Are you "Gina Fording" your twins??!

[Janberryxx]

I'm thinking of Gina Fording mine when they arrive in a few weeks. I also have a three year old and can't begin to imagine how I'm going to cope without a good routine! Would you recommend the GF approach? Is it working for you? Anyone with other children too, is GF the answer? How did you/ are you managing?

Hi Jan

I tried at first but as my babies were only just over 4lb I found they needed LOADS more sleep than she says and got myself a bit stressed trying to keep them awake for the first few weeks when they weren't ready. They're now starting to be able to stay awake much longer on their own so I can entertain them a bit whilst they're awake.

I much prefer the Baby Secrets book by Jo Tantum. It's really similar to the Gina F twins book but IMO much better written as it's easier to follow and more flexible. With the Gina F twin book I kept flicking backwards and forwards, highlighting different bits and also the routines for me are completely unrealistic, e.g. times to bath both babies etc, either that or I'm just really slow!!

Now they're both just over 7lb I might try again with more of a routine, although the bits we did right from the start were bedtime in their cot after 7pm feed and also a set afternoon nap after 11am feed.

I did a routine with feeding from the start, feeding both together every 3 hours and moving on to every 4 hours now, but I was able to do this as I wasn't able to breast feed, I think it would be much much harder to do this if breast feeding.

Hope this helps. Good luck :)

I used her book for my triplets (not the twins one but the original one) and was very happy but there is a whole saga about her here on mn. Actually she is referred to as "she who must not be named".

I am sure you will need a routine and a chart. I only know hers and couldn't comment on others'.

Find a routine that suits you. I had DT's and an 18th mth old. We found our own routine and stuck to that.

I chose to feed mine at the same time so they slept at similar times, we bathed the three of them together. Older one in bath then one bathed twin and swapped with partner to dry and dress.

Mostly I did what felt best for us. The local twin club was ace and very helpful.

I used it as a starting point but I bfed on demand and the boys had very different ideas to GF on feeding times and the amount of sleep they needed. The biggest help to me was a day/night routine and a daily walk. Everything worked itself out then changed just when I cracked it... Still working on it. I also found out that I was a complete wuss about crying and couldn't leave them for longer than it took to make a cup of tea so GF wasn't really my style. However I haven't had to make it work with an older child so not sure how helpful that is... Good luck with your babies when they arrive - I hope it goes well.

I thought it was largely excellent but do accept that it's highly likely your twins will need loads more sleep than she says. But the feeding routine worked brilliantly for us, they never seemed to need a feed earlier than 'planned' and it helped me to know exactly when I'd be free to do stuff.

Just to say though, GF does NOT advocate leaving your baby to cry, despite popular MN myth. This is especially true in the early months.

oops - sorry - I didn't mean to be a myth perpetuator (or suggest that GFers are heartless mothers who leave their babies to cry). I missed out a crucial bit of information on my post.... One of my twins had reflux and both of them are hopeless at settling themselves to sleep so just wouldn't go to sleep to any kind of routine in the first few months. In the end I spent about 4 months sitting on the sofa holding a baby until he went to sleep. I'm sure your twins will be more talented than mine at going to sleep....

Just wanted to say, do Gina Ford, but accept that babies have their own innate rhythm, and twins in particular may need more feeds or more sleep, due to being smaller and prem in a lot of cases.
My twins settled into their own routine. I had been given the GF twins book and read it but not followed it. When I compared our routine with Gina's at a few months old, it was identical, except my twins had another feed in the night. Had I been "following" Gina, they would still have wanted that feed, and I would have been unhappy because they still woke, but because I hadn't expected them to do that, it was OK with me.
Good luck with the babies, and commiserations on all the indignities of late pregnancy with twins

If you're planning to breastfeed then don't follow her feeding routines until your milk supply is firmly established. Otherwise you will not make enough milk!

Personally i think it's better to find your own routine. If 3-yr-old is going to pre-school then the twins will have to fit into that routine anyway. they'll end up being fed before you leave, gpoing to sleep in the buggy/car whilst u do the school run, waking for a feed when u get home, napping in car/buggy when u do pick up, feed when get home etc etc! Gina doesn't mention that sort of thing

The other issue I had was 'put your sleepy baby into the cot'. My babies were either wide awake, screaming with tiredness or asleep, never 'sleepy' unless they'd just been fed! Then they were comatosed!!

I just don't understand why a lady who is not a mum and has no health care qualifications should make so much money out of a book which in my opinion does nothing other than make u feel like a bad maother because your babies are not doing what she says they should!

Wow, you can see why she is involved in so many debates on MN! kathryn - it may not have worked for you, or be 'up your street', but there are more ways to go about bf'ing than to feed on demand... I didn't follow her routines, but did follow a similar one in the early days and had no problem at all with my supply.

