Afro hair out of control on 15 month ds. Help needed.

[flutterbee]

I have no idea what to do with ds's hair.

I love it but it's starting to go all fuzzy, do I just leave it to grow through it, or can I have some snipped off to tidy it up or do I have to have a load cut off.

I stupidly thought that DH would have all the answers.

I may not respond for a while because ds is desperate for my attention but please help me, I may be able to post pic later if thats any help.

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I take it your dh is black. I am too & in my family, there's a superstition about not cutting a child's hair until he's 1 year old. So, you've past that milestone & can now cut his hair.

But really, if you're having trouble keeping it neat, there's no reason not to cut it. I cut ds' hair myself. Depending on how thick his hair is, you could even use clippers if dh helped by cuddling him. Or take him to a barber/hairdresser who's familiar with afro hair. Alternatively, if you like his hair long & want to encourage it to grow, you can have it canerowed (plaited). I'd definitely suggest a black hairdresser for that though. It'll save you a lot of daily maintenance.

And of course you can put some hair oil in it. Without seeing your DS' hair I don't know which one to recommend.

My DDs use one called Motions, it's not greasy and brings out the curl in the hair.

Thank-you for the replies on this, I have just got in from work and I'm exhausted. I shall pop back on tomorrow with a little more info and possibly a pic.

Product, product, product!
Take him to a black hairdresser and get them to advise on the right product to keep the hair separated, curly and not frizzy. (this will prevent it getting knotted, too)

Or you could consider funky dreads, or cane row (plaited on to the head) or other plaits. All are in evidence at DS's school and look fantastic on little boys.

I used to care for a little girl who was mixed race - product and plaiting.

Sorry to hijack but nearly started thread like this.

At what age can you use products, dd at 5 months has hair two inches long at least and it is starting to knot, especially at the back.

Hi, Organic root stimulator olive oil is what I use on my hair (I'm black) and on the children's (mixed race). I do feel (personal opinion!) that if you would like to keep a boy with afro hair long..then have it plaited. Also, because the majority of us have dry hair, you need to keep the moisture in and not wash the hair often. Good luck

Thanks I will try olive oil before DP gets his hands on her hair and uses the stuff he uses on on his dread locks

Flutterbee - my friend uses a detangling spray on her DD (3 yrs old) that she gets from supermarket - don't know what sort though. Unfortunately as her DD pulled her hair out as a baby she couldn't help me

Hi my son is afro caribbean mixed with white (me) I have the same problem. I used baby love hair mousteriser/hair dress after his hair his bath when his hair has dried also i use a child friendly detangling/comditioner spray when wet and lightly comb through everyday. I tried oils and olive oils but was never enough to keep it looking nice all day. Steph

Dd (9 months) is mixed race, dh is black, and he's always nagging me to sort out our dd's copious locks. I can't understand people who load their baby's hair with all these frightening products floating around for afro hair , I mean does anyone know what's in them? Or the effect they could have on a tiny one's scalp? We prefer the natural solution and put nothing but organic coconut oil on dd's hair - never use shampoo on it, only water and occasionally a bit of her slightly soapy ( earth-friendly baby) bathwater...she's got gorgeous hair - although hasn't been cut yet, when she gets to about a year I need to find a good hairdresser or start a lifetime of training myself...!

Dark and Lovely is an excellent brand, reknown with african/caribbean people. They do a lovely set of shampoo and detangling leave in conditioner... I am mixed and my daughter is doubly mixed (DH full Jamaican) and please, please, as a fellow mixed race person with a mother who was also 'scared' of black products, dont avoid them!!! It made me grow up to hate my hair when i should have cherished it! I think as a parent u need to understand that arfo hair is VERY different to caucasian/european hair and therefore NEED to seek assistance from those in the know. I feel very passionate about this because i was made to feel that my hair was a burden as a youngster when in actual fact it was a blessing.... Good Luck.x

One of the reasons I'm so cautious about these products is that, in dh's younger days, he got a friend to straighten his (then gorgeous thick afro) hair with some dodgy chemicals, and his scalp has never been the same since - got burnt and he now has keloid scarring - I will ban my dd ( or at least strongly advise against - banning will always have the opposite effect) from straightening her hair with chemicals

I don't see why my daughter should grow up hating her hair by respecting it in the natural way...I love her hair - everyone comments on its beauty - so if it ain't broke - don't fix it!

this may not be very easy to do but, have you thought of asking / paying a black woman to teach you the basics of canerowing? I grew up in the caribbean (with american indian hair) Most of my friends had afro hair and there was just so mcuh you can do with it. I learnt the basics by watching my friend's mums doing their hair.

i know it sounds a bit crazy but maybe an elderly black woman who would love to teach you the basics in exchange for some pleasantries and even payment.

Not talking about 'relaxing' it pom, would never do that either... just the everyday hair products made for afro/carribbean hair.

Thats a great idea kiskiddee. It isn't easy my cousin is having problems with her daughters hair at the mo (mixed). She took her to Jamaica recently and this Jamaican woman cussed her in the street for not looking after it! Since then shes been to the market and stocked up! Looks lovely now.

i agree taht 'dark and lovely' products are excellent for black hair. it is more expensive than 'Pink' products but i think Pink is cheaper. I have seen Pink in shops in the one time i went to Brixton. I live in a very white part of england.

oh, i just looked at the Pink website. it has loads of hair products for relaxed hair. i was only thinking of the Regular or Light hair Lotion and maybe their Shampoo / or Conditioner.

i see you want to be eco-friendly etc. but it is worth a look. Your baby would use such tiny amts that a bottle should last years. v. little harm to her or the environment.

Allways oil moisturiser leave in conditioner is great for my daughter's hair, although her hair is more european in texture I use a small amount and it works wonders as it can get a little dry and frizzy on the ends. I also find plaiting her hair has helped it grow immensely, preventing the near death crying every morning. However, the plaits do tend to unravel quite easily but the ends look great as they tend go into spiral curls.

Give it a try. I sympathise as us mums just want the best for our babies. Good luck in your search.

hi flutterbee, believe me i have been there! i understand how hard afro hair can be if you dont do the correct things, 1) always comb just once or twice a week with a wide toothed comb, do this in the bath after shampoo use conditioner then comb with a afro comb when the conditioner is still in hair. (rember to use shampoo for afro hair, also called a clenser and conditioners), when you have done these things gently towel dry, then add moisture spray or cream, then plat the hair in 6 sections, these plats can stay up to 2 weeks.(always comb hair when wet or very damp, as dry hair breaks when brusshed!
I can advise on many topics of afro hair so ask if you need any advice, or product info.
Oh forgot 2 say avoid shampoos with chemicals like sodium lauryl sulfa, and sulfate and ammonium!!!

ahh yes I've now been informed that because of DS2's "curly" hair it will be easier to leave it slightly longer (he usually uses the clippers on both DS's hair - although DS1's is afro but thick and straight not curly) and use gel or something or other in it.

Won't cornrow it - little (or big for that matter lol) boys with Zimbabwean roots (scuse the pun ) don't do that sort of stuff with their hair - it's reserved for the girls