Your views & experiences of breadwinner & caregiver roles?

[charlysangel]

Hi,

I'm interested in your views on breadwinners & caregivers roles. Do they exist? Are they gendered? Are they more prevalent in some cultures and families than others?

My husband is Japanese and I lived over there for 9 years.
In Japanese society the roles are still very much separated. In the vast majority of families (far more than over here) the husband works to earn money and makes no contribution at all towards the housework or child care.
The wife is in complete control of all housework, cooking and childcare, including controlling the family budget.
In recent years some mothers have gone back to work, but it is not really expected and childcare, maternity leave, company understanding are often lacking.
The idea of a househusband or stay-at-home Dad is still really quite alien.
They introduced laws about paternity leave a few years ago, but it really hasn't had much effect in encouraging Dad's to get more involved with their babies.
Women usually return to their own parents' house to have a baby and stay there for a month or two to be looked after by their own mother, rather than stay with their husband.

Thanks Ruth thats a really interesting insight. I always wanted to go to Japan but sadly not had the money yet. I think its so easy for parents to think the way things work in their country or culture is the norm. Ive done some travelling & that sort of opened my eyes to the fact that actually there are lots of different ways of doing the different roles things. Do you think the internet & sites like this will help people learn about different ways of parenting? I often wonder if it will help men more than women as men dont like to talk about these things they just want to get on with working and being part of the norm

My husband is a head chef. I work from home as a childminder. I generally look after the kids, but my hubby does that sometimes.

He cooks brilliant meals especially when we have visitors. He washes up and hoovers etc.

He believe that women should be able to do what a mans does visa versa.

He deals with the kids in a different way to me, but I try not to interfere. Sometimes its easy to complain when men do things different to how to want them to, but this may cause them not to want to help.

In my house things are a little different in that we share in the house work etc.

We are both black with parents from the caribbean.

I never saw my dad iron. He did however cook and do the shopping.