I really don't think it's helpful to tell people that it definitely won't work if you follow a certain routine, unless you know from experience with a large sample group that it has NEVER worked. Otherwise it's just scaremongering, isn't it?

Without wanting to get into a huge ruckus about it, her way might not be for everyone but actually, it saves a lot of people's sanity. It saved mine. She might not be a mother but she (along with a few other people who have written books on the subject) writes from experience, unencumbered with emotional attachment to the situation - which actually, can be helpful. At no point does she ever suggest that if your babies aren't doing X, Y or Z at certain points that you are being a bad mother!

Agree agree agree. It drives me mad when people slag her off for not being a mum. It's like that dreadful Calpol ad from a few years ago - "if you've got kids then you'll understand". Implying that people who haven't got kids can't comprehend anything to do with parenting is really insulting to their intelligence IMHO. Like you can only be a sports journalist if you've been a sportsman, or an oncologist if you've had cancer.

She's perfectly well placed to advise on ways of caring for children having done it for years. The lack of genetic relationship is neither here nor there ( if it were, presumably adoptive parents couldn't have any knowledge on the subject either?)

Also in my opinion people tend to project hearsay and personal insecurities onto her. I have never read a single statement in her books along the lines that crying children should be ignored, that you should keep babies awake until she says it's OK for them to sleep or that failing to do what she says makes you a bad mother. She's actually pretty careful to say the opposite but it doesn't stop people seeing what they want to see.

I should add I'm not GF nor an acolyte but I do follow her routines and find they work very well. They're not perfect and I have adapted them to suit me, but then I didn't expect motherhood to be a situation where I delegate all problem-solving to someone else who will have all the answers.

OP, if you are attracted to the idea of a routine then I would recommend her approach. Routines aren't everyone's cup of tea, and you should read her with a little pinch of salt at times, but I reckon she has a method that works if you follow the basic principle of consistency in all things as far as possible, and learn to recognise when your babies are tired and need to switch off. It may be a bit much to expect them to fit into it until they are a little older (ours were about 6 weeks) and I found it helpful to introduce it in stages rather than all at once. Good luck.

Excellent post Cerubina.

With hindsight I wish I hadn't tried to force a routine from the start because it left me unable to breastfeed successfully. Ultimately a routine will no doubt save your sanity but when I asked around recently at my local twins club most people had waited until around 3 months to start putting one into place.

My twins are 2 and my first children so I had no experience of babies.
I found Gina Ford fantastic as it gave me a clear understanding of what a routine could/should look like.what I mean by 'should' look like was the structure,I seriously had no idea how to look after a baby let alone two of them!
When they were born I used the routine but adapted it to my dts needs,and I think most people that find Gina Ford successful probably do the same.She doesn't ever claim her way is the only way but I think when you have twins you probably are a bit more in need of a structured day as it can be far too easy to slip into that not getting out if the house etc.
Different strokes though I guess but worked for me,and would certainly recommend A Contented House With Twins as a starting/reference point.

I agree with Etwinkles, and it's the approach I took with my eldest and with my twins. I followed their natural rhythm until they were approx 12 weeks old and then put in a routine, starting with bedtime. I found it worked a treat, and they instantly slipped into the routine with no stress at 12 weeks.

Wow, thanks everybody, fantastic feedback and lots of food for thought! x

I only had the one dd but found gf a God send! And if I did have twins would def be looking to have some sort of routine in place otherwise I can imagine everything would fall into chaos fairly quickly (def in my case!!)

As with everything you need to use common sense and trust your instincts (if you think your baby is hungry but its not 'due' a feed yet then feed your baby!) I like to think of it more of guidelines to try and aim for!!!

Before my twins were born, I was given a copy of the GF twin book and thought "oh that sounds brilliant, we'll do that" .... consequently got my knickers in a bit of a twist at the beginning when my dts were unable to stay awake as long as she suggested, and later when they couldn't stay asleep as long as she suggested!
Having said this, I found it really invaluable as a guide, and we fell into a routine based on hers. Like most people here, I would recommend using it as a guide rather than try to follow the routines to the letter. I also found her information on introducing solids and nutrition in her 'Twins' book really helpful - I've dipped in and out of it throughout my dts first year.
I think you will find far more critisism of GF from people who have one baby at a time, rather than 2 or more all at once!
Congrats and good luck with the rest of yr pregnancy - when are you due?

I know I am possibly a bit late on this but we followed GF loosely. The key things for us were the constant getting up times and constant bed times. We've never ever had sleep problems with them or sleep deprivation for us as they slept through from 8weeks old. Have to say that the days did get monotonous in some respects as they seemed identical but after hearing horror stories about others who didn't do this, I'm glad we stuck with it. They are nearly 4 now.

Some of it is OTT which is why we picked and chose. I'd have never left the house if I'd followed word for word.
Go with what suits your lifestyle