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Multicultural families

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Original poster

" Dirty Skin"

7 replies

lounan · 02/05/2006 11:30

My DS who is 4 mixed race doesnt look it, people think he's italian/spainish. dh is half black/white me white came home the other day from nursery saying " my skin is dirty i need to get it off" i was so taken aback and upset that he could come out with such a comment at this ageShock.Apparently a girl in is nursery made this comment to him she is chinese (adopted white parents).
Have been telling him how beautiful his skin is and being very positive about other family members skin types , explaining how everybody is different. Dont know what else to stay or do, any advise welcomed please.

OP posts:
rummum · 02/05/2006 11:34

I'd definately mention this to the nursery.. they need to do a circle time on how "everyone is different and special"...
sounds like your doing the right thing telling him he's beautiful... Smile

Blu · 02/05/2006 11:36

I don't think there's much else you can do, Lounan. DS is mixed race too, and sometimes we say 'ooh look, you can see that you were made by Mummy and Daddy, this is daddys skin, this is Mummy's skin, and this is yours'. But in a low key way.
Also casually introduce (if you haven't got them) books which show a whole range of kids.
I wouldn't make TOO big a deal of it to him (ime, children who are re-assured too much assume that there is something dodgy that they need to be re-assured about, iyswim - i.e the act of re-assurance simply confirms that there is a problem) but I might have a v tactful word with the nursery. it isn't the little girls fault, but it would be as well for nursery staff to be geared up to deal constructively and sensitively with any more misapprehensions.

Marina · 02/05/2006 11:40

Talk to the nursery right away, lounan, they will know how to deal with this tactfully and appropriately. How very upsetting. I know ds' nursery had some excellent, fun books for story time on respecting difference.

Angeliz · 02/05/2006 11:46

It seems to be a nursery age thing too.
My dd suddenly came home from nursery oneday and said that she didn't like a certain boy as he had different skin! I was actually mortified and terrified the Nursery would think she had racist parents!Blush
I actually had a word with the Teacher who said it was normal but she'd have a chat about it with them all. Infact the next week was all about different cultures and things so it was very good timing. Thankfully my dd grew out of it very quickly. In Reception unfortunately she's picked up about fat!! Someone told her hse had 'fat' blood, another one won't drink full fat milk!!

Hope your ds gets past this soonSmile+
As others have said though, i wouldn't make too big a deal of it.

Angeliz · 02/05/2006 11:47

Not that she is fat btw.She's chuffin' gorgeous!!Grin

mysonsmummy · 02/05/2006 12:01

thats really hard - my friends says im too touchy about ds whose mixed race and i am white. hes 4 and has not seemed to notice yet. but i need to be careful i dont let him see my insecurities. but a little boy came up to me at the gym the other day and said i know why is brown - its when a black man and a white lady get married they have brown children. his parents must have sat him down and told him that as his sister is in lo's class. it did make me laugh - it was so simple to him and really answered his question.

cooperflykiller · 04/05/2006 09:30

Thats so sweet! And it's perfect!

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