Bilingual kids - is it too late?

[notamorningpanda]

Just wondering if anyone is in a similar situation or has any advice / success stories. I grew up in a different country and speak a different language as my mother tongue. We live in the UK and my DH is English so we speak English at home. When DD was born I just assumed I'd speak to her in my mother tongue and she would grow up bilingual but this proved much harder than I expected. I have lived here for over 15 years and only speak my mother tongue when video calling my family or friends back in my home country so found it hard to constantly switch when talking to her so I ended up speaking English most of the time to her. Especially once she started to understand and speak herself I found it very hard not to also use English myself. She is now 3.5 and she only speaks English. She knows a few words in the other language but not much.

I'm really beating myself up for not trying harder when she was young. I really want her to be bilingual. Is it too late for her to learn my native language? What can I do to make it easier? It probably sounds ridiculous that I'm struggling to speak to her in my mother tongue but I really do. Any advice / encouragement would be really appreciated.

Can you get hold of some age aporopiate books and TV in your mother tounge?

Or start repeating yourself - so say everything in English and then repeat thxsentance in your language?

It's never to late to start. Give it a go.

Just start talking in both languages

Do it OP! She will thank you so much. There are so many studies that show that having two languages works wonders for the brain, and it will be a lot easier for her to acquire new languages too. I think you have to change your mindset a bit and try and get over the hump of it feeling odd to communicate with her in your mother tongue. Are there any books you remember in your language from your own childhood? Any good cartoons? I'd make a conscious effort with those things to begin with.
I grew up bilingually and my children have been raised bilingually too. I know a lot of people my age who weren't given the language as children, and they find it a lot more difficult to connect with their roots and to that part of their identity when they're older. I recently met a woman in her 60s who has just learned her mother's mother tongue, and they have been able to chat in that language for the first time.

3.5 is not too late. It may feel like it’s not working but it takes a long time. I have friends where one is Italian and the other one South American - each speaks their own language to the child (and they live in England). He’s 6 now and I rarely hear him speak to his parents in either of their languages (he speaks perfect English of course!) but he clearly understands everything they say to him and in time he will have those languages as well as English

It’s not too late. Start right now. Throw her in the deep end. It’ll get easier every day. Just speak your mother tongue with her.
I moved abroad in my teens and after only having access to the local language, after 3 or 4 months I spoke passably and by a year I was fluent. It will be uncomfortable for a while. But do it. Make it fun speaking, get her to repeat words in your language. She will start by always speaking English - just reply in the other language. Always. Eventually she’ll start using individual words and then sentences. Do it.
She will thank you. My kids are bilingual and it’s a gift.

Under 6 it's not too late.

Thanks everyone! Appreciate your replies!

I'd say it's not too late as she's under 5, but you need to start now pretty much exclusively talking to her in your mother tongue. 5 is a key age in terms of language acquisition. Even beyond 5 of course she could always learn it in future but would be unlikely to be exactly bilingual. I know it's difficult to change the language you speak to someone in but it's now or never really.

Do it but she will most likely carry on speaking English as she will most comfortable doing that. If possible only speak your mother language with her even when DH is there so he learns some too.
Watching TV together in your home language is a good idea and books. There are bilingual kids books but sometimes the translated language isn't right. There may be some in your local library of it's a fairly common language.

Definitely not too late. Could you find a group of other speakers of the language? What about some tv channels with children's programmes?

It is never too late. I agree with pps that you can start now speaking to her in your mother tongue, books and videos and also, why not organise some lessons?
We have a large Greek Cypriot population where I live and Greek school on Saturday mornings is routine..

I worked with linguists, one friend was French and her husband was English but taught French. They only spoke French at home.
Another tried to speak French to her DD but the baby cried whenever her mother spoke English.
a German dad watched German TV with his children.
Go for it and see what works for your family.

Thanks everyone, really helpful!

It's a fairly obscure language but I found a Saturday children's group in a town nearby that I plan to take her to. I also found some TV shows for her to watch. She doesn't seem to mind watching them not in English although not sure how much she actually understands of it so far. I am trying to speak to her in my mother tongue as much as possible but I am still finding it VERY hard to switch. I find myself switching back to English all the time. Also she seems to find it funny when I speak my language to her and she talks back in gibberish 😂 anyway I'll keep going!