to mums of multiples, is there anything you wished you knew when you were pg, that could have helped you in some way?

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BonnyBanks · 27/11/2011 23:44

That it would all be fine. Hard, hard work (esp first 6 months) but fine!

You will cope. They will be adorable.

Ps do get hold of that book I recommended on your other thread (Mothering Multiples by Karen Kirk Gromada)

WeddingGirl · 28/11/2011 03:17

Get as much sleep as you can now!!

PeelingmyselfofftheCeiling · 29/11/2011 17:47

That when they say they might come early... They mean it! (delivered at 30 weeks, middle of huge work contract, half the house a building site, dh abroad...)

AcrosstheUniverse · 29/11/2011 18:16

I agree with WeddingGirl. I stupidly thought I would be able to sleep more after my twins were born as I was soooo uncomfortable, heartburn, sickness etc keeping me up in the night.... makes me laugh now of course, my twins are 6 months now and still very little sleep for me and my DH! The lack of sleep is a shocker, hits you like a train but you do get used to it and twins are just fabulous really!

Etwinkles · 30/11/2011 03:44

I agree with Peeling... Be prepared for them to arrive early! I became increasingly convinced that I was going to go full term and that the babies' estimated weights from the scans were accurate (they were a couple of pounds under what we thought). As a result I was very unprepared for SCBU. My biggest surprise was having to express colostrum by hand... Painstakingly collecting minute amounts in a tiny syringe and it being agony. No-one ever even hinted at that in ante natal classes! I thought you could use a breastpump from the beginning but apparently not... With hindsight I wish I had asked to see the SCBU facilities while pregnant and crucially, asked about their care policies. I assumed for example that things like kangaroo care and breastfeeding would be encouraged but special care nurses seem to be a different breed and didn't like us to 'disturb' the babies. I reckon if I had assumed they would definitely be in SCBU after being born it would have been easier to deal with and anything else would have been a bonus!

Also, one of the most fun things is the complete overreaction by strangers when you are out in public with them. I've had people literally shrieking into the pram. It's quite incredible and reinforces my belief that I really do have two of the most gorgeous little girls in the history of the world!

Melindaaa · 30/11/2011 07:12

I didn't find two much harder work than one tbh. However, mine have always slept well having spent so long in NICU when they were born. I also didn't breastfeed them so someone else could help with feeding.

Now they are moving around I find life much more tiring than when they were babies. They don't walk, but are too big to carry two together like I did when they were babies. They can destroy a room in two seconds flat now, whereas when they were babies they were happy to sit propped up watching the world go by.

PeelingmyselfofftheCeiling · 30/11/2011 07:39

Sorry to hear of your experiences Et, did what it's worth we did a NICU tour and discovered our unit was pro bf which helped a little. I know what you mean about Do not disturb though. I also did express straight off with a pump, which I think was unusual listening to other mums on the unit, and not as advised as hand expressing, but worked for me as the pump never gives up!

WeddingGirl · 30/11/2011 08:37

I think another useful thing is to find out about any support networks near to you, twins groups etc. I started going to one when my twins were 6 weeks old, and luckily they are very good babies (also babies number 2 & 3 which I think makes it easier), but if I had been having a hard time, particulary when your DP has to go back to work, I think having some one else to talk to in the same situation would have been invaluble. Also, make sure you know you can ask for help - with DD1 I felt I wanted to do everything myself, otherwise would be a failure, bad mother etc ...... with twins I felt the same, but i've had to realise that i can't do everything on my own. But I think one of the hardest things for me was admitting it. It is such a special thing to be a twin mummy (and as Et says the reactions of other people is wonderful), but get used to the idea if asking for help early on!!

Original poster

CarrieInAnotherTWOBabiTWINS · 30/11/2011 12:17

Thanks for all your advice I'm starting to get my head around the twin thing now.

OP posts:

AcrosstheUniverse · 30/11/2011 13:31

Also, if there isn't a twin group near you, your health visitor may be able to put you in touch with other twin mummies. Mine did and it has been fantastic, and I have made a couple of good friends from this. I have found that having someone to talk to who is in the same postion invaluable. It really does help.

