Am I over reacting?

[shannonhinton0421]

This is a long story but I need an outsiders opinion please.
So basically I am white and my partner is Indian. Myself, his sister and his brother have all had our first babies within in the last 8 months, giving his parents who arnt together 3 grand children. His sister and her baby still live at home with his mom, her partner did live there too but mom didn't like him taking care of the baby more than her so kicked him out.
Anyway.... so since my son as been born I have always had a feeling that my partners dad spoke to him differently for example he would go up to my partners niece and say in a baby voice "awww my beautiful princess I love you....." but come up to my son and say "what you looking at, what you looking at" in a joking way but not in a very nice voice at all. At first I just let it pass over my head, bare in mind my son was 3 weeks when this happened. He held him once and almost dropped I had to catch him. He has never like me, me and partner have been together 7 years and we have never seen eye to eye he has always made comments in regards to race "if I was white I would be classed as racist" "white people are racist" "white people can't cook" my sons names is Rohan, he said why don't you just name him a white name like Charlie. I have just let this pass my head for years, I had told partner but he doesn't like to argue with his family. My son who is now 5 months old has came out white skin & blue eyes.
So him and his mother my sons great grandmother came to my partners moms house and both grandad were there, my son and my partners niece, his grandmother handed a full bag of brand new clothes over to my partners sister and said this for Her daughter but didn't buy my son a thing but knowing we were all gonna be there that day. Since the babies have been born his dads side of the family have brought her everything, swings, clothes toys ect.... but I think because I was there with my when this happened it hurt me because all I keep thinking now is one day my son is going to understand and they are bringing toys in for one grandchild and my son he is going to be upset and feel left out.
Also my partners grandmother looked at my son and said "he has dangerous eyes" now this broke my heart as a mother this really hurt me. I tried to bring it up to the family and they brushed it off saying that the way she is and to basically ignore it. But I struggling, I had a tough childhood and treated very different from my sister by my mom & step dad I know this is having a massive influence on my feelings towards my son but I just want to protect him from the way I felt as a child.
My partner has tried to speak to them but they don't see they are doing any wrong, what should I do?

Hi op didnt want to read and run.
It must be very hard for you, I grew up mixed Indian/white , my mother suffered like you are now and I was always treated differently by both sides and never liked at all.
You need to go low contact it is not good for you and not good for the child,racial tension in families never ends well really.
You need to protect your son from this and make your partner aware of what you are doing and maybe have a serious talk about it dont leave it .

Op, I feel really sorry for you, your partner and your beautiful boy. I am Bengali and my dh is English. Our son is completely white with my features. When he was a baby, people thought I was the nanny 🙄. However, as backward as some of my family and relatives can be, they have never shown any difference in treatment towards my son. Your in laws are ignorant and racist. Sorry to say this but they are. Try and go low contact as much as possible. They're toxic and you and your son deserve better. I wish I could advise a resolution that would enhance your relationship with them but unfortunately, they won't change. If challenged, they'll just brush it off as you being too sensitive. Probably laced with some casual racist remark.

This is horrible. I'm so sorry.

My god. How awful for you.
I'm Indian and one thing is that if your SIL is pretty much a single mum then maybe they are rallying around her to make sure she has everything she needs as her partner isn't there.
However, whether that be the case or not, it's pretty disgusting to be handing her bags of gifts whilst you're there with your baby.
It comes across as racist to me, I have a DP who is white and if him and I were to have a child, I'd sooner drop my parents than ever allow them to say anything negative about my child, or to even think of treating baby any different.
I dont think you're overreacting though I do think you and your partner should have a good chat about this now while baby is little, and set some precedents for the future.