Are your bilingual child’s language skills as good as peers?

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I have a nearly four year old who is English/ French Bilingual. English is her mother tongue then we moved to France and she started four days a week at maternelle when she turned three.
Her French has taken off very well although as expected not the level of a native speaker but she communicates clearly and plays with other children without problem.
Now her English seems to have taken a back seat- it’s clear when she is with family members who speak just one language (either English or French) her language is much simpler and her grammar is much worse. For instance she still says “my” instead of “I” a lot and other similar mistakes.
I try to model the correct way of speaking but often forget to be honest. Her speech is delayed as such as she talks non stop just more immature than most children her age. Is this common in children who have two languages or one introduced after infancy?

I think this is totally normal for a four year old - and often for a while beyond that age too. From what I have observed of various bilingual children, including my 7 year old nephew and 4 year old niece, they tend to be stronger in the language they use the most and can get confused between the two languages - both in terms
of words and grammar / sentence structure for quite a while. It‘s not uncommon to respond to one of the languages in the other and generally make sounds / formulate sentences that don’t make sense even in their main / strongest language. This all seems pretty normal from what I’ve seen. My four year old niece generally refuses to speak English, but understands it and just responds in her main language. My nephew is pretty fluent in both now - and often translates for his little sister. At the age of four, they don’t necessarily fully understand the concept of two languages and just try to communicate as best they can. All of that said, all kids are different, my nephew would speak a combination of the two languages interchangeably when he was little and didn’t really know which was which language whilst my niece just refuses to speak English at all at the moment. They all get there in the end - and what a wonderful gift to be bilingual - not just in terms of fluently speaking two languages, but also the advantage it gives you in learning other languages, the different perspectives it gives you and all the benefits in terms of development of lateral thinking. She will get there I am sure. Just bear in mind that she is having to learn twice the vocab and two different language structures - it would be pretty amazing if she was at the standard of the average four year old in both / either language!

My children (3 and 5) have been raised speaking English (with me) and another European language (their dad's and the language of the country we live in).

My eldest speaks the European language at the same level as other native speaking kids the same age. Does still make grammar mistakes, which her family correct.

Her English gets better and better, although she has an accent and uses some quaint expressions. Again, I correct any mistakes. What has helped her a lot is playing with other English speaking kids and going back to the UK regularly. I also reinforce the English by reading to her a lot and only allowing her to watch telly in English.

The younger one muddles the languages up and uses words from both to form sentences. I repeat his sentences back to him using only English. I hope it will resolve itself in time. He prefers to speak the European language. That said, the last time he was in England, his English became phenomenal, probably because none of his English relatives understand his European language. I do understand it and speak it, so I think it encourages him to be lazy.

I don't know what the answer is, but I think they will catch up with exposure and time.

We have a fluently trilingual (English/danish/swiss German) 7 YO. He definitely mixes up words and sentence order still sometimes. Having spoken to my DM and DS who are both primary school teachers the best thing for expanding vocabulary is reading reading reading. I still read at least 30 mins in English every evening. Danish is probably his weakest language but we spend a lot of holidays in Denmark with the Danish family so he gets several weeks a year of intensive training. The school provide extra German lessons to those who have non-German parents also which helps.

all in. All I would say read as much as possible, take every immersion opportunity available and any additional support. They will get there and it’s an amazing gift!

Hi OP! I can relate to this specific situation myself! I am a native English speaker who started in maternelle at 3 years old. It's amazing how quickly children that age can pick up languages and gain fluency. I also mixed up words and sentences for a while, essentially speaking "franglais", but this didn't mean my overall acquisition of either language was any worse in the long term. By around 7/8 I would say, I was 100% bilingual in both languages and could speak just as comfortably in either. One interesting thing is that I definitely do have an idiosyncratic way of speaking even now as an adult - I will use unusual turns of phrase and slightly archaic expressions. I have been told this does relate to learning two languages in my formative years. Not a bad thing though! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions :)

