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Multiple births

When do you start showing with twins? What is life with twins like? Join the conversation on our Multiple Births forum.

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Original poster

Twins going to a party, do you buy birthday child 2 presents?

18 replies

PrincessScrumpy · 07/05/2011 12:21

I really don't know what the answer is. When friends with 2 children came to dd's 3rd birthday they did one present from them all and I didn't question it but it's just occured to me that dtds will probably go to same parties - do we do a gift from our family or a gift from each twin? (NB. not at all rich as will have to give up work with twins - childcare is too much)

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Jemma1111 · 07/05/2011 12:31

I'd just do what your friends do and just buy one present from all of you.

I think when it comes to school friends parties though I would probably buy two presents from your dtds', and just buy slightly cheaper ones for them to give

LouMacca · 07/05/2011 12:35

I have twins too. If they get individually invited to a party i spend £5 on the birthday child. If they both get invited I spend £10 on the present rather than two £5 presents. So I would just go for one present too.

CarGirl · 07/05/2011 12:43

I was going to suggest what LouMacca says, either 2 inexpensive gifts or 1 worth 2 x the smaller gifts. Friends with twins always bought 2 gifts to encourage everyone to treat them as individuals.

backjustforaminute · 07/05/2011 12:47

My DDs are a year apart & get invited to the same parties, and we do as Loumacca says. It's usually two smaller gifts as they like choosing & wrapping it themselves etc.

foxinsocks · 07/05/2011 12:47

Ds has 4 yes 4 sets of twins in his class. They buy presents for the party child separately. When the twins have parties, if they have joint ones, we buy 2 presents (1 for each child). Hth

chutneypig · 08/05/2011 07:22

I've usually gone for buying two separate presents but if I saw something that I knew the birthday child would like that was around double the price, I'd get that from both of them.

bonkers20 · 08/05/2011 07:29

I presume you are trying very hard to ensure your twins regard themselve and are regarded by others are two individuals. In which case I think you should get two separate gifts. As for the expense...it's just that you're spending a larger amount than someone with a gap between kids, but you're spending it less frequently. Luckily you have some time before they might want to go to University at the same time!
I like what chutney does though - that's the benefit of twins!

Pancakeflipper · 08/05/2011 07:43

My son (6)recently was invited to the party of twins in his class. One of the twins is a boy, the other a girl. My son is good mates with the boy. The boy had been allowed to pick 10 friends and so did his sister.

The mother addressed the invites to the 10 boys from her son and his twin sister was the name on the invites to the kids she picked.

Therefore we only bought for the one twin who 'sent the invite'. I think that worked rather nicely because no-one was tempted to reduce costs for each present, the mother wasn't inundated with a huge amount plastic present tat and each twin had some ownership to their party.

Was totally stereotypical that the boy picked 10 boys and his sister 10 girls but that's who they picked.

Bonsoir · 08/05/2011 07:43

You should be encouraging each of your twins to choose their own present for the birthday child - much better a small gift from each child than a single shared gift.

Basically you want to do everything in your power all the time to ensure that your twins feel entirely separate from one another.

mrsravelstein · 08/05/2011 07:52

well i don't have twins, so i can only comment on it from the other side, but i think if i invited siblings to a party, whether twins or not, i would feel bad if they felt obliged to bring 2 presents.... in fact i would definitely only 'expect' one present per family.

i went to a 3 year old's party the other day, there were 3 of us (me, ds2 the friend of the birthday girl, and dd who's a baby) and definitely only 1 present!

Rosa · 08/05/2011 07:59

We regularly do a 'shared gift' from a group of dd class. Say the gift is £25 we divide equally between the mums ..one of which is mother to twins.
When the twins come to a party they bring one gift between them for the party person.

Rosa · 08/05/2011 08:00

Opps dd2 pressed return. Whe we go to the twins party we give 2 gifts.

Mandy21 · 08/05/2011 19:49

Definitely 2 presents - 2 party invites, 2 separate individuals, 2 guests - therefore 2 presents

weebleswobblebutidontfalldown · 09/05/2011 14:37

It depends on how you want your dts to be treated. I want mine to be treated as individuals so have always said they have separate cards and presents so on the flip side, I always give separate cards and presents too.

The cost is a non issue really, if I had had two dc with an age gap I would still have to buy presents for parties etc from them, so the cost over the year would be the same.

Original poster

PrincessScrumpy · 09/05/2011 20:26

I get that if you were planning 2 dc and got twins cost would be fine, but we planned 2 dc and now have 3. Wouldn't change it for the world but we timed pg #2 so dd1 would start school when mat leave ends so we'd have the cost of one child in nursery, now it'll be 2 in nursery which is more than I earn so I'm losing £900 a month. Therefore cost is an issue!

When a friend bought her 2 girls to dd1's birthday with one present, I felt the gift was from her family not the individual child. Never even tried to work out how much she'd spent. I am very surprised about people's expectations of gifts. Also, I didn't feel the need to treat her dds (aged 3 and 2) differently and not see them as individuals. I think I'd rather spend more on one present than two cheap things (depending on what they are). dds are too young to choose gifts at the moment - will let them when old enough.

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BendyBob · 09/05/2011 20:36

Weeble's post says just what I was about to

I also like mine to be treated separately and if they are both invited to a party they take a card and present each. I spend what I would normally spend on each present.

I don't expect them to both always be invited either to parties. They both completely understand that they both don't automatically get to go to everything.

weebleswobblebutidontfalldown · 10/05/2011 11:19

Princess, we planned on two dc and got dts after dd. There is a 17month age gap so I do understand the costs, so much so that I had to give up my job and get evening work to avoid the childcare costs involved.
But if someone has gone to the trouble of inviting my dts, providing party food, bags, cake, game prizes for both of them then I think it's only polite to send two gifts.
For nieces and nephews we buy a family present for birthdays but for their friends it's separate all the way.

schmee · 13/05/2011 20:36

I always buy a present each from my DTS as I would expect people to buy them separate presents when it comes to their birthday.

About half the mothers send separate thank you letters...

I don't think anyone would blink if I bought a shared present but I think it's important to keep the boys as individuals. I normally spend slightly less than I would if I was buying one present (e.g. £8 for each if the going rate for a present is £10). Does get really expensive though.

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