Discipline

[whydoeseveryonelovepeppapig]

Really struggling with seeing my husband have authority over our DD. He is from abroad and I'm British born. We have really different perspectives of what should or shouldn't be disciplined. Eg he considers poo and bum words to be rude, whereas it's common language to throw around here, especially when potty training. I can't help but interrupt when he is trying to discipline, which obviously annoys him so much
Growing up my mum was v dominant & dad was sidelined really, with no real authority or opinion when it came to me & siblings. I'm obviously programmed to act that out plus we have a particular mindset here; which I feel is quite argumentative.
I think he is quite embarassed when he is speaking to his family; DD jokes around & calls him funny names & he wants her to sit and have a chat but she's shy so just jokes around.
How can we find middle ground? He takes offence if I try to discuss it even or make suggestions.

is he a good dad in anyway?

my dad was very critical of me - and it had a lasting impact - finally putting it behind me in my 40s

Well there is a middle ground but not sure how you would achieve that if he refuses to talk and shuts down any conversation.

Will he at least explore why it’s so important to him that your DD sits and behaves on calls. If how he is perceived by his family is more important than his relationship with you and DD, I’m not sure how you get past that.

what was he like when you went through all the parenting discussions before you had a child with him?

🙄

Good. Discussions are different to actually being in it....

I'd like to know more about what @whydoeseveryonelovepeppapig you mean when you use the words authority and discipline.

Broadly, however, as a Brit, and a traditional one, I disagree that bum and poo words are thrown around at potty training time. "Mummy I did a poo" fine. "Mummy, daddy's a bum bum poo poo head" not fine. Also I don't compute your assertion that playing the fool, joking around and calling others "funny" names when her grandparents/aunts/other family call from abroad, correlates with shyness. It correlates with unboundaried poor behaviour and stupidity to me.

Your child sounds in dire need of boundaries. Providing he isn't being abusive or horrid, I'm on team dad here and unless you are happy for your child to be the class brat, I think you need to get onto his team pdq.