Hi,
I’d really like some advice on the situation I’m in. My son is 3 years old, his dad lives in Malaysia (where he’s from) and hasn’t seen my son since he was 2 weeks old. He video calls less and less.. maybe once every few months now but when he does he expects my son to know who he is and call him dad. It was my son’s birthday last month and he called then. He didn’t know how to interact with him and my son just felt so awkward, he started grinding his teeth which he has NEVER done before, just because he was nervous and unsure of what was going on. I have always tried to encourage my son’s dad to let me know when he wants to video call and be more involved and after this call in particular he said he missed him and felt like he has missed so much.. that was over a month ago and we haven’t heard from him since. He doesn’t pay anything and isn’t a particularly nice man but I am unsure what I should be doing so my son doesn’t feel awkward or confused. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do for when we do hear from him every 3-6 months?! Should I be hounding him to be more involved?? I have tried this before with not much luck but maybe I need to be the once to set up regular calls.. Part of me doesn't want to because he isn't nice and I don't really know how much he cares.
His mum is the polar opposite, she also lives in Malaysia yet my son talks to her regularly, knows who she is and enjoys their chats. She also contributes what she can which has been massively appreciated. My son’s dad doesn’t like his mum but I think she’s incredibly kind and generous. My son isn’t lacking in male role models, that isn’t the issue. He has my partner, who he has known for 2 years and has lived with us for the last year. My son also adores my dad and loves my brother. It’s that I just don’t want him to ever feel unloved or like I’ve done the wrong thing.
Thanks
x
Any advice would help. Or similar situations?