ok im new to this please bear with me

[startingoveragain]

right i ve not long seperated from my husband and im moving on.

ive met the most lovely guy he's kind and he's funny and i really like him.

but he's not the same race as me and im really worried how my ex and and family will react or am i being incredibly old fashioned and ridiculous

my mum knows and she's fine but my dad and ex are another thing entirely

please tell me im being silly

You are being silly, what is important is that you like him and that he likes you.

Afterall it is you who is going to be going out with him (hopefully) not your dad or your ex .

than k you i know im worrying over nothing but it just seems a further kick for my hubby iyswim

if you are prepared to give up something you want to spare your ex pain - why did you separate from him? Why not just stay and put up with a life you didn't want with him?

lol kew cumber fab blunt and too right

Actually, I know exactly what you are asking and why...I went through the same ' wonder' and turmoil even though I'm half Indian myself! I'd never had any experience of having a relationship with anyone that wasn't ' white'(whatever that means!).
I was also worried how my dad would react (being the Indian), as I know that although not a racist he has/had certain expectations for me and I'd already had two failed marriages and a child with a different man entirely. It took me ages to tell him that Dp is black(mixed actually). He didn't say anything, because that's not his style, and he is polite to Dp, but I know he is disappointed by the lack of support Dp affords me, especially as I am now the mother of his Dd but I still don't know what dad really thinks of Dp.
I think that if this man makes you happy, laugh etc then it is worth sounding out your dad or running it by your mum(my mum kept asking if I'd told dad yet )
As far as your public face is concerned, it does feel completely different - even strange at first to be walking hand in hand with a black man. Some people still don't like it and I was one of those once - not because I'm racist, I'm not, but I'd never found black men remotely attracive in the relationship sense)but times and attitudes do change.
What I would be concerned about for you, is more the speed of your moving from H to new Dp..a break in between is nearly always the best way to go IMO. I'm currently talking to a RL friend that has always gone from one relationship to the next and now at age 49 suddenly realises that she is not happy and can now see that she needed a break between her last and her current relationship..she has, she feels just wasted 3 long years with a man she didn't really want or need in her life.
Think carefully and good luck.
And I hope I haven't offended anyone.

fab advice solo

im only seeing him having some fun

i've been seperated 8 weeks but things have been over between us for a long time to the point where i have done all my greiving for or relationship and turned my self inside out trying to sort things out between us

but i know what your saying im hoping this will stay a fun thing for a while as im scared of introducing anyone to my little one and also being a child of divorced parents three between them im very cautious of what happens around her

sorry if I was a bit too blunt - but I think you know what I mean. you need to understand that what ex feels isn't a part of your equation anymore. No need to hurt him needlessly but if you're not going to introduce your DC's to him then presumably you won't introduce him to your dad either yet.

Don;t create problems in your mind which don;t exist yet. this relationship might not last and Ex, father, DC will all be none the wiser and you will have wasted energy stressing about nothing.

Worry about it if/when it becomes and issue.

no you were fab as you have been againh kew thank you

very true very true