Potty training my 2.5 year old DDs - nightmare!

[sandyballs]

Hi - I'm fairly new to this site and have become addicted already! Great advice and interesting chats! Anyway, I have been trying to potty train my 2.5 year old twin daughters for 3 or 4 months with varying success - they will spend a day or two in big girl pants, using the potty or loo very well then relapse again, weeing all over the house, poohing their pants.

We had a family party yesterday and all the older members of the family - MIL, old aunties etc, kept on and on about how their babies were toilet trained at ridiculously early ages - 9 months was mentioned (surely not possible!) and my own mum even suggested I must be doing something wrong with my girls! Thanks mum!

Do I just persevere with big girl pants and hopefully get through this horrible messy phase or do I just accept that they are not ready and go back to pull ups? They are very bright and articulate so it's not as if they don't understand the idea. One of them actually said to me the other day, "Mummy have I got pull ups on or big girl pants", I replied "pull ups, but you can pull them down and use the potty" but she just stood there and weed in them, so it must be laziness!

Any ideas/advice would be much appreciated - my husband has just 'phoned me from home (I'm at work) and says our house smells like a urinal. They both weed all over their boosters sits during lunch.

Hiya Sandyballs,(great name by the way). The best advice I got was (1) go straight to big girl pants and (2) do not go back to nappies once you have started. Basically, expect a few puddles and pooed pants whilst your girls get used to the idea. I found the other threads on here about potty training a great help and reassured me that persistance would pay off. I also read Gina Ford's Potty Training Book and found this gave some good ideas (not a devotee of GF but would have read anything to avoid picking another turd out of dd's pants). DD was 2 yo and 7 mo when we started and after about 1 month I we had cracked both wee and poo though had the odd wee accident. She is now almost 3 and totally reliable (but still in trainer pants at night). Good Luck but it will work out, honestly!!

If I were you I'd go back to nappies/pullups. They don't sound ready to me. I think people have seriously defective memories. Nine months is NOT possible. It just means they sat the child on the potty for hours to catch nearly everything. In their day children used to be literally tied to the cot bars to keep them on the potty (no, I'm not joking) so that's what they mean by potty trained. I think your family should mind their own business. Knowing that you are pooing etc is not the same as being able to control it, as anyone who has ever suffered chronic diarrohea will tell you! Some children aren't ready until three. Others earlier. I'm sure it won't take long if you wait a few months. What's the point of having a stinking house!

Aloha - you must have heard of elimination communication

I do know people who potty trained very very early (maybe not 9 months) but just above 12 months !

I do agree with Queenie - I woud continue forward... if they can do 2 days "perfectly" they clearly have bladder control ! Do you stay at home or do yo take them out a lot ? I found that my kids were quickly potty trained but I stuck with it for 3 or 4 days (staying home) and keep persevering.
I presume you are praising them and not making a big deal when they miss. Maybe you could offer a small present if they do well - or do a star chart (that never worked for me but I know it works for others).
Do they sit on a potty or a toilet ? Have you got more than 2 potties ? What sort of accidents do they have ? Too late to the potty ? Playing and forgetting ? Refusing the potty ?

Aloha - you must have heard of elimination communication

I do know people who potty trained very very early (maybe not 9 months) but just above 12 months !

I do agree with Queenie - I woud continue forward... if they can do 2 days "perfectly" they clearly have bladder control ! Do you stay at home or do yo take them out a lot ? I found that my kids were quickly potty trained but I stuck with it for 3 or 4 days (staying home) and keep persevering.
I presume you are praising them and not making a big deal when they miss. Maybe you could offer a small present if they do well - or do a star chart (that never worked for me but I know it works for others).
Do they sit on a potty or a toilet ? Have you got more than 2 potties ? What sort of accidents do they have ? Too late to the potty ? Playing and forgetting ? Refusing the potty ?

