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Multiple births

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help re year old twins

13 replies

harrogatemum · 08/12/2005 21:25

Hi Multiple Mums I need help. The DTs have been (mainly) wonder sleepers since 4 months. About 3 weeks ago they turned 1 and they just will not sleep at night anymore. I work 4 days a week and am absolutely exhausted. One of them will wake regularly at around 11.30pm and scream until we put them in bed with us. sometimes the other one will then wake up. If one stays asleep for the whole night the other one will definitely wake up. I am at the end of my tether with it and need some wise words. I cant leave them and do controlled crying because it wakes the other one up. I am shattered but even then cant sleep at night as my mind races so much. Xmas is coming and i have to bloody well cater for my family who dont seem interested in paying for anything. Sorry for going off the topic but have just had enough and the babes waking up at night is just the last straw.

OP posts:
maZebraltov · 08/12/2005 21:40

teething? Have you tried a normal dose of Calpol at bedtime?

Can your DTs come down with a phantom case of measles and bad headlice a few days before Xmas so you can cancel the catering...? Maybe you could casually mention a bedbug infestation in all the rooms, too....

harrogatemum · 09/12/2005 12:04

good plan re the bedbug infestation!! But my mother already thinks I am a slovenly housekeeper (maybe because thats because I have to work for a living!!) so it would just confirm her fears!!

I have tried Calpol but it doesnt seem to make any difference to the waking in the night.

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throckenholt · 09/12/2005 14:02

are you sure they wake each other up - my twins share a room, with their brother next door - they rarely wake up even if one is screaming. 2 of them slept through the other one having an attack of croup and be carted off to hospital in an abulance !

Have you tried a night light ? Also it might be overtiredness in the daytime that means they do not sleep so well at night.

When they do wake, keep it very low key and dark, keep conversation to a minimum and keep saying time for sleeping.

And hope it is a phase and they will get bored with it soon.

speedymama · 09/12/2005 15:09

Hi

Like the others have said, are you sure the other twin is awoken by the other one crying? When one of mine screams the roof off, the other one is still fast asleep.

We had this problem with our twin sons and HV kept telling us that they would sleep through the night eventually. In the end, we had had enough and when they were coming up to 6 months, we turned off the monitor (they shared the the same room but in their own cots) and let the screamer get on with it. An hour later, the screaming twin was fast asleep and they have both slept through the night ever since. They are now 21 months, still sleep for 2 hours from 1pm and go to bed between 6.30 and 7pm. At weekends they will sleep until 9.30am if we let them.

I'm afraid that if you want to sleep again without interruptions, you will have to get tough. As long as they are not hungry or have a soiled nappy and they are safe, let them scream!

harrogatemum · 09/12/2005 19:30

thanks ladies - I know I should just let them scream but they do wake each other up as its happened every time I have left them to get on with it before and then I just feel like two screaming is a nightmare!!

Anyway will let you know how I get on, have bought them duvets today as they are now 13 months old, not sure what they will think after so long in a sleeping bag!!!

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FrumpyGrumpy · 09/12/2005 20:41

Harrogate mum, I sympathise - mine wake each other even in separate rooms. I slept them apart around two weeks old because of this and its still happening but certainly not so often. DT2 is generally a good sleeper except if there's really a prob (illness or teething). DT1 is a dodgy sleeper (sadly like her big sis who's nearly 5 and still gets up for a wee in the night).

I let DT1 scream it out for quite a few weeks once I realised there was absolutely nothing wrong! DT2 eventually stopped waking and now tends not to cry in the night if DT1 does. BUT I did have quite a few nights where both of them cried and DD1 woke too and she and I had to do our best to ignore it and get back to sleep (and my DP works away and it was soooo lonely). It was really hard but I reasoned that if I didn't do it then I'd have to do it someday.

Look at everything first, enough day time sleep, daytime sleep coming at the right time (mine are put off their routine if the day nap comes an hour too late), have you changed ANYTHING even in a small way that has confused their little bodies?

As a sleep deprived I really know where you're coming from and wish you all the best.

Advice for christmas - do it to the best you can and ignore any comments that say otherwise (others are not walking the same road you are). Get them to help as much as possible and sometimes this means the hard stuff i.e. providing an ever changing need to keep babies occupied giving you peace to prepare and cook. Sometimes they say they'll cook and pour drinks but sometimes YOU want to do that bit - choose the bit you want and tell them what you want them to do. In my house I tell everyone I'm crap at remembering glasses need filled after the first time and to feel free to help themselves.

AND lastly, if you get bolshy, remember its your Christmas too and take a step back and be a guest in your own house. You are merely providing the venue. Hopefully they'll have a shit time and next year you can wait till the DTs are sleeping and stuff your face with 2 M&S turkey dinners for one!!

Sorry if this is a bit cynical, don't mean to be harsh! Best of luck honey x.

MarsyChristmas · 09/12/2005 20:50

nightmare isn't it harrogate.

Now that we've moved and have more space I'm starting to leave the DTs to scream if necessary. They don't tend to wake each other up, but they do wake me grrrr.....

Here's hoping you have a better night and that they are sleeping through in time for Christmas. Have nothing constructive to say re the family.... I'm biting my tongue!

harrogatemum · 11/12/2005 18:18

awww thanks Frumpy and Mars - I have had a nightmare weekend with the boys up at all hours but your words have made me feel better. DH has gone to France for two nights so will be struggling on alone until tuesday. Thanks for your words of advice.

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MarsyChristmas · 11/12/2005 19:30

HM.... are you managing to do the "leaving them to scream" thing?

You need to continue, even though your DH has gone to France.

Thinking about you, with everything crossed.

DeckthehallswithFrumpyGrumpy · 12/12/2005 22:07

Ditto Mars HM. If there's nothing wrong, there's no harm and sometimes you can drift into a little bit of sleeeeeep.......

KAZ09 · 18/12/2005 20:06

Hi there,

My dts are nearly 3 now and have been great sleepers (sorry!) We did however go through a short phase where one of them would wake up during the night. Someone suggested to me to put soft toys in the cot so that they could cuddle them if that was all they wanted. It worked!
Just a thought.
Good luck

harrogatemum · 18/12/2005 20:52

been a while since I've been on MN.

But just had to update you - the sleepless nights have continued relentlessly - until last night. I woke up to see that it was actually slightly light outside - DH rolled over and asked what the time was - I incredulously said "7.45am!!!" Unbelievable. I feel human again.

Hmmmm now all I need is for my kitchen to be finished. DH decided to demolish it and get his "mates" to fit a new one. It is one week to Xmas and I have no stove, no hob and a fridge in the garage. 7 adults and the DTs for Xmas dinner.

Actually I dont think life would be very interesting without all these crises!!!

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MarsyChristmas · 18/12/2005 21:52

haven't any advice re the kitchen except that I think your DH and his mates can take you all out to Christmas lunch at a swanky restaurant somewhere lol

Good to hear that the twins slept through. Long may it continue.

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