Mixed Race Hair

[KatieMac]

If I start it here they can move it to the right place (If they decide to start a topic (& ever decide what to call it))

where do I start......

Nobody is suggesting that anyone cuts off their children's beautiful hair! I think most people on this thread - black and white - are used to caring for their own particular hair type and are just here to share tips on how to care for the many and varied types of 'mixed race hair'. I know that in my own family, DH has only ever cared for his own afro hair and I have only ever cared for my very straight European hair, so both of us (and our respective families) had to get used to caring for our son's amazing mane of ringlets (which, by the way, is so long people think he is a girl! Cut it off? Never!).

p.s. We've learned through trial and error that a combination of afro/European hair products (DarkNLovely shampoo, a mild conditioner like Johnsons , Aveda BeCurly styling products) work well. Best to experiment.

My only dilemma now is whether or not to get my son's hair plaited? I'm not sure if it is too 'European' in texture and may break if it is braided too tightly? Any advice?

I am yet to become a mother, but I am asian and my husband is black west indian. I have very long straight hair and he has very coarse afro hair. We are expecting a baby girl In January 2008.

I sometimes find myself looking at mixed race kids hair and wonder how I am going to cope. Its true that your mother skills is often criticized if you are not fully capable of managing your child hair etc.

Anyone out there can relate to this please let me know how you dealt with your situation.

Good to see this thread is still going!

Yep I identify larina. And not only is your perceived adequacy as a mum dependent on your kids looking well-groomed and cared for - your kids' positive self-image (as mixed-race people) is partly dependent on their gorgeous locks being well looked after and living up to their glorious potential ... So no pressure then

But you'll do fine - just look at the wealth of tips and support we have here

By the way, on the subject of self-esteem - check out the following books which my girls enjoy:
Happy to be Nappy by Bell Hooks and Chris Raschka
I Love My Hair! By Natasha Anastasia Tarpley
My Hair is Beautiful Because It?s Mine by Paula DeJoie.

So if I told you I was keeping next Thursday free to visit you before salsa (births permitting)....

I'm so glad to come across this - I posted a query a while back about good products for hair, and only got 2 answers, now I'm raring to try some of the suggestions on here.
Dd hates having her hair washed, hates having it combed... it's a nightmare. She won't let her grandma try either. 1 of my friends managed to plait it once when babysitting, but even she didn't manage to get dd to let her next time - and she has 5 kids so very experienced...

I am mixed race with lovely curly afroish hair. I used to have chemically relaxed for years, but to me that was harder maintenence because you cannot allow it to dry naturally. it has to be blow dried and tonged, or set on rollers to make it look nice. But now my relaxed hair has grown out and back to its former glory and this is how i keep it now. i shampoo it with pantene age renewal and also its conditioner or the full and thick versions, not the smoothe and sleek one. that one makes my hair frizz! I comb through the conditioner then rinse, I then toweldry, and rub a little Lusters Pink hair lotion into it then comb though some Infusium23 moisturizing formular. The last two products i mentioned come from any good afro hair and beauty shops. dont bother getting it off the net, they are cheaper from store. i know some of you may live a bit far from the nearest town, but is really worth it. they also usually sell main stream products cheaper than places like Boots especially cocoa butter! I can then either roller set my hair or let it dry naturally into ringletish curls. If your child has more of an afro texture of hair, Plain and simple you have to treat it as afro hair. Shampoo, conditioner, leave in moisturizer, blow dry using afro atatchment, oil scalp and braid or cornrow. either learn how to do it or get a nice friend to do it and it willsave you time in the mornings as well cornrowed hair lasts at least a week.

Hello everyone! Something I've found really good for my DD's tight afro curls (my SIL says the curls are tighter than hers!) is Shea butter (look on eBay for the 100% pure stuff) - this also works brilliantly on ashy knees!

I love the fact that it's totally natural and is brilliant for hair and skin.