Haven't read any of the threads on potty training to know what has been advised in the past and I did not do much reading on it either. When my DD was about 12 months old, we got a comfy potty. When I knew I would be home for a solid 7 days with her, I kept her with just a little top on, no underwear, no diaper, plain naked. She played and had a great time and I kept moving the potty to where ever she was playing. It worked like a charm and she was trained within the week. Pooing took a bit longer, she would ask for a diaper and she would squat in a corner and do one and then ask me to take the diaper off immediately. I did not take her out of diapers at night until she woke up with a dry diaper for two consecutive weeksshe wore a diaper to sleep until she was about 3. I don't know if this was right or wrong, but it worked without any issues. She was never a strong sleeper and I did not want her to worry about getting up to pee. I always asked her before we would leave the house to go potty and I always made sure if we were out that after about 1 1/2 hours, I took her to the ladies room whether she said so or notthis way we didn't have accidents (or failures as it might seem to little ones). I would yell and laugh and clap when she was successful and that seemed to be enough, a star chart or little candy reward sounds great too. Do you have Fabreez over there? It might help with the smell, plain old baking soda will work too. Tell your DH that these are the times he will miss! They grow up so quickly and then when they are teenagers, they piss on you all over again! (emotionally that is)

Pupuce - what a cool website, I was not aware of this!

its amazing how memories fade!its not possible for 9 month old babies to control their motions,my son was early at 18 months but the girls were 2.3months and 2.7 months and still had the occasional mishap,(reading on though through the postings) im unsure about 12 months onwards,as im at home with my triplets(14 months) ill give it a go,but dont hold much hope,
watch this space!!!!!

Thanks for all your replies - pupuce, that's a very interesting website!

We have about four potties scattered around the house and a trainer seat on the loo. The type of accidents they were having yesterday didn't seem to be forgetting or too late to the potty, but just standing there and watching themselves wee on the floor. They don't seem to mind being wet or dirty. One of them is better at it then the other so I'm tempted to concentrate on her and leave her sister in pull ups for now.

I think a lack of consistency is a problem as well - i work three days a week and my MIL looks after them at our house. I have noticed that she is more willing to stick them in pull ups after an accident rather than persevering. Same with DH - he is with them quite a lot because of shift work - and if he has to take them out anywhere he'll put pull ups on rather than risk an accident. The poor girls are probably confused!
Maybe I should take a week off work and just stay in and go for it!

SandyBalls - I love your name too, having a week with them without stress would be fantastic if that is feasible. Sometimes your babes just want a piece of you and some time with youmy little one would say she was hungry whether she was or not and I knew this meant she really wanted me to stop what I was doing and be with her, even for just a minute or twoshe was missing me. Maybe the girls are just missing you (and pissing you instead of saying that they are hungry which was my case). Good luck with all!

Euw! Pupuce! Each to their own. depends what you think is worse - smelly house v nappies. I prefer nappies, personally, but I expect this is a v personal issue.

LOL Aloha - You won't be surprised to hear that if I had a 3rd I woud consider it!!!!

A little update - great day yesterday. It was my day off and we spent most of it out, visiting my mum, lunch out, then park. They spent all day in big girl pants and we only had one little pooh accident - no wee ones! So proud and pleased with them. On a couple of occasions they told me they wanted to wee, rather than me having to remind them!

At work today and I've left very strict instructions with DH and MIL - definitely no pull-ups! DH a bit nervous as he's off to supermarket - fingers crossed for him!

A little update - great day yesterday. It was my day off and we spent most of it out, visiting my mum, lunch out, then park. They spent all day in big girl pants and we only had one little pooh accident - no wee ones! So proud and pleased with them. On a couple of occasions they told me they wanted to wee, rather than me having to remind them!

At work today and I've left very strict instructions with DH and MIL - definitely no pull-ups! DH a bit nervous as he's off to supermarket - fingers crossed for him!

Whoops - so excited by it all that I got carried away!

Fab - keep persevering!