life with twins-how do you cope?

[holidays2010]

Quick introduction and i'll explain my post:
Im a mum of newborn twins (+ 5yo singleton) but when i was pregnant i was constantly being told by all how hard id find having twins... however after a problem free pregnancy (still walking DD to school 2days before my induction date at 38weeks) ive found life with twins fine, managable and not exhausting. And i couldnt be happier. I should probably point out that the only help ive got is my DP and hes away at work alot so even that help is limited so im practically doing all this alone and i even have time to do dishes!
So am i the only one or is the perception that twins are 'double trouble' a load of tosh? How do you find life with twins?
I hope i dont annoy anyone with my post - im not trying to be smug just wondered how other twin mums get on.
Thanks in advance for your time! :)

made me smile! !! i have twins now z11could merrily have hit anyone who double troubled me - used to say doublecthe laughs! had son four yrs older too. but it is an interesting time asvthey get older mine still a joy but twins do have different time growing up not least as they are packagedvas one by everyone else! i could go on forever about twins problems fun etc. so just enjoyxxx

with you here! I still maintain that I would have another set of twins again before I had my eldest single baby again!

I think there are 2 ways of seeing it:

If you have twins first then it is the norm because you don't have any other children.
If you have a singleton first and then twins, you are naturally more relaxed because you have done it before and this attitude rubs off on the babies.

Although I do currently have the problem of the twins beating each other up all the time and I don't know how to stop it!

I think it must depend on so many factors. Personally we've found it nowhere near as hard as we were led to believe before we had them. That's not to say we've not had problems, we have but nothing that we haven't been able to sort. We have been very lucky though. I loved my pregnancy and happily went to 40+3 before being induced and having a natural birth resulting in two healthy boys. Many twin parents aren't so lucky and I imagine that must impact hugely.

I do wonder about having older children. I can see the day-to-day practicalities must be more difficult (probably also depending on age of the siblings and how they view the new twosome)than having just twins. However, there must be some advantage to having already worked out which end of a baby is which and some techniques to use with only one child?

We have struggled with sleep issues but I'm sure others would have cured it by now. Ds2 was a difficult baby until he was 6months or so. He generally seemed angry with the world and cried when awake and slept little. We don't have any support within 200miles or so but we are very laid back about most things and that probably helps.

It is hard not to come across as being smug when you feel you're coping OK. We're still early days really and just because things are OK now, doesn't mean something won't be thrown into the mix tomorrow that turns my world upsidedown.

I quite agree with everything you say Atlonglast, mine are only,2weeks old so anything could happen but so far all has been ok.
im not saying its easy-looking after another human being who depends on you entirely is definitely not easy.

i am just a little miffed as to why i was scaremongered into believing i would die of exhaustion just by having twins.

What i have found challenging is actually my firstborn. We seem to clash constantly now which is a shame but i understand she feels left out maybe.
It does help that i dont have to worry about my DP and our relationship too. You need some stability when raising kids and thats mine.

Those who have older twins - what have you found most challenging?

i found the baby years most challenging. but that is because i was not mentally prepared for it. i think i was in shock for a long time. i also had a 3 yo

however i have to say that frm the age of 5 - which i know seems a lifetime away to you, they were an absolute joy

they are now eighteen years old and still ...an absolute joy!

Aw thanks custardo, thats lovely. Well 5yrs may sound far but they grow so quickly. i cant believe my daughter is 5 already, feels like she was just a baby not long ago and now she can pour her own cereal and dress herself!

custardo can you give me some tips?? My twins are almot six and start every day by beating each other up...they are b/g twins and have to share a room with my youngest. They were so easy when they were little, it has been the worst since they turned 5. Thanks Mad!

I thought i saw a thread somewhere with the same problem - twins fighting. You might get a bigger response if you create a new thread for your question? Hope you sort it out soon!

I couldnt agree with you more LondonLottie, i suppose this is an easy stage as they're not running about etc, plus what you said about having a routine. I never had any routine with my FB but she was very laid back, but with these two there is. I guess i'm better off taking each day as it comes and just continue to adore every minute of them!
Thanks! :D

hmmmm tips!

well mine are b/g too and they did fight but dd could batter ds so he wasn't so much into it

i think the biggest thing in my favour was that i was tyrannical. so they had a common enemy.

perhaps not the best tip in the world!

Everyone keeps saying to me - "how will you cope? What will you do?" I feel like telling them I'll pick my favourite and leave the other at the hospital! As If!

I have a singleton dd who will be 3.5 when twins arrive (she's really well behaved and so excited by the babies - keeps kissing my tummy, though I presume the jealousy will set in after they're born). But I'm not too worried. DD didn't sleep for 4 months - really bad collic and reflux. They cannot sleep less - really not possible. Plus I think having an older one with a routine means the twins will have to fit in with life in our house (to a point). I'm far more relaxed and can't wait to meet my two little miracles.

My triplets were far easier than my singleton.

Hi Holidays,
Ive also found the twins much easier than my toddler,and I really think the mere fact that they are not the first means that the initial shock of being entirely responsible for a child/on call 24 hrs a day/worrying about every little niggle they might have,etc is much less so,and I definitely feel more relaxed the second time around.In fact I remember overthinking everything with relation to DD1,whereas with DTs you just get on with it.You adjust to a different reality,and perhaps Im a bit more efficient with DTs.Who knows.The main difference is that routine plays a bigger part in our day than with DD1,but I also think the babies learn to be patient a little bit earlier than a DD1.They keep each other company.
In fact Im glad about the doom merchants- the reality wasnt half as busy as Id imagined before they came!Also double the babies,double the endorphins /serotonin released after birth,I was definitely in some state of euphoria for a while after-I remember going to have their weights checked in the health clinic,and actually feeling sorry for the other mums(of singletons)-that they didnt have twins!That Id been so lucky having a 2-for-1 pregnancy!It is busy now,2 mouths to feed,2 crawling opposite ends of the room,trying to give equal attention to both. People can only comment about things within the remit of their own experience,so just ignore.This is your reality,and youll cope brilliantly!

I'm finding i'm clashing with my singleton alot more than usual. She isnt very disciplined unfortunately, mine and DP's fault obviously but we can only try.

I suppose having multiples means you have to keep to more of a routine, especially if they're not your first so that must help.

Our first set of twins were much harder work than our second, so babies are just different.

If twin parenthood is proving easy so far, all I'd say is don't count your chickens. The hardest time with DT1 &DT2 by far was between 1 1/2 and 2 1/2, when they could walk (and run!) but were impervious to rational argument/discipline. Maximum mobility and minimum common sense!

I have just watched a prog that was on last night about multiples, did anyone see it? Sat here htinking omg, poor things etc! Then ooing and aaing at the cuteness of them all. If I could turn back the clock I would want the first five years again, I loved every minute of it, they were so lovely and honestly easy. Its now I find it hard, very hard................3 x`s 13yr olds, plus their friends................nightmare!