Where do i begin? I guess my question is, how do you overcome the reluctance to improve your marriage when your gut tells you it's over but your heart and head still have hope? So, im in my mid 30's, married for 9 years have 4 young kids and my husband is Eastern European. I am British. The main thing that attracted me to him initially were his traits of loyalty, stability, his physical appearance and the way he felt about me. I admit i always knew he loved me more than i loved him. I feel now that i was incredibly naive when weighing up our cultural differences at the beginning of our relationship and since his daughter moved to our town from Europe i have learned a lot about how he deals with things and it brought so much realisation to the surface about what he does in situations which arise which id never really noticed before. Namely as a father, provider, husband. I do not like what ive learned, not that it's anything bad just that he's completely ineffectual in his relationships with his children with me, with money and in new career endeavours. It leaves me feeling like i dont trust him with my or our as a family, financial security, his ability to deal with inevitable teenage and adult children problems, but most of all ive realised we just have zero in common. I dont enjoy spending time with him and the parenting strategies he has are not changing and evolving as i think it should. I know i might sound selfish and ungrateful as he is a true grafter but he has always prioritised work over everything. Maybe that's the communist upbringing he had. I just feel ive hit a brick wall and instead of climbing it im banging my head off it unsure of whether to demolish it, appreciate it for what it is or just walk away and find an alternative route. I need advice.