I need some opinions.. I’m not sure if I’m actually unreasonable or there is something wrong with her..
First of all I am Eastern European, in our culture we respect privacy, mother’s/mother’s to be opinions, we do not do or say anything without the mother’s consent.
As we announced I was pregnant, everyone was happy and then..my OH’s grandmother decided it was okay to post my 1st scan photo on her fb page before we made the announcement (i was only 9 weeks at the time and had no intentions of announcing anything) without telling/asking anybody, she did not understand why I politely asked to take it down as “it wasn’t a big deal”..
Throughout my pregnancy I felt my privacy and personal space was crossed many times, no matter how much I explained why I don’t want my belly touched, they’d still do it.. OH’s mum got drunk and said “this baby you are carrying is mine and not yours” (she’s was a young mum and my OH was her only child, because of fertility issues and always wanted another baby). I took that very much to heart.
I did not want a baby shower but OH’s mum organised one anyway.. and as it was a lovely gesture, I never had a say in anything. She invited her friends and family and the whole shower was mainly about her. I felt like a surrogate!
She would talk about what schools and activities my baby would go to when she is old enough etc.., invite herself to scans.. I got really worried she has some theory that my baby is actually hers.
When my little girl was born I asked for nobody to come to the hospital. They both came, and thought it is okay to take lots of photos posing with my newborn daughter and demanded I quickly make the birth announcement so they can post photos online.
When my baby was 10 days old, my OH’s mum called crying she wants a relationship and bond with her grandchild and asking why aren’t we bringing her over again (she had seen her 3 times in 10 days). Nobody seemed to understand that I just had a c section, my everything hurts, barely sleeping, trying to learn breastfeeding, hormones all over..
Whenever we’d bring her over, she would just sit next to me all the time watching my baby, she would pass her around all her family like my baby was a parcel.. she even called herself mummy in my presence once!
I just wanted to stay at home, get used to my new baby, try to have peace when I can and not drive around all the time because people are demanding to see her! Nobody seemed to care about what I have to say about my child.
She took my baby to her new partner’s parents without my knowledge or consent (first time meeting them as well)
She seemed more concerned about picking what my baby will call her in the future (nanny, nanna) than anything else.
When we said we want to move 45 mins away she threw a massive tantrum crying, giving us like a 1000 reasons why we can’t go..
Even now, i hate when she looks after her because she doesn’t know what she’s doing and my partner says if I correct her, she will get upset and cry.
Now they don’t even message to see how she is, just post photos all over facebook but none come and see her.
Am I being unfair or unreasonable?
My mother is complete opposite, she acts like a proper grandma.