How do you "use" your HomeStart volunteer?

[Janberryxx]

Hi, I have a three-year-old and am seven months pregnant with twins. I applied to HomeStart for a Volunteer and have just has the initial home assessment visit. The woman said that she saw no problem with me being assigned a Volunteer and has someone in mind for me- hurray!!!!
I didn't realise that they don't do housework. As my twins will be newborn and sleep a lot at first(??? You tell me!) I'm not sure how to make the best use of her at first. When the twins are older and want more attention/ stimulus, and I have the energy to want to venture out, I'll have no problem finding ways in which she will be a great asset. Also my older child would be wanting some one-to-one.
All I can imagine at first is wanting someone to watch them while I catch up on sleep- again not what they're there for??? I don't know. Plus I'm not sure how I would feel leaving them with a complete stranger (CRB check or not).
My question is: how did/do you "use" your HomeStart Volunteer, especially in the early days?

I am training to be a HomeStart volunteer and we have to have an enhanced CRB check - just so you know

No offence intended, QueenOfFlaming. Perhaps I'm just overanxious. I could never bring myself to leave my firstborn with a childminder, the same angst kicking in......I'm a bit paranoid I suppose!

JB you have to remember that you won't be 'leaving' them as such. You will always be in the home with them. Unless it is in very exceptional circumstances (requiring prior consent from Home-Start) you are not able to leave your children with the volunteer. Nor is the volunteer able to take your children out without your being there.
As Just says, they can look after the children whilst you catch up on practical work, have an hour to yourself (so you can take a bath in peace!), or just have a cuddle with one just to take the pressure off you.
Volunteers act as a support for you, and you will have agreed some action points with the organiser who came to visit you today.
The reason why volunteers don't do housework etc, is that the idea is to help support you in finding ways of coping yourself. Whilst doing it for you would be great in the short term, it may not necessarily help you in the long run.
Hope that helps a little.

never got given one

Like Just and PiedPiper I used ours so that I could catch up on washing up, laundry or just general tidying up. Sometimes I even used the time to catch up on some sleep which was a godsend. Our volunteer ended up becoming like a member of our extended family and even though she is not our volunteer anymore we still see her around once a week and the kids love her.
At first, I was dubious about the difference a couple of hours a week would do, but to be honest at times it was an absolute lifesaver. Our volunteer played with the kids, and after a while once we had got to know each other she helped me take them swimming (not all volunteers do this and ours didnt come in the pool but helped get the wet one dressed and dry while I was in the pool with the other). We would also spend time chatting which was a real supprot to me and we would talk through different options when we were weaning them, or trying to get them to settle in their cots at night, etc.
Having said that, it all depends on what you feel is right for you and your little ones.
Hope

sorry - meant to say - hope this helps! hit post too soon!

I am a Homestart volunteer and a mum of twins. Most of the families I have supported in the last 10 years have had twins (or triplets).

Contrary to what PiedPiper says, I have done the following (often);

Helped with housework, usually alongside mum whilst new babies slept (a messy/dirty house can be a huge cause of stress). I've often done a pile of ironing whilst mum and twins slept.

Looked after babies whilst mum went out to GP appt, physio appt, or just to the supermarket.

Taken babies/toddlers out in buggy/to the park so mum has some time to herself.

As far as I'm aware I've broken no rules, indeed all these activities have been reported to my area organiser via my diary sheets.

My guess is that mum's are told that volunteers don't do housework/babysit because there are some people who would abuse this situation. As far as I'm concerned my role is to support the family by mucking in and doing what ever helps to relieve stress and worry, be that tackling a pile of dirty dishes, or having a long chat over a cup of tea.

Janberry, I suggest you play it by ear. Wait to meet your volunteer and then be as open as possible about the ways she can support you (these will of course change as your babies get bigger).

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, and I hope the Homestart "experience" is helpful for you.

