Any progressive Jewish (mother) / Anglican (father) parents out there?

[easteresther]

Would love to know what you did about circumcision, what you do about christmas, whetehr you christened etc?

I'm not in this situation myself, but close family have mainly gone for circumcision, as I suppose it gives the boy the opportunity to follow Judaism when he is older if he wishes. Many Jewish people celebrate Christmas etc anyway.

Hi

We sort of have it the other way around - DP is Jewish; I am not religious at all, although I do have certain 'beliefs'. His family are lovely and I really enjoy all the different 'festivals'. They have come to my family for Christmas before (we call it "Christmakah"). If we have a son he will be circumcised out of respect for his family's religion (and I think it's nicer anyway!). We would probably have a naming ceremony. Hopefully our children will be brought up with a healthy understanding of the religion and we will of course go to Passover, Hanukkah etc as well as doing Christmas, Easter etc. Aside from this, the level of their commitment to the religion would be completely up to them. As will what football team they decide to support (hmm!! )

Hi

I'm an Anglican mother with a Liberal (French) Jewish partner, two stepsons (whose mother's mother is Catholic, father Jewish and who converted to marry) and one daughter, not christened (but nor am I).

My stepsons are circumcised and, tbh, if I had had a son I would have had him circumcised too.

We celebrate all the Jewish festivals with my partner's family and we alternate Christmas between my and his family (but I get a bit extra, otherwise it would be unfair).

I was very relieved to have two girls so never had to worry about circumcision! But we celebrate all the holidays (the more the better!). The girls aren't christened.

Just do whatever you feel comfortable with.

I'm a non practising jew and husband is lapsed greek orthodox. Both my sons were circumcised in order for them to choose either/no religion when older. However they were done in the hospital where they were born at 2 days old by a surgeon (muslim) who performed these regularly. I didn't want a religious circumcision.

Jewish festivals are regularly celebrated with my family and greek easter with the others. Christmas is so unreligious now it doesn't seem to count! Sometimes they light Hanuka candles at their grandparents followed by candles in greek church for xmas.

BTW angel2008 although your kids level of committment to any religion is up to them, the jewish faith does not regard them as jewish without a jewish mother. Completely ridiculous since my sons having been brought up in a non religious household could get married in synagogue etc etc without conversion.

And also neither son was baptised and neither has god parents as this would have caused a bit of confusion.

IMO all these issues need to be discussed with your partner before the situation occurs to avoid any arguement.

The most important thing of all is not to let any other members of the families to interfere - it is between the two of you!

Lazy mum: Totally agree re the ridiculousness of the Jewishness passing through even a 'lapsed' Jewish mother.You have to go back to my gran to find any cultural or religious Jewish practice yet my son is deemed Jewish. I've never ever been to a synagogue (apart from one funeral) and my mum is totally not jewish, even my gran eats bacon and only goes once a year to synagogue. So how ds qualifies as Jewish beats me (and yes I know the reason for the rule was that you always know your mum but not always your dad).

It is crazy and an insult to the many people who want to be Jewish and live Jewish lives.

OOh am I being controversial?

No, you're not being contraversial.

There was a letter in the Times a few months ago from a man (jewish) whose wife had converted and the family observed their religion seriously. Their son was not accepted at a well known jewish comprehensive in north london because the mother as far as they were concerned was not jewish!

He was suggesting that this must actually be against the law - Brtish law that is not jewish! I am very cynical about the whole business of religion I'm afraid.

A close friend is a liberal Jew with C of E husband. They chose not to circumcise (Jewish family not overly happy about it, but accepted it). They celebrate all Christian and Jewish festivals in some way - Christmas, Easter, Pesach etc - but in quite a low key way, more as a way of teaching their kids the traditions of different sides of their heritage than in a religious way.

I'm a practising Catholic and DH is Jewish, but says culturally rather than from a religious point of view, as he's an agnostic.

Before DD was born we discussed what we'd do about circumcision if we had a boy and DH was emphatic that it should be no, unless there are sound medical reasons for it.

DD has been christened and we've been given a lot of stick by the local, supposedly Progressive, rabbi about that. To the extent that DH has cancelled membership of the synagogue because he feels that she is being treated as a second class citizen (the rabbi referred to me and DD as 'his problem') and they are denying her dual heritage. He is actively looking for other non-congregational Jewish people to celebrate festivals with. We'd like to celebrate them at home/with friends, but are not really sure where to start looking, since we moved a couple of years ago and he doesn't know many Jewish people in the area.

We celebrate Christmas (so does all his family, who are not remotely religious) but would like to observe Jewish festivals too.

Hello ladies

My teenage sons would like to be circumcised and I would like them to have it done with a local anaesthetic the Jewish way. Could you please recommend a doctor you trust in North London?

Thanks

Constance

I don't think that any doctor would circumcise teenage boys under a local anasthetic. I am certain that even orthodox converts are circumcised under general. There is a doctor at The Portland who does circumcisions Her name is Mrs K Patil 020 7390 8159. Alternatively to get a religious perspective on a local for teenage boys then I'd suggest talking to Dr Leslie Solomon who is a practicing hospital doctor as well as being a rabbi who performs numerous religious circumcisions. I'm afraid that I don't have his number but you may be able to Google it or contact him via Aish HaTorah

Self and DH are the other way round - I'm Anglican, he's a Jewish-born atheist. I was put under immense pressure by my MIL to circumcise DS (our firstborn) with both DH and my Dad backing her initially. I wouldn't budge as by Jewish law my children are non-Jews and my personal opinion is that it should only be done by personal choice when old enough or for medical reasons. A quick survey of (admittedly secular) Jewish men in my office cemented my opinions. They were all opposed! DH ended up convinced of the same thing. I really resented the pressure & attempts at coercion for some time, but I understand now that for my MIL the final break in the family chain was very difficult & painful for her. Just wasn't prepared to have a tiny baby cut for a religion neither myself nor DH follows. And there's been no long-term falling out .

And likewise my Dad wanted the kids christened, but given that I'd dug my heels in on the circumcision side, I didn't want to be a hypocrite. If the kids want to take on religion when they're older, that's their choice. Secular schooling too. But I won't give up Christmas

constance if your son wants to know more about judaism i recommend contacting these two organisations: www.jle.org.uk/ and www.aish.org.uk/#/aboutaishuk/4532135278