Family complete or not?

[speedymama]

I'm the mother of twin boys who are now 18 months old. Many people say to me that one of the advantages of having twins is that our family is now complete. However, DH and I have been discussing the possibility of trying for another baby next year because sometimes, we do not feel that our family is complete.

Sometimes I feel that we have been blessed with our DT who are a good natured, contented, energetic duo. I feel that we should quit whilst we are ahead and concentrate on them (particularly as I am now 40 years old). On the other hand, we both feel that if we don't try for another one (and we are aware that we could have twins or more again), in future, we will regret it.

Is anybody else wrestling with such a dilemma? I'm not worried about getting pregnant again because it only took 3 weeks for me to fall pregnant with the twins so I am quite fertile. I know for most people, 2 children equates to a complete family unit but we don't think that is enough for us, if you know what I mean.

It's your family, and it's only complete when you and your dh think it is. Don't let other people's opinions put you off doing what's right for you.

Don't see why having twins means you shouldn't have more anymore than any parents with two children. Lots of people have 3 or more children and don't decide thats the way to go until after the birth of the second. Its entirely up to you.

Go for it if that's what you both want. I have twin DDs (4.5) and the thought of having any more fills me with horror

Only you know when your family is complete. If you and your DH want another baby go for it.

Oh no speedy, the size of your family is up to you and your DH.

My dst are 3 1/2 now, I've waited this long to even think about having another because there is a high danger of having another of two! We'll be trying again next year when I'll be 34. I'd love 4 children so maybe twins again would be handy.

You should decide for yourself and your DH after all no one else will be raising them but you.

Go for it Speedymama!

If you don't, you'll only look back & regret never having tried.

But you'll never look at your new baby and regret having him/her/them

Thanks everyone! I guess we know it is our decision but since we became parents for the first time, it is amazing how many people comment, uninvitingly, on our parenting style, size of family, the fact that I have gone back to work etc etc. There just seem to be so many experts with an opinion on everything, even though we have not asked for it. I do wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that we have twins and they are seen as a novelty?

One of the issues I am wrestling with is my age. I am healthy and had no problems falling pregnant first time round but by the time I decide to have the next one or batch, I will be 41 going on 42. I could not contemplate trying right now because I want the boys to be out of nappies by the time I have another/others.

The other thing I think about is the sleepless nights, the constant feeding or changing nappies, the amount of washing and selfishly, the fact that it took me 16 months to lose 4 stone of pregnancy weight!

Ah well, when the time is right, I'll know for myself, one way or the other.

ds1 just turned 2 when i had the twins- we are complete now

I too fell pregnant quickly with my twins & have pretty much known there's room for one more.
I don't yet feel the family is complete.
Sod other people's opinions, those who comment on the fact you have sorted your family in 1 foul swoop have'nt got a clue!
You know, not the old lady down the road.

Our twins came last - and considering we were only hoping for ONE more to add to our existing three, that the car is now full (thankfully we already had a 7-seater) that we have no more room in our house (had to get the loft converted), & my rapidly approacing 40th, they will have to be our last. The local GP, a local anaesthetic and a pair of scissrs will make sure of that!
But that's MY case. If you want more, go for it. If I'd had mine first, I think my natural, drug-free delivery would have been enough to put me off more! However, look at it this way, a singleton will be a doddle - and I can say that with complete confidence, having the three older ones. Any one who thinks one is hard should try it our way...with two at once...or more!