Good luck and hope it goes well!

DW123 · 04/12/2011 18:38

Agree with all of the above although I went to 40 weeks. Wish I had harassed the hospital more about their policy. SCBU was an unpleasant shock. Technically pro bf but it was tough with one baby with me in maternity and a secure lift in between.
Wish I had booked a cleaner for the last 2 weeks of pregnancy amd first 8 weeks. I've had to adjust expectations and accept I can't do everything other people with one baby do, which is when it helped to talk to twin Mums. On the flip side I've learnt faster and been more relaxed about it all.

BendyBob · 04/12/2011 18:45

Be nice to yourself. I was very hard on me and thought I wasn't managing well enough when I was actually doing pretty well looking back.

Accept all help offered but make sure you control that help so that it helps you.

Plenty of people want to hold babies and do the fun stuff whilst you slave away on all the other crappy jobs and miss out on the good bits. If people really want to help, don't be shy about asking them to roll up a few sleeves.

kathryn2804 · 05/12/2011 00:01

Find your local twins club

You may not have them early! I always assumed I would but still hadn't gone into labour atso induced at 38+6!

Yes you can breastfeed twins!

Yes you can breastfeed after a c-section (I had one in the end)

Yes they really do need another feed even though they just finished one 15 mins ago!

Accept all help. especially meals! (don't let anyone come to visit unless they bring food or buy a takeaway!) My best friend used to load the dishwasher every time she came round - BRILLIANT! :-)

You will not be able to walk down the street for more than 5 yds without someone stopping you and asking if they are twins

Look forward to all the 'twin' moments. This is extra special because other mummies do not get these. It's useful when you are worrying about giving them enough attention. Remember they have each other too. My favorite was that they used to hold hands when feeding. Still makes my heart melt just thinking about it :-)

RCOR · 14/12/2011 17:31

The one thing I wasn't prepared for was the amount of attention twin babies get. My twins are number 3&4 so was prepared for the work x2 to a certain extent. And having read the twins books thought I was prepared for the twin-ness. However, nowhere did anyone mention the attention. It was quite shocking. People coming out of their way to stop me to admire my boys. Which was lovely in one sense but if you only have 20 mins to do your shop it became very frustrating. Some people would even go out of their way to find their friend/husband/granny to come and admire them too.

The boys are 2.5 now so it's not quite so bad.

Oh....nothing can prepare you for the absolute dog tiredness of being up twice a nite with each baby. But you do get through it.

Best of luck with your pregnancy and enjoy every second of your twins. They are a joy:-)

KateShmate · 14/12/2011 17:43

My triplets were born at 31+5 - they did spend quite a long time in SCBU as 1 had some difficulties. I have to say that the SCBU nurses were so so lovely - and strangely, in our unit they were constantly trying to get me to do kangaroo care!
It was me in the beginning who was a bit hesitant as they were soo teeny and just covered in wires and tubes - I didnt want to pull anything out etc.
As soon as one baby was put back in the incubator after a feed, they promptly stuck another on my chest - if you can, ask to do kangaroo care - its so lovely, and it reassures you that you arent going to hurt them, even though they are tiny!
As others have said - peoples reactions. After spending 8 weeks in special care, I could take 2 babies home - we are in a nice area, yet when just nipping to the shops I would have people shouting at me that my babies are too small and should be kept inside and I was hurting them.. Yet they were 8 weeks old! (Well more like 10 by the time I actually wanted to take them out!)
Will think of more and come back later as said triplets (now 2) are hungry.. again!

sammisatt · 23/12/2011 20:53

I wish I'd known:

That I would cope. Having twins IS manageable.

That I would feel instantly better once the babies come out (post c section was better than the last stages of pregnancy and spd)

That the baby weight would eventually shift (with effort)

That I wouldn't in fact fall apart without an army of helpers (although obviously this would have been ideal)

That I would hate my partner at times due to sleep deprivation.

That sleep deprivation is truly horrific.

That your children won't wither up and die if you feed them formula.

That you will actually love having twins.

Glittertwins · 25/12/2011 07:05

It's not as hard as we thought it would be.
Formula won't kill them.