living in a rural 'white' island community - advice please!

[lululo]

Hello, we are a mixed heritage family living in a remote, 'white' village - this week I took LO to toddlers for the first time and some of the toddlers focused immediately on my and LO's skin colour. Qs like 'Why have you got a brown face?' etc. I did respond, but not sure how much was taken in/on.

I was not unaware of the challenges of raising a child in such a community, but I wasn't expecting to have to tackle these issues at the toddler stage!

I don't have family here and when I have reached out to other mixed heritage families in other areas on the island they've been cold and tell me they don't have any problems and when I've got to know them better I realised that their children were not being raised as mixed heritage or dual heritage.

I want my LO to value both her heritages equally and would appreciate any advise on how to tackle the above and any tried an tested strategies on how to raise a LO full with self esteem and confidence in this situation.

Many thanks in advance for any helpful advise!

Where about are you living? You say remote "white" village but then you mentioned other mixed heritage on your island.

Sometimes kids ask questions that's adults would never ask re skin colour.

You have a lovely opportunity to explain and educate the young ones about your heritage.

Are you sure other families have had no issues?

Our new DD is mixed heritage (biological sister of our DS, but different birth father) and we live in a fairly mixed Northern town, so we do see families of a variety of ethnicities at baby and toddler groups. However children do comment on these things more than adults, and I have read that white families hardly ever mention colour, and that has to apply more to white adults than white children.

We are happy to talk about her ethnicity but we feel that other white families think it's taboo to mention it so we sometimes mention it first. My DN, 10, however, asked if she'd been out in the sun, my DM with whom she was visiting looked embarrassed but we talked to her about DD's heritage and DN was really interested.

We also talk about our DC's adoption and children also mention this more than adults do, and ask more "personal" questions. We just answer them honestly and if they are too personal or prejudiced then thankfully you can say to children "that's not something you ask/that's not a word that's polite to say". If only you could do that to adults...

I'm so confused. Your title says live on an island. Then you say you live in a fairly mixed Northern town, so we do see families of a variety of ethnicities at baby and toddler groups. makes no sense. Is the island a metaphor?

I have read that white families hardly ever mention colour, and that has to apply more to white adults than white children.

We are happy to talk about her ethnicity but we feel that other white families think it's taboo to mention it so we sometimes mention it first.

I'm white. I have no issue discussing skin colour if needs be. I have never mentioned someone's skin colour to my son (or anyone else) not because it's taboo, but because it's unnecessary. The colour of a person's skin means nothing to me.

I'm white and we live in a not very ethnically diverse part of Scotland. Our next door neighbours are from Sri Lanka originally and my DS2 (4) had asked why their DDs have different skin to him. I have no issue talking about race with him and I'm pretty sure my neighbour would be comfortable talking about it too.

That's because the op said she lived on an island and another poster, giving her story, said she lived in a town.

Tallypet you're confusing a later post with the OP

Woopsie, I got confused between the posts. Sorry .
New layout still has me confused - should have paid more attention.

Again, sorry xx