Mixed race children

[Lovefashion]

My parents were born in Pakistan. My dad came to the UK when he was 7 and my mum when she was 18. My grandma has lived here for 64 years. I was born in England, my husband is white British and our son was born here too.

Lately I have been struggling with a real sense of fear about where this country is heading. Recent elections have shown how much support right wing politics now has and it feels like the country is becoming more divided and hostile.

I know people will say not to read too much online, but when the conversation around immigration and identity becomes so negative, it is hard not to take it personally when families like mine are part of that discussion.

I feel scared for my son, my niece and my nephew growing up in a country where people may look at them and see them as less British or less welcome, despite this being the only home they have ever known.
I do not know if anyone else from immigrant families feels this underlying anxiety at the moment, but I cannot seem to shake this awful feeling.

Nobody prepares you for these conversations as a parent.
My son recently asked me what would happen to mixed race children if Nigel Farage ever became Prime Minister. Hearing that come from a child completely broke my heart.
How do you answer that without passing your own fear onto them? How do you reassure them when the public conversation around immigration and identity already feels so hostile?

I feel the same. I am mixed race though people think im white. But my children’s father is black and yes im really worried with the way things are heading. I thought this country was always racist tbh but it was much more hidden than it is now and people are just openly racist now. Some woman at the bus stop racially abuse my child recently.

Nothing constructive to add other than I am so sorry society has come to a point where you feel.this way and that this is happening.

I feel the same, OP. My children are mixed race, too. I worry also for my partner, my sister-in-law, her children.

I have recently started to consider moving abroad, because I’m not sure this country will be a safe space for my children as they grow. It’s very upsetting.

I'm no fan of Farage but there is nothing to suggest your son would be in danger. What specifically are you worried about?

My dc are mixed race. They have both left the UK and started new lives in their dad's country of birth. I don't blame them. I miss them but we can visit each other. I can't live there as the immigration rules are very strict, so I do worry about getting too old/ sick to travel. They are happy though.

My DC is also mixed race. Racism is becoming so much worse now. Farage and Reform have allowed racism to be much more openly expressed. A mum at the school gate recently mocked an Asian mum who was telling her child off within earshot of other parents and the staff on duty. She also encouraged her children to laugh at this mum & kids. A parent of another child in my DC's class has made covertly racist comments to me, pretending to be concerned and 'A slip of the tongue.'

It was horrible. My DC has had racially motivated comments made at school. This is only in primary, so god knows how bad it must be by the time they get to secondary.

All the pretence from Reform and the supporters that this is just about illegal immigration is disgusting.

Our DD is mixed, she and DS are adopted and were born overseas, I worry too. Their birth country is no less problematic. They and I have dual nationality.
We live in the NW and in a fairly multicultural area, but the county council has a lot of Reform councillors, though there are no Reform MPs in the region which is a bit reassuring.
I don't know what to tell her - I don't want to make her feel afraid, so I tend to talk this kind of thing down. I tend to feel it's better to think ridiculous people are stupid rather than scary.

This is how I feel, just want to move abroad somewhere to escape the hate here.

I'm sorry this is how the current situation makes you feel but I understand and it isn't unwarranted. We've had a huge influx of immigration in my town recently from India and Africa and I think it has revitalised the town which was quite frankly dying with new shops, eateries, churches and so on. I've not seen or heard anything negative about any of the new people living here from anyone and the people seem really lovely, family orientated, conscientious and very much here to contribute. However after the recent Scottish elections we now have 2 local Reform MSP's. I am really concerned and quite frankly terrified that Reform will win the next general election, very worried for some close friends and their families.

Oh piss off

Why? It was a genuine question. I also have a mixed family.
I was not mocking the OP. I actually want to know specifically what she isnworrying about so we can help.

I said I'm no Farage fan so I'm hardly going to be here defending him.

So genuine...

I am more worried about the economic consequences of electing Reform than the racial ones; they are tempted to remove workers rights, disability rights, remove support for the neurodiverse, all sorts. We will all be screwed one way or another.

I still don’t like the racist element and am scared for my own future as I am obviously dark skinned. My dad’s family was kicked out of Uganda in the seventies so we are preparing in case we get kicked out again. Got dual citizenship and all sorts ready to start over.

I am genuinely worried because I don’t want my child growing up in an environment where racism and Islamophobia become more normalised, or where human rights protections are weakened. That matters to me more than party politics! People now are openly racists towards anyone who doesn’t actually look white!

am genuinely worried because I don’t want my child growing up in an environment where racism and Islamophobia become more normalised, or where human rights protections are weakened. That matters to me more than party politics! People now are openly racists towards anyone who doesn’t actually look white

What specifically is YOUR problem with my posts on this thread. Please explain.
I have two mixed race kids btw.

Good for you.

You would need to be living in lala land to have missed the rise in people being openly racist and xenophobic. The more the likes of Farage grow in popularity, the more people feel comfortable spouting hate. The more they spout their hate the more people there are being radicalised into thinking ethnic minorities are the enemy. I'm genuinely scared about how far this will go. If Reform get into power they will be doing all they can to remove protections for people. Even white British people should be scared of what could be coming for them.

Only someone hugely ignorant would not recognise the rise in racism over the last few years.

I don’t have a mixed race family, but I’m sorry that you have been made to feel this way, but I understand why you would. The hatred and ignorance from some people and factions of society is disgusting.

Same, OP. My parents were born in India, I was born here and my husband is white British. I am gearing myself to discussing this all with my 8 year old. Someone called me a “p*ki slag” from their car the other day when I was just crossing the road (ironically on my way to vote), and I realised I have to talk to my daughter about racism before she faces it. I have no advice, but just want you to feel less alone. There are many thousands of us having to have these conversations with our children now and it is utterly heartbreaking.

I'm sorry to hear this. How grim. It does sound like we are going backwards.

I'm sorry if anyone took my post the wrong way. I just think there are other factors behind things that won't especially worsen with Farage if he became PM. Social media and bots are stirring things up.

We left the UK, where we’d lived since the 1990s, in 2019. We didn’t want our UK-born child growing up with it.

Can I ask which country you moved to and how things have gone for you?

I ask as a POC who is going through the same worries

I have an Asian husband and mixed race children. Live fairly rurally at the moment but thinking about moving somewhere less white (and less Reform like) in retirement. It's really depressing.