arabic

[mehdismummy]

hi are there any mums out there with algerian partners out there. Do your dc learn algerian as well if so did it affect what age they started to talk

you have not upset me slim not in the slightest. I have a lady that comes from sure start she gonna put me in contact with a counsellor. He being ok at the moment

I hope I didn't upset you either, mehdismum.

I hope you work things out with your DH.

Good luck

you didnt either. I hope dh changes unlikely but i live in hope

Hello, saw the Arabic thread so had to pop in. My DH is Syrian and I'm English.

I went to Arabic evening classes for a year but gave up when got PG as felt too sick. Also, I have a hearing problem which makes the whole classroom situation pretty difficult so am now looking for personal tutuition with a student or similar so I can get reduced rates as standard personal tuition is so expensive.

DH talks to DS in both English and Arabic and I try to use what little I know of Arabic with him - numbers, names for things etc and he's picking them up very well, but obviously learning more English than Arabic. I do want him to be fluent in both though, hence my quest for a tutor. Makes sense for me to learn it as he spends more time with me than with DH.

As for Islam, I am a convert to Islam so DS is being brought up in the faith - have no issues with it at all.

Moving on from the language issue though, your DH sounds as if he's got problems and needs some help. His behaviour is in no way normal at all. My DH does change a little when we go to Syria - noticed it more when DS was born - he was 100% hands on when we were at his mum's house but as soon as we were at dinner parties with the wider family, it was left to me because that's what is expected over there - the women do all the child care etc but he had apologised in advance for it and was doing it for a quiet life so it was fine to go along with. Your DH sounds somewhat different though....if you need to chat, just let me know

Hugs

Puss

thanks puss i think algeria is alot worse sometimes. Spoke to dh about how women are meant to do everything and how sexist it is. He just said that how it has been for as long as he can remember

Its sexist in Syria as well - I'm just lucky I haven't seen too much of that side in DH's family. Although DH's brother doesn't do anything around the house - won't even put sugar in his tea! The mentality over there is I work to bring the money in, the women do the rest!!!

its just when they try to bring mentality here. Dh is better but does not do womens tasks! Well very rarely. I am very tired. I work three nights a week. From seven pm until one pm. I know it doesnt sound alot but it is just so tiring and by the time i have wound down its two. Then up at six. Up all day ds wont sleep during day and now is two is a right handful! My salary is rubbish and when i told dh this(his money is his money. He does not give me any). He said i should do five nights a week! Unbelivable

hello again.
Agree they should bring that mentality here. If that's what they want, they have nothing to do here in the first place.
And I'm not talking about religious precepts ( a lot of which I do find arguable nonetheless) I'm talking about tribal backwards mentality.
Mehdismum, most north africans are much more "primitive" than Syrians who are generally much better educated and also benefit from having been raised by a well educated women and well read fathers.
So his behavior is completely ingrained by the basic crude human relations he witnessed over there and takes fro granted.
Discussing it is felt like an insult, me thinks.
You should try and rectify his behavior simply by making him realize that the UK is your turf and law is on YOUR side. Give small hints such as it is a joint responsability to support his child and pay some bills. Don't let him get away with this.
Housing you take care of already. It's time he understand you can do without him financially.
Is he British?
Sorry to be so blunt but if he's not then cards in your hands.
I feel horrid saying this but I've seen this sort of situation too many times not to feel like I must tell you.

Saw pics of Mehdi. He's gorgeous!

god do you know how good it is to talk to someone who understands me. Feels like banging head against wall. Especially when he in a mood. Thanks for comment about mehdi. He is the light in my life

Mehdismum - If you don't mind me asking, what kind of work do you do? Does your DH pick you up at 1am? Or do you drive home? and if so, does he look after your DS? btw, had a quick look at pic, stunning boy (mashaAllah)
If we are talking about tradition/culture then it's not at all traditional in any way to expect you to work these hours all week and definitely for him not to contribute - you should put your foot down! I'm sorry you're having to go through all of this Do you have family around?

Pussinjimmychoos - I think we met (you had a different name then) on previous threads. It is good to see you again! How is DS? How are you?

i am a pub manager. I live above where i work. He looks after ds. Thanks for your lovely comments about mehdi. Dh alot better than he used to be.

That's good, at least he is helping with DS while you work. Gotta run, bedtime hour, speak to you again x

ChaCha - I was NikkiBFG, then CrookshanksinJimmyChoos, am a name change tart! . Ill Hamudu Illah I am well thank you - you? We are planning our annual trip to Syria for April and I'm in a flap about being too fat! I was hoping I would have been slimmer than I was last year but erm....no! I really can't put it down to post baby fat anymore..he's 19mths old!!!

Great, good time of year to go too! Any luck on finding Arabic tuition?
Can you send me your email address? I have some info for you on learning.

Hi there! Resurecting the thread because i'm interested...
I'm french and expecting 1st baby with french-born morrocan bf (but we live in london).
No cultural/religious issues here.

Like Jimmychoos i did try to learn arabic but it's hard and bf is not fluent either, however i want our baby to know where he/she comes from so i was thinking.. is there any books to teach arabic to kids (and to mum at the same time!!)
and is there any morrocan fairy tales/story books i could buy (either in french or english)?

Thank you!

mehdismummy please listen to advice i am a muslim and husband converted you should not have to put up with awful behaviour.if you want advice please ask

hi beeny, have left him now. still very hard mfor me, we were also married in a mosque, do i have to do anything about that?

Sorry am new to mumsnet is finallydoneit mehdismummy.

i am indeedy!!!

Am happy to help what do you need to know(hope you are okay)

bearing up, just wanna know is the marriage in the mosque legal, and should i go and speak to a local iman(sp) re h behaviour?

Was your marriage registered under civil law.?If you think locol imam is ok why not speak to him.

yes we were marrriesd at registery office too, he says to get divorced in the eyes of islam we need to go to mosque

Not sure about that.List all your questions will ask sister who has a phd in islamic marriage law and is very balanced.

tahnks beeny