away, and still found it hard as they need a lot of attention and start to get a bit clingy too. But, as time goes on it does get easier - sure i had a lots of 'moments' whilst out and about with them, like forgetting a certain cuddly or comforter, or realising i didnt have any nappies/wipes, or them just crying and crying and people looking at meblush! Ultimately though you have to remind yourself that youre a twin mum and its really hard work, especially if youre a single mum, BUT it does improve I promise.
It may be an idea to try a mother and toddler group, but dont force yourself, I wasnt really a joiner in either. You will find your own way, keep going and the more you do it, the more they and you will get used to it. Good luck and keep reading the mumsnet posts, theyve helped me lots!:)

Thank you for all your replies, I don't feel so bad now :) I think I may have been expecting myself to be superwoman by now and have to realise that will never happen!!