For people with jewish husbands, or who are themselves

[blondomatic]

ok my dh is half jewish, im not. My ds looks like his dad (dark hair and eyes, not like me blond/blue eyes). A 'friend' said to me 'aah that be the strong 'jewish genes'' then. I thought racist?! But im wondering, is it true are all my children destined to look like my dh, or is it just like any other genepool, could go either way?
I know this is a potentially sensitive issue and do not want to get into any sticky areas with it, but i am interested in how others with more than one child have found it? thanks

I'm not a geneticist and I know that genetics are really very complicated when it comes to physical characteristics but I think that "paler" genes tend to be more recessive than "darker" genes. So for instance to have blue eyes you need to inherit a blue-eyed gene from both your mother and father. If you have one brown-eyed gene and one blue-eyed gene then you will have brown eyes. Similarly blonde hair is generally recessive to dark hair. So in that sense "Jewish" genes from the middle-east/Palestine area will be sort of strong over celtic/scandinavian genes.

Of course that's not the whole story, otherwise every child who had one black and one white parent would look as though both parents were black, and that's clearly not the case.

Does that mean I have a blue eyed gene floating about in me somewhere (green or brown eyes depending on health and mood) - Both DC have bright blue eyes like their father.

Hi,

My Dad is half-jewish. I take after him with dark hair and dark eyes. I have two sisters, one is blonde with brown eyes, the other is mid-brown with blue eyes (after my Mum.) I have two children. One is like me - dark hair, dark eyes but with pale skin like his Dad. My Daughter has olive skin like me, but light hair!

I'm not sure if any of this is relevant, but hope it helps!

I'm not sure your friend was being racist. I think (from my very rusty memory) that genes that carry dark hair, dark eyes etc can be more dominant than blonde hair/blue eyes.

There is a biological formula that is supposed to give you a probability of what your children will be, but again that is only a probability and everything is really based on the chaos theory (that everything is down to chance.)

Dcs father's dad was Jewish but mother wasn't. All my family are Jewish with no inter-marriage that I am aware of and majority are dark haired with brown eyes, although my father was fairer with grey eyes.

Both dcs started blond, darkening to light brown hair with blue eyes and are the image of their father. Does that help confuse things?

You may have a blue-eyed gene Flame, but as I say it's complicated. I'm not sure but I think green can be recessive to blue, so perhaps your dcs have your green gene but the blue is dominant. (I'm really hoping a geneticist will be along soon who can give a proper answer.)

DH has a friend who is ethnically Indian, and he has two dd's from his first marriage to a blonde, blue-eyed woman. The younger daughter has dark hair and eyes and a skin colour which is half way between each parent but the younger daughter is very pale with blonde hair and blue eyes. When we asked dh's friend he it turned out that he had a Scottish great-grandfather and the recessive pale genes had passed down to him without being apparent in his appearance or his mother's. I think like Funkimummy says, it's mostly chaos theory.

Just to add to the chaos theory........

I am part Asian with olive-skin, very dark wavy hair and eyes. Dh is white, has black curly hair and blue eyes.

Our children have very pale skin, bright blue eyes and dead straight fair hair.

Thanks for the answers! yes i think it is a bit of pot luck and the recessive/dominant gene idea kicking in. So yes she probably wasnt being racist, which is good.
I did look on a dna website (too much time at home over last year!!) and it is a low probability my dh has blue eyed gene so probably all my dcs will be brown eyed. Blonde hair is a result of genes being turned 'on and off' which is probably how weebleswobbles blonde to light brown occurs.
i think it can be mixed up though, its possible ill have a dc with my facial characteristics but darker in colouring?
interesting how mixed up it can be

ok ill have to whisper this question less about science and more emotive. Does anyone with typically recessive genes mind that your dcs probably wont have your colouring?
(adendum il obv love my ds and dh but just wondering how others feel about it)

we're both jewish, as is my sis & her husband

we have two dark haired , dark eyed children, and DH is dark haired , dark eyed, i & my sister have dark hair but light (green) eyes

on my side of the family, my great grandmother had blue eyes, and light hair, my dad had blonde hair as a child, but dark eyes , and his hair went darker and darker

my sister has 1 child, who is blonde & blue eyed ! and my cousin has 5 children, all blonde & blue eyed, whilst she and her hubby are dark haired and dark eyed

i think it depends where your Jewish genes come from, as Bran has said

in our family , we are of russian / polish / eastern european ancestry..possibly more likely to be light haired and light eyed?

whereas my husband has a similar ancestry, but his family name is Israeli, which might suggest middle eastern roots somewhere, which are more likely to be dark haired dark eyed..

anyhoo, i think my children are beautiful as is my nephew, i think it is irrelevant where their looks and genetic make up came from !

yeh youre right lulumama. im sure they are gorgeoussss . as i said too much time at home over last year pondering

when DD was born, her eyes looked as though they might be a light colour. and i did hope she would have green eyes, like me ! was a tad disappointed when they went dark brown.. i suppose, i wanted my daughter to look more like me than DH !! but she is a doll ! and she and her brother look so sweet together, as they are similar looking, and i like that ! they both look more like DH than me, but they have my brains

me too bettybobo! im going to think about other stuff now. like what to have for dinner

I'm 100% English, my partner is 100% Alsation Ashkenazy Jew.

