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One Parent One Language - does it actually work?

15 replies

ChokkaBlock · 05/04/2020 12:23

DH speaks English and I can speak Chinese but DH can't speak it so for us it looks like we will be practising one parent one language. However my LO starts nursery when he is a year old and I feel that he will really struggle to pick up Chinese and it will be a lot more work to try and maintain the minority language. Has anyone done OPOL with success?

OP posts:
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paininthepoinsettia · 10/05/2020 11:05

Yes. It will be effort on your part but will be worth it in the end. Is your DH supportive? I think in order to counterbalance the overall minority language you need to up the ante at home. So any tv at home should be in your language, lots of books with text in your language and really try to mix with other families who share the same language. I read up a lot about bilingualism and OPOL and although peop!e say it delays language overall (be prepared for the nursery to say this) this is a big misconception. You might find at a certain age that your child starts answering back in English, be firm about this and insist they only speak in your shared language, they will thank you for it in the long run.

iano · 10/05/2020 11:11

We're doing OPOL. Our DS1 is now 3.5 and understands everything in both languages. I'd say his minority language skills are very good.yes his English is better but he does switch to speak the minority language when talking to me.
Try to spend lots of time with other bilingual families to normalise it.
It's definitely worth it. Btw don't give up just because your child won't speak back in the ml. My son used to answer in English unless prompted but then shortly before his 3rd birthday he suddenly got it.
Good luck!

paininthepoinsettia · 10/05/2020 11:21

Re normalizing it, that is a very important point. Lots of children are embarrassed to speak in their minority language in front of school friends for example, so set a strong example by always speaking to him in Chinese, regardless of who else is around. Explain to his nursery that you are speaking to him in Chinese and always greet him/speak to him in Chinese when you collect him. You could even teach them these greeting words, just so that they are familiar.

How do your ILs feela bout this? IME this can cause problems as ILs want only english (or whatever language they know) spoken around them, I was very lucky that mine were absolutely fine and even started trying to learn the language themselves.

Baytreemum · 10/05/2020 11:26

Yes! 100%! We brought ours up in our two languages and cultures and also added a third when they were 5 and 7 as we were living in a different country. It’s hard work if you want them to be able to read and write the languages too but well worth it.

Natsku · 10/05/2020 12:10

Yes but its a lot of work for the parent with the minority language, you have to be consistent even if they refuse to speak your language. Reinforce with music, books, and tv programmes (as they get older) in your language

GrumpyHoonMain · 10/05/2020 12:24

Yes it can work provided they go to Chinese school to become truly fluent. My parents spoke to us in English. Only one person, my gran, spoke to us in her language and we were fairly verbally fluent as she lived with hs - then we went to language lessons and learned how to read / write properly

AlohaMolly · 10/05/2020 12:26

I’m in Wales and see a lot of parents operating this model and it seems really successful!

NoClarification · 10/05/2020 12:29

My parents did it for me, it worked up to a point. But once I started school in English, they switched to both speaking the other language at home (even though my dad wasn't completely fluent). I think if you want your child totally mother tongue fluent in your language you need some other input than just opol, whether grandparents or other parent or formal schooling in that language.

Baytreemum · 10/05/2020 13:25

Yes you have to stick with it but I do feel it is important for them to be able to communicate freely and understand family and friends in the home language(s) and it also helps with them knowing who they are and to be happy with their identity. My two are English AND the other country and have two passports - they are totally happy and content with that. Speaking a language is not the only aspect either - it also builds an understanding of the culture of the home country - we have always celebrated all the various festivals. It widens their view of the world in a unique and special way.

Easilyanxious · 10/05/2020 18:57

Not done it myself but a colleague did with both his children and it seemed to work fine and a great thing for children to learn from a young age

Yoona · 24/05/2020 23:28

My youngest is 33 months and she speaks both English and Korean with us. Before she started nursery me and my husband both spoke in Korean to her but now we sometimes speak English with her as she has picked up English surprisingly fast :)

CrumpetsAndPuzzles · 24/05/2020 23:46

Yes we’ve done it and my 3 year old daughter is completely bilingual. She’s been going to nursery since she was 1.

Actually her minority language is stronger than her majority language, English. And from a very young age I’ve insisted on her speaking only the minority language to me, which worked as she never ever speaks English to me, even though my husband is British so we speak mostly English together.

As everyone suggested, stick to your language. I never listen to English songs with her, never read books in English (I translate the books if they’re in English), never let her watch TV in English when she’s with me, etc. She’s also very close to my family, who we often see (but not at the moment obviously). Meet mums and organise play dates. And definitely find a Saturday school too, if you can find one. Good luck!

CrumpetsAndPuzzles · 24/05/2020 23:49

And I forgot - this is by far the best book I have read on raising a bilingual child. He’s an American living in Japan who raised perfectly bilingual children, despite hardly ever going back to the US and having very little English around him. Lots of practical tips and ideas.

Adam Beck
Maximize Your Child's Bilingual Ability: Ideas and inspiration for even greater success and joy raising bilingual kids

Viletta · 10/06/2020 01:55

Hi Op and all, thank you for sharing your stories! I'm getting ready to have my first DC and looking into OPOL, my language is going to be minority one. Luckily DH and his family are on board. Thanks for the book recommendation!

Thistly · 03/07/2020 20:15

only works if the primary carer has the minority language.
If the parent with the minority language is out at work all the time, it is really difficult to get enough immersion.

My friend is in this situation and her kids will walk straight out of the kitchen where dad is to find mum to ask for a drink as it’s easier than speaking to their dad in the minority language.
And her kids are doing well.

Minority language at home is a good strategy.

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