That's a good tip MimisMama - possibly a bit heavy for my DDs' hair but would be great on their skin I'm sure. I use the Body Shop shea body butter myself but would def use the 100% stuff on them. Can I ask which seller you use on ebay? There seem to be different types of pure shea butter - lumps versus whipped, and refined versus unrefined. I thought this seller looked ok - the whipped stuff looks a bit more user-friendly than the lumps!

OMG Mars I just spotted your message of a MONTH ago

Hello all, newbie here. How is everyone? I was wondering if any have you have seen a mixed -race child (caucasian/african american) have "caucasian" (un-wooly)hair?

Sam

One of my good friends (white gay male) has an adopted mixed race daughter with the most beautiful hair. I was trying to help sort out my neighbor's daughter's mixed race hair (because it looked so awful all the time) so asked my friend how he kept his daughter's hair so beautiful. His recommendation was to massage grapeseed oil (or whatever oil you can find at hair supply place in black neighborhood...I got a 7 oil mixture) into the hair daily. Only wash with shampoo once a week (this is important!!!), but put conditioner on the hair daily (or however often child bathes) in addition to the oil. I did this for 4 days on my neighbor's daughter's hair and it looked great afterwards (and was combable and braidable). You do have to allocate enough time to massage and comb the oil in though. It can take 15 or 20 minutes if the hair is long. However, this can be a lovely bonding time for you and your dd. (My dd has straight white hair, but I spend 15 minutes a day combing and braiding it and we love that time together...she picks hair toggles while I work).
My friend also recommends carol's daughter, but they don't ship to the uk.

Oh yes, forgot to say...dd's kindergarten teacher is a beautiful mixed race woman with beautiful mixed race hair that she wears in a different style every day. Dd now wants me to make her hair curly like her teacher's. HELP!

Hi Franch - this is who I used on eBay: stores.ebay.co.uk/mama-kijura

The stuff is really nice - like solid coconut oil when you have to warm it in your hands to get it oily!

Also, my daughter had little dry patches on the back of her knees and we put some of this on and by the morning it was almost gone - no joke (and I'm not on a commission!).

SofiaAmes and SallyStrawberry - from what you've both said, do you think olive oil would work just as well as grapeseed oil?

My daughter's hair looks beautiful when it's just washed and conditioned, etc but by the end of the day sort of scrunches up with less defined curls so I think I need something more moisturising on it. Because of this, most of the time I put her hair up (I've got loads of styles!) but I'd love her to wear it down too.

Sorry - I can't remember who mentioned Elasta products, but do you think these would be good to keep the lovely curls in my DD's hair all day?

Thanks for reading such a long post!

Quite a few of us have recommended Elasta Mimi, including me - yes, give it a try - see my post of 24 Sept above

Thanks for the shea tip

So... how's Thursday looking for you? Might be in the area!

For shea butter try this guy. Lovely stuff

Reply to Sam's msg earlier today...

Yes, my dd is mixed race (white british/black jamaican) and her hair is not at all afro. It's pretty straight and is soft and fine like mine with just a slight curl at the ends. It's also a gorgeous chestnut brown with red and blond tints I guess the ginger gene is pretty strong!

I've seen photos of her father at about a year old and his hair was a similar texture; its now very curly ('wooly') so I'm not sure how her hair will be in the future.

Yes, olive oil is fine, it's just a little smelly. I think that there are similar oils that don't smell quite so much. I have done a search on the internet and I guess there seems to be much more choice here in the usa. I just went to my local hair supply shop and asked the girl behind the counter who happened to have mixed race hair (fake extensions, it turned out) and she showed me numerous brand options. I bought the one that she said sold the best. Anyway, here's a link to a similar type of oil at a site in the usa. I don't think they ship to the uk, but it gives you an idea of what type of product to look for. Don't forget the conditioner as well. AND DO NOT WASH MORE THAN ONCE A WEEK WITH SHAMPOO.

I just looked on some American sites and there are a bunch of people raving about how wonderful Danbur Vatika Oil is. It's an Indian product, so you should be able to get it at any Indian grocery. Or here's an online store that sells it.

Sorry, make that Dabur Vatika Oil.

Thu's good - DD1 has a school assessment in the morning but so far looks like we'll be in in the afternoon - text me?