What can we do to support DS's mixed cultural heritage?

[crimplene]

DS's dad (my ex, but we're on good terms) is a mixture (Punjabi Indian, Chinese and Indonesian). His parents, following a very frowned-upon mixed-race marriage, decided to emigrate and become as 'British' as possible, rejecting their own languages, culture etc pretty much totally. DS is obviously 'Asian'- all of the other children round here have a sense of the culture/ place from which their families come and people ask about it a lot and DS's Dad and I agree that it would be really good to give him a sense of his family's roots. We've thought about a long holiday at some point when he's a bit older to go and find a few more distant family members...any more ideas, especially while he's young?

Can't comment on China or Indonesia but a good wander round Southall should give him some Punjabi flavour! My husband is a Hindu Punjabi by origin, so I have bought my daughter some very simple books on Diwali and we celebrate Rakhi with her cousins (or try, as she is only 2). Easier for us as she has a lot of Indian family here but these are the little things we do.

My dh is mixed Indian (Dad from Bombay) and English (English). I am Chinese Singaporean.

Dcs look quite exotic but probably closest to Oriental. Dh is not bothered about his side (his father, like you describe, abandoned his culture on arriving in UK at a young age). But I would like dcs to know their Chinese culture, a lot of which is to do with the way they look. To give them a sense of belonging to their cultural heritage, once issues of identity arise. Dh is mixed race and has never really felt he fully belonged to any one culture.

I am pretty far removed from Chinese culture (3rd generation immigrant). I feel it is important for dcs to learn the Chinese language, because it gives them the ability to tap their culture at a later age, should it interest them. Mandarin is also flavour of the month, but in actuality quite difficult to learn without immersion.

My Mandarin is just about good enough to support them in lessons I have signed them up for.

Out of the cultures you list, is there anyone you and their father feel able/motivated to support them in?

Hello blueshoes. Is that you on the other thread about pronuncation problem?

I'm Malaysian Chinese and spent a couple of years in Singapore.

Sorry crimplene.

My strategy is stories. Lots and lots of them. You might be able to find these "cultural" stories in the library depending on where you live. Or try this:

www.mantralingua.com/

hello slng, what is your view on watching TV/DVD in foreign languages? I want to subscribe for a Mandarin channel but don't know how to go about it.

I would like DC to have access to good DVD/TV programs in Chinese but I haven't found them yet! I think it's a good idea, but it does have to capture kids' imagination, otherwise it's just a waste of effort... (The things is, Bob-the-builder and Thomas the tank engine are pretty stiff competition! I often think it is impossible for children NOT to learn English because of these programs. Again it makes me believe that the key to a culture/language is stories and more stories.)

I don't know what Punjabi/Indonesian programs for kids are like, but Chinese ones seem to be hard to find. What I'm going to do is to get story CD/tapes, when I go back to Malaysia.

By the way youtube does have some funny Chinese cartoons for kids!

thanks, slng. I see what you mean about the programme being something that must capture the dcs' attention. I can't even get my dcs to watch any of the English TV that is out there (even Thomas) at the best of times - bad mummy emoticon.

I was thinking about playing the programme in the background so at least they get to hear the intonations (before they lose the ability to distinguish) and be familiar with them as a foundation to formal lessons.

It sounds like my Mandarin is far worse than yours. I would love to tell them stories but would struggle to read even children's books (unless accompanied by pinyin!) and talk fluently conversationally.

My best bet would be to go to Singapore to find some books. I got some friends to send me Chinese children's DVDs from Singapore. But I have to admit they drove me mad to listen/watch to them because the accent was so exaggerated and hyper-cute. I just want a normal voice like a newsreader but I suppose all children's programs are like that to some extent (even those in English).

thanks slng & blueshoes - yes DS's Dad is also Singaporean. The Chinese bit of his family speak Hokkien (sp?), but in his case so little I don't think he could support DS in learning it - especially reading what you said blueshoes about the wisdom of trying to learn Mandarin from scratch on another thread. It also sort of feels odd to try to put so much effort into learning a language that 'belongs' to only one of DS's great-grandparents (who died over 50 years ago). But I can see how inaccessible any culture is without the language. Punjabi is a possiblity - I like the idea of finding books, ta for the link.

We live in a very multi-cultural area - but we don't participate in cultural activities that are Chinese or Indian in origin, even if they're geographically close, we wouldn't know where to begin - DS's Dad is not close to his immediate family - for good reasons - so that's not really a way 'in'.

Hi crimplene. I'm a firm believer in stories, and with stories combined with cultural activities at least DS will not be a stranger to his heritage. I think you have to think what it is you realistically want for him, and then just set about achieving it. Easier said than done, I'm sure, but that's what I'm doing and I'm simply not listening to anyone who says it can't be done, because even if it really can't how can I just take their word for it and give up without trying? IYSWIM! So think hard, do it and best of luck!

crimplene, I would agree with slng to go down the stories combined with cultural activities route is probably the best route for you. It is a significant advantage in itself for your dcs to be able explain the traditions of their heritage and festivities to people. The stories are also a great window in the values of a culture. eg I remember growing up a lot of the stories were about heros who practised (martial arts!), worked hard over years, and sacrificed, to an extent that you don't get in English culture. That to me reflects the stoic indefatigable Chinese spirit and respect for elders/teachers.

Reading to your children about the history of the countries is also interesting and gives rich perspective. The modern politics of the region as well.