I was assigned a lady who used to look after my 3 kids when I had to go to councilling sessions for birth trauma. After the councilling ended she still supported me for a few months afterwards (had severe PND). She used to take the older 2 to the park while I had some quiet time with the baby or we used to take the youngest two to messy play while my eldest was in school. She was so nice, she came around a few times a week for about a month before my councilling started as dd2 was bfed and wouldn't take a bottle. She helped me get her used to a bottle (she wouldn't take one off me but would take a bottle with Sue) so I would feel ok leaving her for the 1.5 hours that I was out for.

Sorry to jump in but how do you get a volunteer / qualify for one? We've just taken on a cleaner as I have 10 wo twins and a 3.5yo. We can't really afford a cleaner but with no local family I needed help so we're doing it for 6 months and using mat pay but once that ends I'm not returning to work. No-one has mentioned any support available to me.

Piedpiper and Soda1234 are both right in a sense.

I was a volunteer for a long time and at first you are not supposed to go and do housework. However, once you have got to know the family, it does no harm to pitch in when needed. Same with taking the children out - locally, with H/S and parent consent, and with contact numbers. But you would have to feel comfortable and know the family and children very well by then to do it.

Princess, are you struggling emotionally and practically? This is what H/S support is for -parents who are finding life quite difficult with very young children as well as balanxing other aspects of life. If so, the refer yourself to your local branch or speak to your Dr or HV who can refer you.

www.home-start.org.uk/needsupport/need_support

Try here PrincessScrumpy. We have a volunteer who comes for 2 hours a week and takes our twins out in the buggy for a nap. She doesn't do anything else though but it does give us some one to one time to be with ds1.

Many thanks to everyone for your posts. I think my Volunteer is going to make a huge difference and help to keep me from going under! It's great to hear from H/S vounteers too , thanks ever so much for your input!

Mine was a nice woman but I was her first ever gig and the first thing she said was that she didn't do childcare or housework. I gave her a twin to feed whilst I fed the other and she seedbed ok with that. It would have been FAR mire helpful if she could have come up with a single suggestion of what she was prepared to do. As I got to know her, she said she would watch the kids whilst I went for a shower, or take the eldest for a walk, and that was useful, but TBH it was an additional strain finding things she was prepared to do. She also finished at 12:30. Not 12:31. And would stop dead whatever she was doing, put her coat on and go. She'd obviously had guidelines about how things should be done and stuck to them with astonishing rigidity.

We've had ours for a couple of years and she's done more as we've got to know each other better. The children getting to know/like/trust her has really helped too. She takes my youngest to playgroups/activities, does one of the school runs, feeds whoever I ask her to feed, plays with whoever needs playing with, helps with bath/bedtime, clears the kitchen, empties bins, has been known to run the hoover round..... Anything reallly. She's a godsend. Happy for me to go out to appointments, spend time in one of ds's schools, do diy, catch up on housework etc and leave her to it. Gives me one day of sanity a week! Will miss her when the time comes for her to move on - which it will.

A couple of YEARS? OMG! I got mine once a week for 2 hours, for 10 weeks! How did you get to keep her for so long? Jealous!

I sit and chat to mum whilst her twins sleep! Sometimes we go to toddler group together but mostly she is coping fine with the smalls but its her alone that needs extra support, emotionally, etc.

I used to go to baby clinic with another famiy whilst babies got weighed and we saw the HV etc. Hth

Mrsmaltesers, I really really hope you take this in the manner with which it's intended, but next time both her twins are asleep, please stop talking and send the mum to bed. Seriously. Don't chat. If she says she doesn't want to/isn't tired, she is lying through her teeth. Bed.

Lol, am not offended!! Her twins are 18 months and sleep through so mum isnt tired at all. If mum wanted to go to bed she would definitely though.

had mine once a week for a year (was told they phase them out adfter 1 year...)

She was nice - she came played / cuddled twins and drank tea - I would have loved her to take them for a walk or swimming with me but she wasn't interested in much except cudderling newborns :(