Someone please tell me it will get better when they start school!

[GoingLoopy]

I haven't been on here for a while and although I haven't been offering any support to anyone else I desparately need a bit now!

my DTSs turned 4 at the end of Feb. I keep expecting it to get a little better and easier but its not! I feel as if I have no control over them at all. None of the normal discipline tricks work (time out etc), we have gone right back to the beginning with bedtimes. They never do anything I tell them to. They fight like two dogs and both have bite marks all over them! Its extreme!

They are at home with me almost the whole time (they go once a week 2 hours alone to playgroup and once to forest playgroup).

In August they start kindergarten 5 mornings a week. Can someone please tell me if the routine of leaving the house, being with other kids a few hours everyday and sharing the responsibility of teaching and raising them with someone outside is going to make my life easier.
I am nervous about the whole kindergarten thing because the playgroup woman thinks that they are immature for their age and I should keep them home for another year . I have my reasons to think she is wrong but still, she is making me nervous.

Yes it does get easier when they start school although they can be quite needy when they come home,tierd,hungry an emotional.
Do they respond well when they are at playgroup? do they do what they are told for the teachers there?
When you want them to do something try just giving them one command strongly like "DOWN" and just repeat that command until they have (got down from swinging on the lamp!)
No fighting allowed.Separate them until they have calmed down.
Can you find something to take away that really matters(tv programme,computer,toy etc)
Or on the possitive side if they do what they are told first time they get a treat at the end of the day/few days whatever works.
My dc worked well to sticker charts and once they got so many they then got a treat.It did really change some behaviour.

Aw your poor thing, get some inspiration from this! Really badly behaved twins who did turn around.

www.channel4.com/programmes/supernanny/4od#2921291

Oh gosh - feel really bad for you.

Firstly, kindergarten will give you time to recharge. That's essential for you and will definitely help them. Don't let anyone tell you to hold them back a year. People are very ready to assume that twins are young for their age because they are twins. That's not the case, and any behavioural issues should be dealt with with the children as individuals, rather than attributing it to twin behaviour.

Agree with fidelma about the removal of important privileges. We used to have a box which favourite toys went into for bad behaviour. If the behaviour didn't improve by the end of the week then the toys went to the charity shop or in the bin.

Good luck to you, and make sure you get that time to yourself.

Hi, just wanted to offer an alternative suggestion for discipline, as my two were very trying at that age - much more than when they were supposed to be the terrible twos (when they were actually quite cute.) For us the naughty step and all that stuff didn't work so we tried positive parenting Instead of being told off and having stuff taken away, I told them how good and kind they were before they'd played up, and if they did go into melt down there was a cuddly chair with a book, soft toy and blanket on it for them to rest in until they felt better and ready to join in again. Better than punishment as they were in control of their own emotions. They are now very well balanced emotionally. they don't seem to have any bottled up anger and they rarely fight, though they do bicker like a pair of old men! I think it worked. Doesn't suit all children but does suit those that hate punishment and escalate their behaviour when it's given.

And yeah, just put them in kindergarten. You need the break by now, that's a really important factor.

My DTS (ID) are now 7 and overall very lovely to parent. However, it was hell on wheels from about 18 months to 4.5. They fought, they ran off at any and every opp. I had them in nursery for about 4 hours a week from 24 months - just to have some peace! Then upped it from there. You need a break, ignore the kindi staff. I would second the sticker charts, and firm calm boundaries and splitting them up when they are very hyper. Keep going - they will probably settle down, but that twin dynamic, boy, high energy thing can certainly be a nightmare!!!