Raising a bilingual child is constant work. People tend to think it comes naturally if the language is spoken at home but it's not the case. Reading, writing, grammar, vocabulary are built all the time. I would say that language of country of residence and school attendance will dominate. So exposure to all forms is essential - speaking, family visits, playgroups, cultural outings. The weekend school/lessons are a good idea

My children are bilingual with English being the minority language. Based on them, I'd say its normal to be behind their peers at 4. My DD was about on par with her peers by 8, DS is 7 and I reckon he's on par now. The only thing that makes their language skills not as good is a tendency to code switch, especially DD who I didn't correct as much as DS. Their vocabularies probably aren't as wide as children in English speaking countries hearing English all the time from varied speakers but reading books helps with that, so long as the books have a wider vocabulary (which is why I often read older children's books to them, as modern ones seem to be much more limited in their vocabulary)

@noramoo that's interesting! I have a Czech American friend who says she speaks Czech like someone from an older generation, I am guessing from not spending enough time with Czech speaking children when she was a child.

My DD is fluent in English and a European language. I'd say until she was about six she would still mix languages up regularly. Now she is 8 and is very fluent in both, with the odd gap in her vocabulary. She has her father's Yorkshire accent.

What is not so good is her English spelling. Her reading is on par with her other language, but spelling remains difficult. That said she has never had any formal instruction in the English language so I feel like I should feel lucky that her reading skills are as good as they are!

My 2 DC are bilingual French/English. They are 11 and 13. We live in France and they go to French school so their French is definitely on a par with their peers. (And we have proof in their results).

English is spoken with me at home, with family on numerous occasions (they spend 5-8 weeks in the UK every year) plus they read for pleasure in English and watch a lot of TV and YouTube in English.

Their English is also definitely on a par with native speakers their age - in reading, comprehension and speaking. They have no accent and use normal language when speaking, thanks to their huge exposure to the language. DS1s written language is brilliant (thanks to reading). DS2 doesn't write so much but surprises us all with his spelling ability.

At age 4:
DS1 was behind peers in both languages (later diagnosed with SN) but we worked hard on exposing him to as much variety as possible and now, age 13, you wouldn't guess he had struggled.

DS2 has always excelled at both languages (to our surprise after DS1!)

Basically, it took a hell of a lot of work from me, the parent speaking the minority language. I read to them every night. I made them watch TV and films in English. I talk to them all the time and I have had to make sure I don't "dumb" my language down but speak normally. I model correct language, i choose when I correct their mistakes (not too much to dishearten them but enough so they don't get entrenched saying the wrong expression). I also insist on them talking to me in English despite me being bilingual in French.

It's hard but absolutely worth it.

Thank you all this is incredibly reassuring. We do read to dd’s every night but language depends on who is doing bedtime. My four year old speaks mainly in French with DH now and of course a lot of books are French now. They have a mostly English tonie box too.
We have a lot of friends with bilingual children but the children all speak different levels of French and English depending on exposure and if a third language is involved.

Keep plugging away at it and it will work.

I have known several adults who really regret that their parents weren't stricter with insisting on the minority language being used more (or at all!). Its much harder to pick up as an adult.

We had times when it was definitely harder to keep English going. When the DCs came out of school especially- they want to talk about their day in the language it happened in! I let that go for most of primary, but by age 8 or 9 they were mainly telling me about their day in English. Sometimes when DS1 is hyperfocusing on something, he'll talk in French. Depending on his stress levels I let it go or ask him to switch to English.

One huge advantage is the wealth of extremely good TV/films/books in English. My DCs devour teen/YA English fiction. They adore British comedy (we watched The High Life and Friday night dinner last summer at their GPs).

Just wanted to add that it's normal for the age, even if she were monolingual - i say that as a teacher of monolingual kids.

Anyway, my ds is 4 and was talking about pizza and mixed up the french "croûte" with English "crust" and said in the middle of a french phrase "crouste".

I died from the cuteness and woe betide anyone who corrects him.

There are other examples of him mixing up word order in each language, but it is just so cute I can't correct it. It will correct itself in time (sadly!)

Edit: double post somehow.