Newborn twins and a toddler - anyone else?

[Twinsandatoddler]

Hi I have 4 week old twins and an 18 month old and would like to hear from anyone else in the same boat.

I'm struggling with breast feeding the twins (finding it exhausting, painful, constant and they are not gaining enough weight) and am thinking of giving up. I hate that I have to let one of the twins cry (for up to an hour) while I struggle to feed the other.

I'm feeling so guilty about not being able to give my toddler the attention he needs. I can't even pick him up or cuddle him on my lap because my c-section still hurts.

I don't know how I'm going to get all 3 of them out of the house on my own. My toddler is too young to walk (in the direction I want him to go in!) or use a buggy board. I can't bear to get a triple buggy as can barely get the double in anywhere - including my house.

I'm going a bit stir-crazy and feel that I'm missing out on all the lovely times I was having with my toddler now that the twins have arrived. I know things will get easier but would be great to hear some reassuring (or realistic) words for others in a similar situation.

Also we used cartons of ready milk to begin with. Expensive but worth it. At night I would take cartons, sterilised bottles and bottle heater upstairs, plug in beside bed and that way i could feed babies without getting out of bed which was faster and allowed me to get more sleep. I also had box of activities that take about 10 mins to complete/play so that i could grab 1 to 1 time with toddler.
I paid a family friends teenage daughter to help me 1 to 2 afternoons a week in the beginning. she would help with babies and around house and now babysits

I do remember how guilty i felt, its difficult to divide your time.
Dummies were and are a lifesaver too.
l still constantly think - How can I make this easier? I have bags with nappies, toys etc ready in car and under pushchair
We spend a lot of time at a cafe with softplay area which toddler loves and i feel comfortable on own with all 3.

Hey there,

I have six week old twins and a 19 month old! I haven't read the other posts - toddler could wake up any second (!) - so apologies if I repeat anything. Just wanted to say hello anyway. It's a great thing to know that there are people out there in the same position. The hardest thing for me has been dividing my time between the toddler and the twins. He's gone from being the centre of my life to being one of three which must be hard, and he certainly had a few tantrums and difficult nights when they first arrived to make the point, but I tell myself that however tricky he finds it when I feed them, it's for his overall good. He will be so much better in the long run for having siblings so close in age to him. I also feel guilty about the twins missing out on the level of devotion and attention he received as a baby but the same thing applies to them, and anyway, second children are often better adjusted for that very reason... In terms of breastfeeding, they were very little when they were born - one was only 4 and a half pounds - so breastfeeding was almost impossible (they feel asleep almost instantly). For that reason, and so that my family can help out with the feeding, I express my milk with an electronic expressing manchine and bottle feed them. Now they are a little stronger, I breastfeed them a bit to keep up the supply, as the pumps don't have the same stimulating effect, but my supply is now diminishing a little. It's not the perfect solution and its time consuming, but it's better than no breastmilk at all which is what they were faced with initially.

Toddler now awake! Would have loved to say more but duty calls.

Good luck, and it will get easier...

One last thing! I am out constantly. It keeps me sane, keeps my toddler happy as he loves nothing better than to go out and the twins sleep really well in the pushchair. We use an out n about nipper which has a little ledge on the front. My toddler sits on that, and I secure him to the pushchair with two sets of reins so there is zero possibility of him jumping off. Works really really well for me. Couldn't get by without it.

Hi

I'm new to mumsnet and had been searching the internet on breastfeeding toddler twins as I'm finally thinking about when I'll stop but I wanted to add my support.

I have a nearly 4 yr old and 20 month old twins, a gap of 2yrs 3 months. The first 3 months were hard going and my older one watched alot of cbeebies.

I'm still feeding my twins and added some ff at the beginning to have a rest, the twin feeding cushion was a godsend and I dropped the ff.

I also had a Phil and Teds side by side and older one sat on the front which worked really well.

Going along to a local twins club helped with support and distraction for the older one in a safe, understanding environment.

It's a slog but it changes and aspects get easier but it's a bit more manageable and all support is always welcome!