Experience of living in Ashford, Kent?

[S3all]

Hiya! I' m looking into moving to Kent and Ashford has caught my eye. I'd like to hear opinions from anyone, particularly POC and families with teens who have lived / or are living there. I may have to commute into London once / twice a week and I'm a single parent with a 13 year old boy. Cheers x

Used to live there (grew up and went to school there) lovely area. The only comment I would make is that in my school there was only a handful of BAME students in the whole school, and some of the attitudes are very outdated/borderline racist particularly in the rural areas surrounding the town (which is where I lived). This was 10+ years ago so it may have changed. It’s only when you move out of an area that you realise! Also be mindful if you’re moving to a rural area that they are building houses like no tomorrow surrounding the town. The high street itself is a complete dive and can feel a little soulless as there’s lots of housing estates but not much of a ‘centre’. Sounds like I’m trying to put you off, I’m not and I had a very happy childhood I think it’s just things to be aware of!

I moved out of London to Kent a few years ago and the amount of casual racism was shocking! I agree with JoeExoticsTiger, there's a lot of new builds being thrown up or in the pipeline and the level of antagonism aimed at the feared-for incomers is notable.

Thanks @JoeExoticsTiger and @Ifailed for replying. These sound in line with my expectations. the reality for me is living in East London is getting too expensive for my liking and I'm not enjoying it at all. Did you / do you feel safe there? Casual racism makes me sigh at this point, unfortunately it's a minimum expectation. I don't feel safe at all where I am currently living

I also wonder, since Kent seems to be quite family oriented, can I expect some negativity about being a single parent?

Is it going to be near the big Brexit car park they are going to need? Check to see where that’s going to be because it could be unpleasant If you’re close to it.

In the nicest way possible I think you are over thinking!!

Kent, mixed race single parent here in a village. No issues whatsoever! Great community spirit/atmosphere. People look out for each other, local facebook pages are a wealth of knowledge and advice!

@Leostar I take your comment fully on board. I probably am overthinking as is my habit, however this is a big deal for us and I appreciate all the shared experiences coming through. I haven't had the nicest experience being a single parent where I am now, so this isn't coming from nowhere

@Goslowlysideways Good point, but no thankfully!

Really! I'm so sorry you've had to experience that.

Single mum and proud here! I'd rather be an amazing single parent than a miserable bugger as part of a couple.

Never let anyone make you feel less than you are.

My hat goes off to all single parents x

@Leostar yes. And really this is to prepare myself and to compare to other areas. I'm looking for any information covering things I haven't thought of. Life is life, there's always going to be some idiot who ruins things and no area is perfect. I'm looking to run away from the city and have a better quality of life x

I think you are doing the right thing. I work in the inner city and I don't know how the parents do it. I would be terrified. The quality of life out here is totally different. You will be able to relax, enjoy your babies and meet like minded people. The fear of the unknown is always worse than actually doing it x

Not a woman of colour but I work in an Ashford primary school and we have lots of children from all heritages (there has always been a large Nepalese community because of the army barracks). The surrounding village schools do tend to be whiter but more and more people are moving out of London to all the Home Counties and no one I know would give it a second thought.

@NaturalBlondeYeahRight I really appreciate you providing insight into this. Thank you!

@Leostar last weekend, some tried to take my son's bike in the Olympic park - a bunch of about 7 boys and one of them wanted to start trouble. He's 13. I went mental. Getting very tired of these kind of things.

I don't drive at the moment which I'm a bit wary of in terms of getting around. I'm curious which part of Kent you live in? If you're not comfortable saying please ignore

20mins west of Ashford on the London Bridge train line. You need to drive where I live! Semi-rural.

I see it day in, day out with work. Some children are truly feral,parents can't cope/aren't interested/broken and it has such a negative effect on everyone else. You wouldn't believe the things I see on a daily basis. It is so sad that I can tell from the look at a child's eye that many are lost at the age of 12 onwards. Heartbreaking.

It's interesting as I've had this exact conversation with a inner city nurse practitioner I work with yesterday. She is looking to Kent as well. She is BAME with tweens.

I’m rural too and drive in to town for work. The high speed train is very expensive but not so bad if you only have to go in a few days. I didn’t read the bit about your DS being 13. Obviously this part of Kent is a Grammar school area so unless he is in grammar already, he would go to the non grammar. Your main problem is you’d have to live in town rather than just outside and it’s just a bit ‘meh’- very uninspiring.
Have you thought about Faversham or Canterbury?

I agree with all comments above. I am a single parent and live in Folkestone just down the road from Ashford. I think there becomes more emphasis for the parent to provide diverse life experiences related to your own background because the kids won’t get it automatically at school or in the community, but I feel much more comfortable bringing up my child in the relative safety of this area than with some of the challenges now in London and larger cities, especially when my son becomes a teen and that could bring its own challenges in the city.

@S3all did you make the move? We moved to Kent this year and we're loving it! I'd definitely recommend a new build estate over an old village. New builds aren't always multicultural but they're pretty much guaranteed to be cosmopolitan ime.