How to deal with colour questions from a mised race girl?

[AnnVan]

Hi, will try and phrase this correctly. My MIL has a 3yo DD who is mixed race. She has a big thing about things being 'the same' and loves playing matching pairs etc. Since the birth of my DS, I think it's brought to her attention that people have different coloured skin. Questions started out with her asking if her doll (black) is the same colour as DS. Obviously the answer is no, she then progresses to asking if DS can change colour. Since then she has asked her mum about the colour difference between herself and her mum/dad/half siblings. She has become quite focused on wanting to know if there are other people the same colour as her. I think MIL hoped that this issue wouldn't come up just yet, and I don't think she really knows how to handle it. We live in an area that is predominantly white, there are some black people, but not very many mixed race children. Does anyone have any tips about dealing with this sensitively, and in a way a 3yo can understand? Also any tips on how I can help? I've more or less stayed out of it as much as possible, as I don't want to tread on MIL's toes.

Oops just realised I mistyped the title! Sorry!

What I say to DS is that what colour you are depends on where your family comes from (add "a long time ago" if necessary depending on circumstances)

People whose family comes from a hot country have darker skin because it protects them from the sun. People whose family comes from a cold country tend to have paler skin so they can get the goodness out of the sunlight better.

DS seems to understand that and it has the benefit of being entirely true.

Do not get into any kind of racial politics unless you have to explain something and then just tell the truth as far as you are able without getting in a knot about it.

Mrsg -thanks, that sounds like a good answer for the WHY question. Maybe I should show her some pictures of mixed race celebs to show her other people who are the same colour?
Wouldn't dream of bringing racial politics into it, just trying to find a good way of reassuring her that she's not alone etc.

Yes, pics of celebs sounds a good idea. Even better would be other children. Perhaps you could ask your local librarian if there are any books with lots of pictures of children of all different colours - also ask on the children's literature board for ideas maybe?

We know one other mixed race girl, so we have told her they're the same colour, but now she want to know if anyone else is the same colour. Good point about the literature though, will look into it.