My boyfriends mum doesn't like me! :(

[Girlonfire1998]

I've been with my boyfriend now for about 10 months and I am very happy with him, I've always seen a future with him since we started dating.
However, his family is very opinionated.
I don't conform to any religion but his family do.
He doesn't see our relationship as a problem but I feel as if his mother doesn't agree with us being together.
She's nice to me when I visit the house but a few days ago she was blatantly talking to my boyfriend, whilst I was in the room, about him getting married to another woman and to start having kids (with me not being in the picture).
She also said that when my boyfriend starts his family she wants him to live at home with her, but I'm very free spirited and want my own house with my boyfriend, I don't want to be cooped up with him mum and dad until the day I die.
I'm only 19 and he is 28, which is understandable that his mum might not be okay with the age difference, but I love him more than ever and it would kill me to let him go.
It's sad to think I can't see a future with him if i have to follow the rules of his mums religion (p:s. my boyfriend is not religious either).
My boyfriend cares so much for his family that he would never do them wrong, which makes sense, but because of that he agrees with everything his mum says and I'm scared that he will let his mums opinions overwrite my own opinions of life and how to live.
On a side note: his mum has started becoming more judgmental of me, saying my hair colour is wrong and that I'm gaining weight... which upsets me, but my boyfriend says she doesn't mean it...

Leg it, quick

It's hard because I love my boyfriend....
I feel as if I should give up on him because of his mum but at the same time I'm very independent and he's very family orientated and I can't cope with that...
I can sit down and talk to him but I doubt he will understand because he can't put himself in my shoes..

If he's not shutting her down about marrying someone else do not waste your time.
There will be someone else for you who you will love just as much and who does want the same things as you

Give it up now while it's early days and find someone whose family values more closely match your own.

A good friend of mine's husband's family are from Pakistan and while her husband is absolutely lovely - to my friend and her family and friends - his mum and dad have been against their relationship since day 1. They also were talking about an arranged marriage to him in front of my friend which she found very disrespectful. They are very religious and he is not, having grown up in England and he doesn't subscribe to the muslim way of life. His parents have been outwardly rude to her and not welcomed her at all. The couple are now happily married, but her husband no longer sees his family as they were so poisonous and it's a real shame as their three children have no relationship with half of their family. They didn't go to their wedding and overall it's been actually really sad for everyone concerned.

My point is, if your boyfriend has the strength of character and desire to make it work with you, it may possibly work - but likely to the detriment of his relationship with his family. If you choose to go ahead with the relationship, it won't be an easy ride.

I feel as if I should give up on him because of his mum ...

You wouldn't be giving up on him because of his mum. You'd be giving up on him because of his response to that - siding with his mum and not moving on. Let him know you can't live with that arrangement.

Either he grows a bit more independence from his mum and puts you first, or you will end up moving on because you cannot accept living in the extended family house / environment that he was brought up in. Are you willing to accept that endpoint or not? If the answer is not, you need to make sure he is aware this is a make-or-break problem.

Been where you have been. If he is not putting a stop to this now, he will always side with his mum against you. He might even tell you to keep quiet if it ever came to a direct conflict between you and her.

Run, before a breakup will hurt worse.