What does Muslim Marriage involve(legally ,culturally)?

[Allthatglittersisntart]

My DP really wants to get married in a muslim ceremony before the birth of our DC. I understand this would unable us to travel to the Middle East /live there if he got a job there , without having to go through a legal marriage. I am a non-denominational Christian and he says that is permitted.
Has any-one here (especially non-Muslims) had this ceremony?
Does it make it legal to live as a married couple in all muslim countries?
Would I have less rights over my DC in those countries?
Are there any non-obvious risks to this type of marriage?
What on earth do you wear ?

I would want to be legally married in this country first then would do a religious ceremony.

personally I’d never want to live in the Middle East. Honestly OP, have you considered what it is to be a Muslim in the Middle East, a woman? What if your kids were born there they would be Muslim too.

Don't know much about this but one thing to consider is your rights if you wished to divorce or separate and return to uk, assuming that's where you are now, as I fear that any children would have to stay with your partner in that country if he wanted it that way. All a bit risky for you I think.

I should have made clear: in the UK now!

Would consider middle east for few years if DP had high salary(plus I could also have a much higher and tax free salary) while DC growing to school age.

You'd have far less rights in those countries than here. Be very very careful. Is he willing to have a civil UK marriage as well, or just the ?nikkah? If no the UK civil marriage ask why?

"Would I have less rights over my DC in those countries?"

Are you serious? Have you ever read a newspaper or watched the news in your entire life?

Like the PP said, you need to get married in a registry office before even start considering marrying a Muslim man who has already talked about the possibility of a future move to a Muslim country. Don't put yourself in a vulnerable position like that

I think you really, really need to do a lot of research into all this. I alarmed that you are seemingly unaware of the massive risks you might be taking. Some of the choices you've mentioned can have very serious consequences.

Got married to a Muslim man 21 years ago here in the UK. We had a very informal Muslim marriage with my brother and his wife as witnesses in a friend's flat. Then the UK official one - again very small.

We got married sooner rather than later because I had got a job in Oman and couldn't have gone with him unless we were married.

Loved Oman. After a couple of years out there, I got pregnant and wanted to have the baby in the UK.

One big downside for you is that you could be divorced (from Nikkah) with 3 words. 'Triple talaq'. Your opinion would not be relevant.

And yes, in less moderate Islamic societies, the man would absolutely have more rights to the children.

But even with a uk-legal marriage, after moving abroad with children, or having having them there, you'd not be able to take them back to the UK without your ex/husband's consent.

Oman is where I would ideally like to go for the wild swimming. So did you have to have the registry office marriage (ie muslim one wasn’t sufficient)?

I don't see the benefit to you, as non-Muslim woman, to having a Islamic religious marriage but not a UK-legal marriage.

Sorry just to hop on this thread - if the Nikkah has taken place, but not the legal marriage, what would happen if the female/non-Muslim party wanted to separate? Is there religious divorce in Islam, or not, like in the Catholic Church?

@Allthatglittersisntart tbh I can't remember but it was a teaching post in a gas company so very multinational. They wanted something official as otherwise they wouldn't have been able to apply for a spouse visa.......or something like that!

Wow - that is so ignorant. Do you see “Muslims” (shriek) as one homogeneous block? Have you ever been to the Middle East? Talked to actual Muslim women there (or at all)?

It’s precisely because I have read all those things! And without UK marriage I have 100percent rights over my DC and all parental decisions. Not that I need them- DP trustworthy- just feel comforted having them.

Think carefully about what you might let yourself in for.

Marriage in uk first then Muslim marriage elsewhere. Fair’s fair.

Research what might happen if you have kids abroad and then you separate. Would there be obstructions to bringing the child/children to the UK?

Be careful OP, love is blind. Take heed of what the wise MN’s are telling you.

The wife could formally request the husband to divorce her.
If he does not, she can petition the Sharia Council (religious 'court').

Seriously though why are you asking about such important issues on an internet forum? If you have a country in mind, why don’t you speak to a lawyer or look up the laws relating to children in the event of separation. It’s not all wild swimming and “high incomes” is it. I really wonder at some people’s priorities

I'm not understanding why he doesn't want to go through a uk "legal marriage" (as you've put it). Why not?

I would be very cautious. In any middle eastern/Islamic country he will have all the say regarding you and any dc.

OP there is no such thing as 'Muslim' or even 'Christian' marriage that means the same thing world over. In England, church marriages (of accepted denominations) are legally binding provided that the proper protocol is followed.
In a similar vein, some Muslim countries might allow Muslim weddings that are also legally binding. Presided over by an imam or other qualified religious personnel.
In other countries, such as France & Malaysia (also a Muslim country!) all marriages have to be registered legally separate to the religious part.

Nobody here can advice you as to what a 'Muslim marriage' thus entails without knowing the specifics of the country you wish to marry in. However, bear in mind that a legal wedding in other countries also usually makes you legally married here. You don't need a UK marriage certificate for spousal rights your foreign certificate is enough.

Nothing is stopping you from hiring a venue and having a nikah here. Why does your partner want to do it in a Muslim country? It sounds dodgy. If the country needs you to be married likely the paperwork not the ceremony is important.

Will the father be going on the birth certificate? Because if he does, or if he obtains parental responsibility, you really WON'T have '100% rights over your DC'. Not in the UK, not abroad.

Without UK marriage you have less rights in the UK in some ways, e.g., to share any assets if you split, or if you give up work to care for the kids, lessening your earning potential. Do either of you have any assets?

Personally I would not move to a middle-Eastern country with children as depending on the country, he will have more rights over them than you, if you split.

'Fifteen countries in the region still apply personal status or family laws that require women to either “obey” their husbands, live with them, or seek their permission to leave the marital home, work, or travel.'

Also culturally... well.
England and Poland are both Christian majority countries. Are English and Polish weddings the same?
It's easy enough for you to Google the ceremony of your husband's culture or even 'Muslim wedding ceremony;, what is your question exactly?

Get a legal U.K. marriage don’t too. If he has a problem with that, then I’d have a problem with him to be honest (why wouldn’t he want it?).

A Muslim ceremony isn’t a legal marriage in the U.K.

Ot would make living/travel easier in some countries and some legal issues too.

We is he so keen? We had one because of some inheritance issues it then we also had a church one too. I just wore smart clothes and a stupid headscarf that made me look like my granny.

Ah, I see, thank you. And if the Sharia court refuses (not sure how common that is) - does that mean the Muslim party is unable to remarry?

In the UK, or elsewhere? Obviously, officially, men are not allowed to take multiple wives in the UK. In other countries this isn't the case.

Edit: I mean I guess in the UK they could have a Nikkah with one person and a legal marriage with another. Unethical but possible.