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Multicultural families

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Original poster

Pakistani husband and in laws financials.

28 replies

MariaUsman · 08/10/2023 19:10

My husband is from Pakistan he sends money to his mum back home and I never stop him but he sends money we don’t have.

I always have to compromise our financial situations so he can send money I’m tired of it.

we came to a agreement he would send a specific amount but he hasn’t stuck to it and I have asked and spoke to him explaining I want him to watch our financial situation first before sending and not send what we don’t have but no Change.

he has 2 older brother every since he started sending money they have stopped working.

i am happy for him to send for his parents but feel he should it be sending to support BIL and brother in laws family. Is that unfair, specially because we live with my parents and he has not taken any steps to make foundations for us.

he sends approx 550000 pkr triple what his wage was when he was in Pakistan. When I ask why so much I don’t get an answer.

what should I do?

we haven’t spoken for two days now because of this and It’s making me resentful towards him he doesn’t see how this is damaging our marriage.

OP posts:
Valtine2 · 21/02/2024 03:33

Goodness me I thought you meant £1500 per month. Do not have a baby with this man it will not work! Do you both have jobs OP? Because if he wants to send £200 from his own money I don't see the issue tbh.

Pwa · 09/12/2024 19:56

Hello hope you are well
This thread has gone dead but I wanted to give my 2 cents
My old man does this, now my sisters husband does this and 99.9 percent of people who were born in Pakistan come here(or other countries) do this-send money back, you literally can't stop them.
You can't really stop it unfortunately, it's just there culture, they might need the cash and might not
As an example my dad's sister takes money monthly I'm guessing around 1000 a month....
Her brother also emotionally blackmailed my dad to marry me off to his daughter-failed and got pissdd. My dad almost bankrupted himself years back taking a loan out and sending half of it, years ago, to his dad my grandpa, who bought property that all his brother inherited, same bro who wanted his daughter to marry me... Again for monetary reasons.
His sister was so pissed at me living in England that she got her elder kids to beat me up at age 10,they were all older than me. All uncles and auty and dad just let it happen.
One tried to strangle me, I got him off me and beat him up with a badminton racket and broke racket on him.

Anyways,im telling you all this to let you know that you can't let them take the mick, they will happily mess your husband and you up, if you have kids they'll happily mess them up for their gain. Even destroy them as it might benefit them, or make them happy in a sick sick way. YOU need to stand up for yourself and show 0 mercy to them, give an inch they'll take a mile, I've experienced it. Your are NOT responsible for them.

Nantescalling · 27/01/2025 12:34

MixedCouple · 21/02/2024 00:44

This is why I didn't marry someone from abroad.
In Asian Culture it is the responsibility of the youngest to look affer the family especially parents.

It isn't going to change dear. You should have done your home work before marriage. Finances is massive reason for divorce.

Every sub-continental country, it's the eldest brother never the youngest?

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