Dealing with judgemental people! (White/Turkish family)

[Lizzie67384]

Hi everyone,

My husband is Turkish and I am white - we live in a small town in Wales. My husband is a barber (although owns a successful local chain and I am a solicitor). I have a white son from a previous relationship and a half white/half Turkish daughter.

I am SO fed up of the racist comments about what my husband does (including from my own family) and ignorant comments about how I’ll end up a victim of domestic violence purely based on the fact he’s from Turkey. My daughter is not particularly ‘dark’ but it’s clear she is mixed race - I have had so many comments about her and the differences between her and my son!

I guess my question is, has anyone experience any similar ridiculous comments and how do you deal with them?

xx

I’m so sorry you are going through this you would think in 2022 in the uk people would’ve moved on from all this nonsense about skin colour.. like how is this even a thing in modern Britain.

My husband is English and I’m British Asian and have a little one. We live in London and have experienced comments about my skins colour from my side of the family. Very infuriating it’s made me very short with people. I have no tolerance for their shit… I know it’s exhausting but try and call them out as much as possible. Be rude because they are being rude to your husband and your daughter. If you don’t have the energy I would outright walk away and ignore… is there any way you would consider moving? Your family and your mental health is not worth this nonsense.

My sons skin colour*

I have mixed race children and have lived in several areas in the UK.
I've found that you will get comments and racism everywhere to some extent but it does seem to be worse in the smaller towns and villages where people often haven't travelled and many have never even been to a big city. I lived in rural (ish) Somerset before coming to Wales and people would literally turn around and stare, give us dirty looks as if they couldn't believe a white mum could have mixed race children. They had horrible comments thrown at them from a young age at school.
I made sure that I went back to the city afterwards and would not want to take my DCs far away from one with no understanding for diversity.
In London was easier as nobody bats an eyelid but I wouldn't want to go back there.

I think address the family situation first. Racism is horrible but within your own family is even worse- believe me I’m with you on that.

Call out the family members who are racist and if that doesn’t work low/ no contact maybe the way forward.