Double buggy discrimination

[toomuchpink]

As I have now been turned away from the two nicest cafes on our high street - one of which was virtually empty - I wondered if anyone else had encountered the same problem. I wouldn't mind if someone came over and said: "I am really sorry, but we have not got room for the buggy just now." But last week one cafe owner just looked at me and said: "You'll struggle." Today, at a different venue, they shouted at me from behind the counter as I opened the door: "No more buggies." Although there were a couple of other single pushchairs inside, there was hardly anyone else in the place, so plenty of room. It meant I could not join other mums I know for a chat and made me feel even more isolated/ different. Am I being over-sensitive? Is this a common issue?

Personally I self-select to a certain extent (we have an out n about). There's one cafe in a shopping centre very near to us which has outside seating with tonnes of room so I often go there. The last time I went inside as it was too cold to sit in the bit where the doors open and they asked me if they could move it half way through our coffee when I had dt1 on my knee. I smiled and said there was still a baby in the buggy and they just asked me to rearrange it.

There's another nicer lunch place I go to which is quite quiet at lunch and they've always been helpful about moving tables to get the buggy through but I deliberately go there because I know they are more concerned with my business than the buggy. There are a number of places I just can't be bothered to try because the buggy will take up too much room or can't get through.

People being generally unhelpful or grinning as you try to struggle with doors etc is normal and you have to grin (and curse them inwardly). One response to "you'll struggle" is to smile and say "not if you help me". If they are that rude when you open the door (and the 2nd sounds very rude) then don't bother going in as they won't serve you although you could start spreading rumours about food poisoning in connection with the establishment.....

It's very important to meet people and get out. I try and arrange at least 2 outings a week if I can, either cafe, restaurants or people's houses. I'd love to go to a twins club but we're still on the waiting list:( despite dts being nearly 6 months now. Try and do this. It doesn't matter if they only have 1 baby - all the more reason they can take a twin from you.

I would recommend M&S cafe. Inside so you stay warm, no doors to deal with, plenty of space to move chairs around to accommodate your buggy, colouring books and crayons, loads of high chairs and baby change usually next door - oh and lovely M&S cakes!

I'm a weekly customer!

Don't you hate the why didn't you get a tandem/phil n ted comments? I've had about 3 this week.

We have the out n about too. I think it is great. Just cafe owners that need to adjust!

I never had a side by side because of the width issue of pavements/shops etc. It can be tricky trying to manoeuvre a longer tandem around too. I don't think the P&T are great for twins anyway due to the way the weight of the children being stacked vertically. I never had a problem with kerbs and the PowerTwin but I really noticed the difference with the p&t.

hi there have you considered a single and a sling works a treat
g

But the p&t has one suitable from birth seat and one from 6 months so what are you meant to do for the 1st 6 months or more if prem?

I find slings uncomfy now for more than 10 mins and definitely for fast uphill walking

Carrycots? I had a tandem though, just long rather than wide. I also hated slings and since I used to walk 5 miles a day with them, no way wa I doing this with a sling.

Another that does the self selection, bhs cafes are very spacious, M and S is great for old dears to entertain dts while I drink my coffee, independent Italian coffee shop for fantastically helpful staff who even carried my double up 2 flights of stairs as there was no room on the ground floor.

Avoid Starbucks and costa like the plague as very crowded and chairs are awkward to move out of my way.

Hate tandems, far too heavy to push and steer once the newborn phase is over and the p and ts are too pricy for me.
I have a cheap and cheerful sliver cross double that isn't that much wider than some single pushchairs.

I wish it was just cafes, you can just not go! In my local town, both the bank and post office are impossible to get a double buggy into. You would have thought that there was legislation in place; my pushchair is the same width as a wheelhail

How big are these buggies?

Surely if they fit through a normal doorway then they can't discriminate?

Some of the side by sides don't fit. Not one single one, at the end of 2007 when we got our buggy, fitted through our front door so they were immediately off our list. The PowerTwin wasn't that much longer than the standard Jane really but I would say getting around Cafe Rouge, Caffe Nero was tricky but I was never asked to leave it or leave a place either.
It did me for 3 years, can't say it was ever too heavy to push or steer, unless going up the 1 in 10 hill to get home!

Thingamajig and bread, that's what always makes me wonder. My double is the same width as my Nan's wheelchair and if I struggle, how on earth would she manage?

It's not always the doors- if they are double I open both, but the over crowding of the aisles in stores that stops me going in places.
Ironically, mothercare is the worst and they have the bloody doubles on display! Could they not take one for a whizz around the store to check that a chunk of their target Market can actually use their stores?

My sister, who doesn't drive, has a lot of problems getting around as the local buses won't let her on, unless its folded, which is impossible, when she's on her own with a 2 month old ds and 16 month old dd.