your best tips for coping with twins in early months?

[WhatsMyNameAgain]

Hi everyone, someone I know (well, know - we talk online) is 33 weeks pg with twins. I've been trying hard to think of my best advice on getting throught the first weeks/months.. and then it dawned on me - I've only got one child! She's going to have double the trouble! (And double the joy, no doubt )

So, you who've gone through this, what life-saving tips could you share?
(she's a first time mum by the way)

Many thanks

Tell her to have lots of meals stored in the freezer.

And to have a takeaway fund!

Get the hang of online shopping.

Bulk cook now and freeze for the first few weeks.

Find out if there are any twin clubs (like Parent and toddler groups) in her area.

Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Don't worry to much about housework etc for the first few weeks so maybe sit down with partner and organise that he does X,Y,Z job to keep the place livable.

Be prepared as much as possible so getting things liek wipes/nappies/feeding equipment if required ready now.

Ask friend's/relative's to come when invited unless neccassary because there is nothing worse than being over-crowded with people when trying to dal with 2 newborn's.

Stock up on household essentials like toilet roll etc.

Most importantly just try and relax whenever she gets the chance because the lack of sleep is a breaker!

Get ready to just go with the flow!

I normally have to be on complete control, have the biscuits made for visitors etc, but the last 5 months have been a wonderful chaos! I warned visitors that life I chaotic, and they just had to fit ^in with whatever was going on at the tome of their visit.

Prime DH to pick up all responsibilities except babies. He can help with babies too, of course, but if breastfeeding, she might get some non-baby things done in a day, or she might not. I picked up the jobs that it didn't matter if I didn't manage to finish them!

Stock the freezer! Ensure DH knows what is there and how to reheat.

Get ready for the biggest rollercoaster ride

Go with the flow and find your own way. Whatever works is fine. Take all advice and tips with a pinch of salt......

1. Go with the flow - whatever she "plans" to do will probably go out of the window. Just accept that its going to be hard (but joyous too) and although its difficult, try not to worry about whether she's doing things "right" - whatever works for her is just fine.

1. Stock the freezer and get husband familiar with the kitchen ;-)

1. Tell her that most HVs are clueless when it comes to twins so don't expect any help from them. Find a twins club (she should get in touch with TAMBA or her local council if they have lists of local groups - it is honestly a god send to spend time with women who know what you're going through) and if she only manages to get out of the house once a week or something in the early days, make sure its to the twins group. I loved mine!

1. EVERYONE will have a "top tip" of how she should be looking after twins or a story that starts with "I know a lady with twins who did X, Y and Z". Tell her to practice the "I am listening, honestly" face before discarding any such "wisdom".

1. Tell her she will be shattered and there will be days when she just wants to cry - but on those days, get the twins dressed and head to her local supermarket. So many people will stop her, tell her how lucky she is, what beautiful babies she has that she can't help to be cheered up :-).

1. That life WILL get easier - OK not necessarily easier, but different - and twins are genuinely a blessing. There is no-one I know with twins that wishes they didn't have them. I am a twin too (as well as having twins myself) and the bond that I have with my sister, and the bond that my twins have is incredible.

Oh yes, definitely join a twins club - it is great to feel 'normal'! And definitely head out of the house for praise from strangers - it's great to feel 'different'!

In the first couple of weeks hubby and I did night shifts (9pm - 3am and 3pm - 9am). We kept a diary of what they consumed and produced so that we didn't have to explain it to each other in the middle of the night. Makes you feel better when they're that bit older and you look back at it and think 'gosh didn't we do well'

Put a list of chores on the fridge. Then people know what needs to be done (empty bins, make bed, cook dinner, hoover etc) without having to ask and you being too embarrassed to suggest.

Second the supermarket suggestion. At 13 months my b/g twins still draw a crowd - makes you feel so proud despite how tired you may feel.

thanks for all your responces sorry forgot to say she's overseas and unfortunately the niceties of life we enjoy over here like online grocery shopping and takeaways are pretty much unavailable there (the few that are, are too expensive and people largely shun takeaways for fear of poor hygiene). I'm not sure about playgroups either when I used to live there there weren't any, not sure if much has changed but I think new mums pretty much meet other new mums in hospital/playground etc. They don't tend to go out much in the early months anyway. No HVs there either, you get home visits by your paediatrician! Luxury!

I did tell her to stock her freezer and to be prepared to leave her place in chaos much of the time.

list of chores and baby feeding/toileting are great ideas, thanks!

i certainly learnt a bit for in case I ever have twins