Once again, I'm caught between wanting to, justifiably, celebrate the success of one twin, yet feeling alongside this, an instantaneous worry about his twin. My non-identical twin sons are now 9 and have always been utterly different - in looks, interests, abilities etc.
Both are at an academically selective school but DT2 has always done better academically and has now been put on the Gifted and Talented for English and will get extra support to reach his full potential.
DT1 - by far the more able socially and also with the much higher IQ (got them tested for various reasons a while ago)- stuggles to concentrate on work, work independently and always wants to be physically active and sociable.
DT1 has, over the years, come to think of himself as the 'thick twin', no matter what I say, as he just doesn't perform as well in most school subjects (although he did better in Maths last yr than his twin in the exams). His IQ (and I know these things aren't the full measure of holistic intelligence) is 141. So he's by no means stupid. But he does have some issues about attention/ concentration and motivation/ application, which means that he doesn't reach his full potential a lot of the time.
Whilst I'm delighted that DT2 (who is socially challenged as he's got Asperger's traits) has had his talent for English recognised, my immediate response is to feel concerned about what DT1 will think and to wish that DT1 could excel at something too or get more support with his attentional difficulties.
Has any one else got this constant thing going on with twins, where you can never fully enjoy and celebrate the success of one, as you immediately think about the reaction of the other?...and in this specific case, what should I do - or is there nothing really TO do?