Both of us have fair skin, blue eyes, blond hair, are tall. So it's quite hard to work out where our daughter gets her looks from. She has her father's slighty almond-shaped eyes (very un-English, a bit Eastern European). Otherwise she looks very English to me.

if you have another cchild I bet you it will look like you
my ds1 is a clone of MrWong, ds2 is a little Whitey

funny old world innit?

lulumama, my lo is too young yet to know if he has my brains/personality. Im hoping on the brains front, dh personality is better . that would make me happy
anna8888 how exotic does your dh sound! i love the Alsation Ashkenazy description
suzywong, thank you for saying that. About 9 out of 10 of my friends first babies are spitting images of their fathers. My ds looks no more like dh, than theirs do iyswim. So i guess it could go either way
Dh thinks i have a hangup over this and need to get over it. MN is my last port of call to see if there is anyone else who feels the same way. Otherwise i guess its the nuthouse for me

can you put your finger on why you are concerned about your DCs looking more like their DF than you?

also,as they grow up, they will look more like 'themselves'.

I just wrote it all then lost it! is that a sign?, here goes again.

Lulumama i have a bit of time while ds is asleep to try and answer your question.
im a bit confused so apologies if it comes out muddled.
I will try and put my finger on why it might concern me

• a very intrusive mil who tried to push her family traditions onto our new young family has had an adverse effect on how i view his family
• all my family o/s so no counterbalance to this + plus having them around would reinforce he is 'my baby too'
• it could be pnd (have been to see a gp but basically feel its self diagnosis, you say ti have pnd and they say here are the ads, i dont want to take them so looking into other options)
• sometimes i find it hard to see dh in the same lovable light (could be due to the above)

I have to say when i met dh i loved that he was the opposite in looks to me, and thought he was gorgeous i just didnt factor in oh that means our dcs will be like him due to 'strong genes' etc ectc. Does anyone?

all this doesnt matter really. But i cant help this little bit of heartache i get when i see los who look like me, and when i look at photos of my family, i really dont want this to be the case!
lulumama i think your babies are lovely i looked! Im a bit wary of posting this but i am a bit i feel this way and thought if there was someone else who did to it might help me understand it.

i also think as they grow up they will become themselves so im just kind of ignoring these feelings for now. I think they will go away.

i wish i could rename this thread. It has nothing to do with religion.

send a mail to MNHQ and request the change maybe

I think it is natural to want your babies to resemble you in a way. I was quite chuffed to see that dd had exactly my eye colour (and hoped it wouldn't change!). Dh kept peering into her eyes wondering if they would turn green (and hoping it I think) because he said his turned green when he was about 4...

Babies often look a lot like their fathers when they're newborns (once they no longer look like squashed aliens that is). I read somewhere that it is nature's way of helping ensure the fathers accept them. They don't always stay that way. Apart from her eye colour, dd looked just like dh and not at all like me. I did feel a bit sad about that. Nowadays people say, oh you just have to glance at her once to know who the mother is, she looks exactly like you. (Actually I still see a lot of dh in her but there you go...)

blondomatic, I think the problem (if ther is one) is that you feel isolated . It is hard enough having to deal PND and invasive mil, let alone invasive jewish mil.
I'm sure she absolutely did not mean to upset you and i'm sure there will be many more times when she will come accross as overprotective, overeager, overproud of her jewishness.
I think you need to come to terms with having family overseas, and build bridges when you can with in laws here and protect your family from undue interference when you feel it is necessary (probably now is a good time).
How your child looks, is not really a problem here. Don't waste time wondering how you next children will look. You are just creating a further silly motive to get upset.
Take care and get help if you really feel you have pnd. Don't let it fester.

not jewish, but read thread and wanted to add that i', 5/4, small build, mousey (hurray for highlights am the blonde of my childhood), blue eyed, and go brown in the sun. My Dh (a kiwi) is 6'2, built like a brink house, dark by birth (non now[grin})blue eyed and goes red at the sight of sun. DS1 is 7 years, slight, fair, blue eyed and tans nicely (liek his mum . DS2 is 2 years and weighs 7lb less than DS2 is built like a house, is fair and has blue eyes too but looks like a tomatoe if the sin visor is not in the right place on teh windon. It's hard to understand genetics. I have had PND though and if you think you have it, seek help, I didn't and nearly 3 years later, I am out of the wood looking at the trees wondering where 2 years++ of our lives went. I love DS2 but a year ago felt very differently.

ok have re-read my post hope you get the gist, am off to put the boys to bed, obviously tired fingers typing

I come from Jewish stock on my fathers side, and Scots on my mothers, Myself and 2 of my brothers have dark hair dark eyes, like my father the other dark hair and green eyes (mother was blonde with one blue one green eye)

My Ds's father was a mousey brown hair blue eyes, eldest Ds blonde green eyes,, younger dark hair dark eyes.

Dd father blonde Blue eyed, she was the same.

Dgd eldest Ds daughter has a blonde blue eyed mother and she is the image of her.

confused now

My ex hubby was from Turkish parents Israeli born Jewish. Bright Blue eyes fair hair. Me? from the UK dark hair dark eyes...
My children all have my dark brown eyes and the two girls have my brown hair. My son had topaz eyes and blond hair! Figure that one out... He always used to say as a kid, when will my hair go a proper colour???