19 months old and fighting with each other!!!

[Paula71]

My ds twins have a fantastic relationship most of the time and play together quite well. But recently I have noticed they are fighting with each other more.
They do get a "Mummy is disappointed in you...naughty boy." lecture but I get totally ignored. It is especially bad with junior, who picks on senior and winds him up something awful. Senior doesn't usually relatiate but has taken to pulling juniors hair!
Please tell me I am not alone in this!

hello paula71, my girls bicker and fight But saying that about 80% of the time they get on fabulously. I have written in felt tip pen by ds3 on their shared bedroom - no ds2 in here.
Do you get ' xxx started it'. and I say 'well I'm finishing it'. Dunno what the answer is, sometimes I shut them in separate rooms and try the talk/empathy on each. Sometimes I just let them get on with it and they sort themselves out. do they fight more when tired , or boredom ?? or want your attention ??? perhaps its normal fighting to be 'top dog'

No Paula71,
Your not alone, it's the one thing about having twins that realy drives me nuts !!!
My DS twins are 4(5 in October), and have fought from quite a young age.
They have days where they get up and play together all day without a cross word, then others where they fight from the minute they open their eyes.
I've not found a solution yet, except to try to ignore it, and not to listen to any carrying of tails etc.
I do sympathise though, it is realy maddening !!!

I am DD, sister & granddaughter of identical twins. I believe that the most vicious, screaming fights are normal to identicals. Complete with the most angry insults imaginable. Just wait until they're teenagers!

thinking about this - is it worse in twins? my sisters and brother used to fight , and in the end we had separate holidays, where my brother would go off to adventure camp!!! Years later, my sister and brother are best friends and meet for dinner/supper every week.

There was also something on another thread, about how their kids behaviour has been worse because they are hot and bothered and haven't been sleeping. I just think I've been in a crabby mood its probably beacuse dh has been snoring his head off and I can't sleep.

Paula71 - I've forgotten how old your twins are - are they old enough for star charts - a star for a good day and when you get to 10 star you geta small toy, 20 stars a video . and if your bad you don;t get one, and if very naughty take one off.

Cheers everyone for your sympathies! I fully intend on using a star chart when they are old enough.
At the moment all I can do is separate them and ignore the temper tantrums.
Pat on the back, I managed, with hard work, to make tidying up a game. Yipee yipee, the only problem is they now fight to pick things up and hand them to me!

My brothers used to have stand up screaming rows with extremely graphic insults and shouting. Usually over the stupidest minor issues, but the level of stubbornness was unbelievable. I've known other twin friends who barely spoke to each other as teenagers except to scream and shout. Were your siblings that bad, Helenmac? From what my mom says, my dad & his twin had the same intensity of rowing when she first met them (19 yo). She was horrified, although they are also very best mates now as 60+ yr old men.

Dear Paula,
If you think two are bad enough you want to have my three for a day!!! We have just come back fron holidaying in France, half way through day two I was crying and telling them I would never ever go on holiday with them again. The fighting, arguing, screaming never stopped, they were bored, what can we do now, there was never a minutes peace. When they were babies it was fine, no terrrible twos or even threes, but boy when they reached four, and now they are nearly six! Everyone tells me it will get better, I can only see it getting louder! Have no answers for you as I need help myself! Good luck, and like me you wouldnt want to be without them!

Triplets, I take my hat off to you. I honestly don't know how I would cope (or not) with three of them. I already sometime feel like I am running in two directions - but three!!!!

The older boy is now "caring" for his little brother despite being only 30 seconds between them. He will go and get a dummy for him if he cries or give him a toy!

Bless!

Actually, I have 2 children who are almost 2 and almost 4, and the squabbling between them drives me up the wall, too. I just also know from personal experience that it's very much worse with twins.

Paula71

Have 8 year old twins, boy and girl, but the worst thing is the fighting and particularly the arguing, they are very competitive and would argue black was white.
The only way I have coped, also have 10 year old boy, it like you have said to ignore it, try to anticipate a row building up and distract, that often helps in our house. Sometimes humour can be used to diffuse them, my twin boy is a particular challenge, so I say things like "if you don't stop that I'll tickle you" because he is very sensitive but also aggressive and defiant. This sometimes helps.

Its so hard sometimes and I don't know what the answer is, but hope some of the posts help you

Hi kkgirl, a year on from my first post my two are 2 1/2 and know now that if the fight happens they get sent to the naughty corner. That really works as they miss out on whatever we are doing for the next couple of minutes.

I must admit I have taken a lot from the Little Angels programme, most of which I am already doing but it is good to hear I am doing the right thing!

Paula

God I didn't realise that your post was a year ago, shows how much notice I take!!!

Glad it is working for you, perhaps you could help me then, its not really the twins who fight, at the moment DS1 10 1/2 thinks its hilarious to wind up delicate little DD and make her cry. It makes me so angry!!